I have a friend. She is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. Words can't describe her. I have so much respect for her. There's a big age difference (over 10 years) but I feel so connected to her in so many ways.
We got close but then I moved. We still talk to each other nearly every day.
One day I was talking to her and she told me she was changing jobs. I got strangely depressed about it, because it meant she would be moving. Even though we live thousands of miles away I felt more distant.
Then I found out she was pregnant. It was really hard for me to be happy about it and I don't know why! I feel really down about it.
Can anyone give me any insight as to why I get depressed whenever she tells me about the changes in her life?
2007-12-17 19:47:10 · 15 answers · asked by Yasuko 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It depends on what you want and expect from the friendship. If she is the older one, she may represent a mother figure and you want to depend on her for emotional support. With her so far away geographically can you simply enjoy staying in touch and trying to be happy for her.
Perhaps you invest too much time thinking about her life. A pregnancy should be a happy thing. If you're depressed about that you may regret that more of her attention will be taken away from you. I'm saying these things based on the fact that I don't think your feelings for her are romantic in any way. Life if filled with changes - for you as well as for her.
2007-12-17 19:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by redhighheelsneakers_ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because you were so close before and seen each other all the time. Now that she has moved away you feel less important in her life. You found out that she is pregnant and that means that you will miss out in all the little things like her cravings and the baby kicking and seen how her belly develops over time. Now that she has a new job and is moveing again its more change again and you dont have anysay in or she decided it before telling you about it or little things like that. So overall you really miss her and because you are so far apart now you feel less important and your probebly afraid that she will meet another friend like you and become there best buddy. Its normal to feel like this just keep in touch and visist eahc other every now and then.. I hope this has helped.
2007-12-18 04:02:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't really answer this question without asking some.
Are you afraid you may be losing your closeness because of the changes in her life?
Are you jealous of the changes in her life?
Do you feel she has made good changes in her life?
What would you like to be different, and can you change it?
If your okay with the changes, then be happy for your friend and go on with your life. If not, consider why. No matter what she does, you still have to make peace with yourself.
2007-12-18 03:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by Husker Nation aka Dank1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just feel sad that you cant be there for this friend that you care so much about. When someone you care about has changes in their life you want to be there to show them you care and support them. You could try sending flowers or a greeting card or just making an extra phone call now and then to just say your thinking about her. Even if that's not the problem it might cheer you up a little to know that you brightened your friends day a little.
2007-12-18 03:58:54 · answer #4 · answered by loquitaamericana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know..i just read an article at cleo about girls who are so close that they start to treat each other as subtitutes for bf.not in a les way..but you know becuz they feel so connected to that person..dont take me wrongly but it might be cuz ure jealous and that her attention will not be on you anyme now that shes pregnant and soon to have a baby..theres nothing a simple discussion can cure..you can talk to her bout it..u can help her by taking care of her and maybe help her baby sometimes..she will provide you with all the experience you need..jus talk to her how u feel..but try not to hurt her feeling..good luck
2007-12-18 03:53:54 · answer #5 · answered by rad_trend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You care too MUCH for her.. MAybe she's someone you give great importance to.. You loved being with her the way she was.. And now when she's changing, you are a little bit insecure..
But there's no need to worry.. She'll always be your friend, no matter what happens..
2007-12-18 03:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by Stranger somewhere out there!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess it could be because you are a tiny bit jealous perhaps? of course you are happy for her but maybe you wish all those exciting changes were happening to you aswell. or maybe your scared of losing her as a friend? having a baby and moving away might take up alot more of her time so she has less time for you.
2007-12-18 03:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u get like that cause u wish u were there with her when she has the changes u want to be the one that she calls and says hurry come to my house i got big news and u cant cause ur so distance and i know u want to be happy about her pregancy but ur not there to help her pick out baby clothes and what not
2007-12-18 03:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by mz_clean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say its because u cant be there to enjoy these good times with her?Maybe its to mach change 4 u to grasp on to,why don't u go stay with her 4 a few days if possible?that should help,Good luck & God bless
2007-12-18 03:55:02 · answer #9 · answered by miranda m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have what I would call friendly jealousy. Its natural if you have more than a soft corner for a friend. I guess you were in love with her earlier, even though you have never thought about it.
2007-12-18 03:52:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋