My best friend died. I can't cope with everyday life.?

Question

Two weeks ago, one of my best friends was killed in a car accident. I've known him since we were in elementary school, and I think I've become clinically depressed. I won't use names, but we all had nicknames for each other so I'll use them.
Oso is the one who passed away, and he was one of my three best friends that I've been with forever. We were the Four Muskateers, the four amigos, been more family to each other than any of our biological families have ever been...
Yesterday after holding it through school I came home and collapsed on the floor crying as soon as I got in the door. I've been listening to the 'Apologize remix' on repeat for two hours. The last words I said to him were "Awesome tattoo!"
Awesome ******* tattoo. What a pointless ******* statement. I have been holed up in my apartment with my roomate Q, who has completely seperated himself from the world since... yeah
I can't bring myself to talk to anyone about it face to face, and I'm stuck in my room. help

It still doesn't even feel real. like it's not allowed to happen. Oso can't die, no one would ever even think that. He's O-to-S-to the muthafuckin O... I don't want to start on any medication or anything like that. things like this really put perspective on all the whining these bitches do every day

Answer 1

Hi. I'm here to deliver you a message.

"Oso does not want you to waste your life away for him. That he would like you to be happy. That you've been depressed already for a few months before and he's concerned. That he looks at you like a younger bro and wish you the best. That the time he spend with you guys are precious and good memories. That the greatest honor you can do for him is to live your life to the fullest. Keep the memory of his near your heart and he will never be far."

Answer 2

Hi hon...

You are grieving, and the first stages of grief deal with ANGER and DENIAL....and i think this is what is happening right now....

I'm so sorry for your loss... i know it doesn't really help a lot, but i understand because i lost a friend when i was young, also.

When we are grieving, it's actually all about us and our feelings, not necessarily about the person himself. I am not a christian person, but i do believe in the afterlife, and i think your friend is now living a peaceful, even cool existance wherever he's gone. And better than he had when he was living life as we understand it.

I have found a couple of websites for you dealing with grief and loss.... one explains the stages of grief, and the other deals with coping with grief.

i sure hope that they help, even in some small way... maybe you could keep these websites handy and read them once in a while.. also, if you do a yahoo search, you can find more information on coping with grief and loss.

sending hugs your way... and take the time YOU need to grieve... it helps, believe it or not..

Answer 3

You never know when someone is going to leave this world. It's not a pointless statement at all. Those "last words" sounded like terms of endearment. You can't get on yourself for that. You are probably still absorbing the whole fact that he is actually gone. This is good. You need to go through the grieving process to come to terms with this ordeal. It's hard...take your time. You seemed to have a good relationship with your friend. So sorry for your loss. Take care.

Answer 4

I have a close group of friends as well, and there are four of us. We're a dorky little group, and we call ourselves the Fearsome Foursome, or the FF for short. The three of them are my best friends in the world, and I can't begin to feel the loss of one of them, though we've talked about losing each other. We truly love each other, platonically.

All I can say is that if you were one of his best friends, he must have known that you loved him like family or a brother. The title of "best friend" shows that, and if you four are as close as you say, he simply must have.

The end of this won't come quick, but you need to talk to your other two best friends. Even if it isn't about him, it will help, but you will need to eventually discuss the topic. Also, tell the other two how much you care about them whenever you separate for a long or short while; it could be a comfort.

For now, I'd suggest listening and/or singing (however badly or well) to music, crying, and sleeping.

Good luck with this; I can't imagine anything harder.

Answer 5

You well not forget the fact that your best friend died.But eventually the pain fades. It is not your fault that he died. I feel guilty that some one died. I well give her a different name to keep her privacy.Sookie once asked me to be her friend. I was in a sour mood that day so I said no. A couple months later her family was in a car crash. Everybody in her family survived but her.She died after being in a coma. I was only 11 so I didn't know what a coma was I thought it was big blanket that covers you and you wake up more stronger. I figures out was a coma was 4 years later. If I had said yes to Sookie maybe she wouldn't have been in the car when it crashed she could have been with me at my house safe.

Answer 6

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Everyone deals with a great loss at least just once in their life. It's a day by day commitment to gain your life back. When you go through such a loss the best thing is to stick with loved ones in your life as close at you can to help you get by. Sometimes you just need to cry and cry in your room even if it's for days and sometimes you just have to go out there and face life even if your miserable. But, always make sure there's loved ones around. If you're left alone for too long you might get worse.

When you come to a point when you're ready to talk to someone you might want to seek a counselor or a even just a close friend. Talk to your doctor to refer you to someone. The more you talk about him the easier it will be after a while. If you keep it bottled up it will explode. Trust me, I know.

Just whatever you do don't give up. Although **** happens in our life, it only makes us stronger and wiser as we get older, just remember that. It's just a part of life and with time and loved ones nearby you can get through it. Even if it takes a very long time, but you will.

Answer 7

Hey ***** weed has nothing to do with depression. You answered my question saying I'm a stupid *** who can't talk to girls, and you've never even kissed a girl lmao don't answer my Q's like that. Do your research my question is true.

Answer 8

i lost my best friend of 16 years when I was 21. I didn't know what the hell to do with myself. I woke up every morning thinking that i was just having a nightmare. I would call his cell phone and come to the grim realization that he wasn't there and never would be again. I'd leave a message anyway. I'd usually go out drinking with my friends to try and forget. i was even talked into using drugs. i broke up with my girlfriend and thought that going out every night partying was the right thing to do with my life... as if that was what he would have done if i were gone.

Thankfully i got some good advice. It was my girlfriend who i had left. she came to my house in the middle of the night. she asked me what i was doing. "nothing" i said. she said "i don't mean right now. i mean what are you going to do with you life? there are a lot of people in this world who care about you. i'm one of them. do you really think he would've wanted you to react this way? do you really think he would react this way if you had died?" I didn't really say anything. i made her leave. later that week it sunk in. i wasn't living the way he would have wanted me to or the way he would've had it been me. I made some drastic changes in my life but never forgot him... ever.

The point of my story is that losing someone hurts. it hurts bad. everything that you had planned in your life feels like it is futile and useless now that that person is gone. just remember one thing: you are still here; and I don't know what you believe in or if you believe in anything at all but it really doesn't matter. just know that you are still here and are here for a reason. You don't need to do what i did, but you need to continue on with your life just like he would've wanted you to. it's okay to grieve. it's okay to cry. it's natural. when you get over your grieving stage, try your best to constantly share your memories with those that knew him best. it really helps. tell stories often about him... how funny he was, how intelligent, etc. they will make you laugh and appreciate the times you were lucky enough to have spent with him. cherish those times because they really happened and no one can take them away from you.

good luck. depression is a vile disorder that can destroy lives. if you really need help, please go see a doctor or a counselor. you won't be considered crazy if you do. it can really help you if you need it. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Answer 9

i know exactly where you are coming from 2 years ago my sister died in a car accident and it was the worst thing ever...i wanted to die...but i couldn't bring my self to do it...i never tried...but i know how horrible it is...i listened to seize the day by avenged sevenfold cause it was played at the memorial service for krista.
i love her and miss her dearly but the best thing to do is get time alone...then some time with only your closest friends and family. life wont be the same from now on .. and it wont be easy to take it. just remember that...the last thing i said to my sister was no stop ******* asking...cause she wanted to borrow my earrings...and from that day on i pray every night apologizing....and telling her that if they ever turn up missing illl know they are with her. and that would make me feel better . there is not one night i don't think about her...i have alot of sissys things in my room for that purpose i even have her number saved in my cell phone still and i call it to hear her voice mail.. just to hear her voice soothes me.. about a week after the accident the detective brought a box of sissys things they found in the charred remains of the car and i keep those in my closet...just things like her lisence, coins, birth control, wallet stuff like that...and when i hear a noise i somehow link it to her...making that person seem like they are always there...is best. i remember one time when i was sleeping i heard the wind blowing and i thought it was her telling me something...so i started listening and what i heard didn't make since at first...but in the end what i heard was " ahh love you" and i know it was her... things have gotten a bit better but i stilll miss her soo much just hang in there babe we all care for you remember that...cause thats what you need right now is someone that cares.

Answer 10

It's hard for me to give you advice because one of my friends died last night from an asthma attack. 16 years old. Dead. From a stupid asthma attack. Right now I am just trying to pull myself through it. You just have to pull yourself through it, even though it will never be the same. Just think, would you really want to put everyone through this again? Give yourself some time. Happy Holidays!