just a plain affectionate hug.. or a goodnight kiss.. or a good morning kiss.. I miss it so much.
(he doesn't seem to understand how much i yearn for it, i talked to him about it, no effect)
today morning, i requested him for a hug, and he point blank refused. but it was all normal business after then, he was joking and all. he didn't even notice, that i was down, and cried a bit after he had left the room.
2007-12-17 19:07:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's being too insensitive. It's not a healthy thing in marriage. <*-*>
2007-12-17 19:24:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people (usually men, but even women) are simply not capable of giving themselves emotionally or even physically. It can be that they're not "emotionally intelligent".
I, too, have a desperate need to give and recieve loving touches, cuddling, hugs, good communication, and warm, tender, meaningful connections. If you've ended up with a person who is the opposite, you will never be happy. I divorced my first husband for fear of dying a lonely, miserable person. I'm now married to the world's best, sweetest, wamest hugger and communicator, and ooohhhhh, how lucky I am!!
Try talking to him very, very seriously about this. Most men don't get hints...you have to really make him understand how you feel. But, if he's incapable of emotional warmth, then you might have to consider moving on, because as the expression goes: you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear! Best of luck.
2007-12-18 03:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through this exact same thing. I've tried talking to no avail. I have no idea what I'm going to do. He used to cuddle and compliment and kiss all the time. Holding hands was our thing. Now he barely touches me. I hugged him yesterday and he gave me a lame one armed body turned away hug. I find excuses to touch him and I never get anything in return. He told me it's because he's stressed and he pulls away when he's stressed BUT he doesn't pull away during sex. He's super touchy then. All romantical and crap. So if he were really that stressed, then our sex would be affected too. I'm convinced that he just doesn't want me. He wants sex. That's it.
The only thing I can tell you is be direct. No beating around the bush. Give it a few months and then see. But you might need to lay off on asking for hugs and stuff. See what happens when you stop touching him or trying to get him to touch you. If he doesn't notice, then I'd move on. That's what I'm gonna do.
2007-12-18 10:34:28 · answer #3 · answered by amy a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just not affectionate in that way.
and how long have you been married? Was he always this way?
Perhaps you need to reflect to see if he was always this way, and you can either accept it, and move on with your marriage, or look at counseling or finding someone who loves to hug you, all day and night ,and possibly will drive you insane.
If he loves you, in every other way, then seek counseling for you as an individual to help you, and both of you as husband and wife, to make it work.
Perhaps, maybe YOU may think he is just not being affectionate at the moment you want him to be?
things to ponder.
I wish u both well, and really consider marriage counseling.. or seeking the help of a pastor?
just thoughts....
but working to communicate your needs to him and vice versa really goes a long way
2007-12-18 03:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by Rochelle T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have to tell him how it hurts you when he won't give you a hug and how it's affecting your marriage. Communicate with him. He may just not be the affectionate type. I hate men like that! I have had men that aren't affectionate with me and I am so touchy feely that it just doesn't work. I believe your husband loves you he just isn't informed. Tell him. Thats the first step. I mean really tell him. Good luck and I am sending you a million hugs! cheer up! Someone cares! :)
2007-12-18 03:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by rashida_16 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi... was he always like this?
Some people love us, but want their own space... you can sit next to them, but don't cling or be all lovey-dovey... some people are just not wired to be all affectionate and gooey?
Or has he changed? Was he affectionate in the past?
If this is a big issue, maybe you could talk with someone who can help -- minister? therapist?
i hope it works out... i'm sorry you are crying and upset.. if it's this bad, you really do need to get some direction and find someone to talk with... take care hon.
2007-12-18 03:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just not the 'touchy-feely' type. Its not that they don't have the affection, its just a physical - personal space thing.
You might try talking to him about it. About how you yearn for some physical casual intimacy.
Baby steps.... its something that has to grow.. and it won't happen all at once.
Good luck...
2007-12-18 03:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by bakfanlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have obviously been lucky enough to have been raised in an affectionate family, whereas your husband doesn't seem to have. So to him it would be making him feel uncomfortable to do so. It doesn't have anything to do with not loving you etc.
2007-12-18 03:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that is weird...
and you have to ask for a hug?
have no idea why he would do that...
maybe counseling...
don't ask for anymore...just try cuddling a little while you watch TV.
Joy to you!
2007-12-18 03:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women want affection. Men want sex. If they don't get what they want, they withhold what the other wants.
2007-12-18 03:12:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋