2007-12-17 17:45:33 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Why are Husbands like mobiles ?
because you can recharge them whenever you like
2007-12-17 17:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by Rock Kills Kristy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie's lamp.
She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope ... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...what'll it be?"
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I wish for... a good mate."
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that f****n' map!"
2007-12-19 07:06:58 · answer #2 · answered by World Vision 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
2007-12-18 02:02:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
2007-12-18 03:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by p_a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A group of Moral Police in a desert accuse a woman of adultry. A man comes up to them and ties a boulder to the leg of one of the men with a ropea nd flings him out into the desert as he does he says ''whynot tie a stone to a sinner and cast both him and the stone.'' then he bowls them down and says '' A strike we have a sinner''.
2007-12-18 02:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by darren m 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Geography of a Woman
------------------------
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future (a bit like Tony Blair, maybe Blair's a women really).
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of a Man
------------------------
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a ****.
2007-12-18 01:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
A noted mathematician came to deliver a lecture on Life to students in a seminary.
When he invited questions at the end of his lecture, a student asked: "sir! how will you define the gils?'
Pat came the reply: "Complex Variables!"
2007-12-18 08:22:48 · answer #7 · answered by The Tribune 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problems with "HE" as thought by "SHE"
NOT A JOKE THOUGH....BUT QUITE FUNNY.....
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from VILLAGE.
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS .
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don't MAKE LOVE with him., he says u DON'T LOVE him;
If u DO!! He says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u DON'T, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAIN.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
2007-12-19 04:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by ISSSSHHHHHHHHH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.
Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
2007-12-18 03:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by kavya n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very real joke is... Why do you ask a lot questions at a time? It shows the girls' born behaviour...(Actually It is the answer for your question only)
2007-12-18 04:24:30 · answer #10 · answered by puladora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The three most basic forms of communication: telephone, telegram, tell a woman. Tell a man something and it goes in one ear and out the other. Tell a woman something and it goes in both her ears and out her mouth.
2007-12-18 01:50:56 · answer #11 · answered by Tut Uncommon 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋