M married w/kids. My husband Was unfaithful when I was pregnant w our 3rd child which lasted1 yr. It broke my heart w/I found out. I didn't want to just give up on my fam so I decided to try & work through it. it's been 4 yrs since all this happened.Things have not been the same since & I feel that we are drifting apart. My husband isn't meeting my needs & when I try to talk to him he suggest that we take time out for US but that never really happens. We'll do something once & that's it. Now, I find myself attracted to someone else. I think this person feels the same way but neither of us have done anything about it or said anything to the other. I don't want to follow through on my feelings he's also married. I think about this person all day & I'm afraid that something will happen. I try to stay away but this person is involved with my fam through 1of my kids. He's everything my husband used to be. I don't know what 2 do? I don't want to hurt anyone like my husband did me. SOS
2007-12-17 16:01:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Then don't do anything that can hurt somebody else as much as your husband hurt you.... if you don't love your husband the best is to divorce... after that if you decide to have a relationship it would be wise to have somebody who is not in a relationship already.... save your kids all the drama.
Good luck!
2007-12-17 16:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by BitterSweet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need intense counseling if you didn't get it before. Most marriages don't survive cheating without it.
You are also headed down a dangerous path out of your natural need to feel wanted and loved. If you don't want to hurt anyone then don't get caught up in the romance of this temptation. Two wrongs don't make a right.
REmember character is about what you do when no one is looking. Keep your character and push for counseling if you really want your marriage and husband back. If you don't, then finsh old business before you begin new. Don't get involved with someone else while you are married.
Remember you will be cheating your children out of your time because you will be trying to spend time with the other guy, and covering your tracks for hubby. They need you so much right now. You will hate who you will become and will regret those losses..
When tempted, pray , pray ,pray because with God all things are possible.
2007-12-18 00:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by sweetadolead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to hurt the other woman then stay away...this isn't fair nor does she deserve the pain that goes along with cheating...don't stoop to husbands level and cheat...plus you have kids to think about...maybe offer to seek marriage counselor with him and see what he says...when mine cheated he actually got the lady pregnant...and it took a very long time to heal...not to mention sex again..and not unprotected after the cheating...he like mine probably stills feels guilt and hasn't moved past what he did..which is where therapy can help...mine cheated 3 yrs ago...my son was only 3weeks old when I found out...he started during pregnancy...but I had to make a choice and decided to try and work it out...working it out doesn't mean to act like the problems and or cheating never happened and you just go day by day living..it takes committment..strength...and patience...sorry 4 writing the book...my story ended well...we are very happy now and our kids are very happy...I don't think I will ever trust 100%..however we're still in marriage counceling and she says I will...we'll see...good luck
2007-12-18 01:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by ~Jenny~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to hurt anyone the way your husband hurt you? Then don't. Two wrongs don't make a right. Another way to put that is: your husband's cheating didn't give you a 'free to have an affair' card that you could hold up your sleeve until you found someone worth wasting it on.
The guy's married. Well, big woop. If he's going to cheat, he's the skunk of the same stripe as your husband. Now, how does that make YOU feel?
2007-12-18 00:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we want what we shouldn't have.. but like you said you have to remember how you felt when he did that to you.. if your thinking of pursuing this person then maybe its time you take that break from your husband and maybe go your own ways. dont do what he did to you.. 2 wrongs wont make a right. also remember that someone new is only new for a while then they more then likely be that same way years up the road. once the new wears off hes still just a man. good luck
2007-12-18 00:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before starting anything, maybe you should try marriage counseling or divorce your husband. I know this is not as easy as it sounds, but the children are the ones that always suffer.
You really don't want to be a home wrecker either.
I have been in your shoes, don't want to be there again. It took years to forgive myself for some of the things I had done to try and find happiness.
I wish you much luck and happiness in whatever you decide.
2007-12-18 00:13:02 · answer #6 · answered by blueeyes_unever_4get 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well think about this whats the point in being married to some one that you dont love any more and you say you have feeling for some one else and your husband is not taking care of your needs .. i dont see nothing wrong with moving on but you might not wont to move on with a married man cause that not a good place to be in and if his wife find out thats hot water and people feelings get hurt and everything and its not good for your kids but just think before you act and i hope you and your family be okay :) god bless
2007-12-18 00:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you noticed your attraction to the other guy, did you know that your husband wasn't meeting your needs?
Take the other guy out of the picture completely and decide what you want to do about your marriage. Then do it.
Even if you leave your husband, he won't leave his wife, so that's why he can't be a part of your divorce decision.
.
2007-12-18 00:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the first mistake was to continue with your husband after he cheated. you are having feelings for somebody else because you don't feel happy in your relationship.
I don't think this new person is the answer for you but I do think that you should re-evaluate your relationship with your husband.
I don't blame you, how are you going to ever love and trust your husband again? I wish you good luck.
2007-12-18 00:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good on you for staying strong and staying away from this other man. If you are unhappy in your marriage you need to really talk to your husband, and if things can't be resolved then maybe it's time to separate. Don't pursue the other married man, as if he cheats with you, bear in mind he will more than likely cheat on you.
2007-12-18 00:09:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋