I have been with my husband for 6 years. We have had our ups and downs and everything in between. As of the past year we have really struggled to keep our marriage together. Things look good and then they go bad. Lately he has been staying out either all night or late into the morning. Sometimes he just leave and other he sneaks out. He even went as far as putting clothes in his car b4 i got home. He is a pretty laid back type of guy so that and all the dressing up has been strange. Anyway he is a great guy and provides for me and our family but something isnt right. The staying out and not answering the phone makes me think he is up to something. If he wants to be with someone else it would hurt but its better to get it out than have an affair. I love him but whats the use of all the heartache and pain. Someone please help.....
2007-12-17 15:45:36 · 12 answers · asked by simple 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he's sneaking out, putting a change of clothes in the car when he wouldn't usually care much, and he's staying out all night, its a fair bet that there is someone else.
Have it out with him and don't accept being fobbed off with non-answers, like "We'll talk about this later", or "What are you doing? Checking up on me?" or him resorting to attacking you to cover his guilt.
Wherever you go from there, at least you'll have the truth.
2007-12-17 15:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like u said in the last year it has been a real struggle. I think he is up to something and in a way wants to get caught. He isn't trying to be very secretive about it. You definately need to sit down with him and talk. Suggest a separation and see how he reacts to that. There is no use staying in a marriage without love or commitment. You never know, time apart may make both of you realize that u need help and really do want to make it work, but I think u have to separate yourselves to see if that is true. True love does not equal heartache and pain like u said.......do what is right for yourself.
2007-12-17 23:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you dont take this the wrong way but did the two of you consider going to church?
You would be surprised as to how going to church will pull your relationship together.
This Sunday morning make an agreement to try, dress in your finest attire and participate in Sunday Mass or Service.
In the event your children are old enough they can also participate.
However, it would be better if just the two of you performed the above; children can participate in the future.
Keep together while in church, if your husband should say something negative, tell him "If i cannot keep us together than maybe the Lord will"
I believe your husband will get the idea as to how important the marital bond is, he will notice how you have been suffering.
A lot of problems as you have mentioned are due to being somewhat immature.
The latter is actually very normal but it requires patience and time to conquer the obstacle.
I will include you in my prayers at Mass.
2007-12-18 00:01:59 · answer #3 · answered by Kazoo M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds funny all the things that you say he's doing an if your heart tells you something doesn't feel right then more than likely it's WRONG!!! Follow him or get someone to follow him see what he's doing!! I can't tell you to divorce him cause it's wrong but I can tell you do what you feel is right! If you aren't happy in your marriage then the best thing for you an your family is to leave! He doesn't show any concern for your feelings so don't spare his! He's probably got another girl lined up and you are gonna be the one hurt!Good Luck to you
2007-12-17 23:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by ajjsdj4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is working hard to keep a relationship outside the home than working hard to keep the one he has. Talk to him after you have followed him on one of his late night jaunts. Do it in a vehicle he doesn't recognize so he doesn't know it is you. Better yet, hire a private detective to find out the truth. A true provider provides food, shelter and emotional support for his family... not just monetary support.
2007-12-17 23:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something is going on with your husband.
Sit him down and explain that there will be a divorce in the near future if he doesn't agree to seek marriage counseling, get professional help, communicate, and compromise much better in the relationship. If he's willing to get help to save the marriage it shows he loves you and values the marriage.
If he refuses, he doesn't care, and in that case you should divorce him because he's not worth sticking around with when he will only continue his behavior.
2007-12-18 00:04:15 · answer #6 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The obvious changes show that he is cheating. Getting clothes and not coming home. Where do you think he is staying?Divorce. Even with help you won't trust him again.
2007-12-17 23:54:51 · answer #7 · answered by La Dee Da 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to be mean, but it sounds like he could be having an affair. Time to do some detective work.
2007-12-17 23:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by secretsecret16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he could be doing something.. for sure you know its something he dont want you to know about.. you need to when he does one of these see where hes going do some checking up on him.. if hes not doing anything wrong he shouldnt be mad about it if he catches you.. i would want to know for sure what hes up to before i made a decision on leaving him or working it out with him.. you need more info to make a big change. i hope hes not but it sure sounds funny to me also.. good luck
2007-12-18 00:02:45 · answer #9 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try talking to him and marriage counseling .. you definitely want something to confirm your suspicions before you do something you will regret.. BUT don't go looking for things or your bound to find something.. good luck
2007-12-17 23:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by kmd110685 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋