I caught my fiance talking to another guy and lying about it . What should i do?

Question

She had been recieving and sending an abnormal ammount of text messages. She assured me and swore to me that it was just a friend from work. I checked her phone and she had him hidden under a girls name. I called the number and he told me that she had told him they met online and that she was single. He went away and a couple months later the same thing happened again. I keep catching her. What should i do?

Answer 1

Murder the lying whore,you'll be out in 25 years,just in time to start dating another lying whore. (IDIOT,GET OVER IT)

Answer 2

First of all stop being Sherlock Holmes for a minute and ask yourself is there really stuff happening or are you so jealous and insecure that you go poking enough that she feels as if she has no privacy against you and may check out and split because you are choking her emotionally?

Love is a TWO-WAY STREET.

You haven't said anything about how it all got to be like this.

Women who fall in love to marry aren't usually players. They tell you when things aren't right for them too and if you don't listen well it sounds like they are plotting to you.

If she's going out on you it works the same way as if you go out on her...two people aren't communicating or the most likely thing is that one feels unable to give to what should be a working loving partnership. Somebody is LEFT OUT of this and is too scared to tell you. Maybe they believe you won't listen.

Some women DO need more, but the fact that she keeps going online should tell you that you aren't getting it or that you aren't comfortable with other men and are jealous and useless as a good lover.

Snooping around her phone and everything like you own her is poisonous--no wonder you are killing your love with an iron fist and you take all the hits.She's either waiting to lower the boom and take off or she really can't find the words to say.

If she IS a Player? Only she will decide when to stop playing. Do yourself the favor here. It doesn't sound like there is a relationship that can become a true marriage but you need to see a counselor and sort out your role as a lover and if you don't have problems to solve. You just might.

It's better to learn why that than keep asking every time you meet someone and especially to prevent losing what you have.

Answer 3

Cheating is cheating - regardless if it's an online "affair" or in living, breathing form. When I was young and stupid, I too did this type of thing - it's because I felt as if I wasn't being given the attention that I so deserved. Although my feelings were valid, I was looking for a quick fix for a lonely heart and wound up hurting everyone involved. Since your fiance is going to great lengths to hide this person's name, she is feeling guilty and obviously feels she has something to hide. Reassess your relationship with her and encourage her to do the same - be honest about your feelings, but refrain from name calling or being ugly to her. It may be a case of cold feet and she may feel suffocated by an impending wedding. Whatever the case, if the behavior continues, YOU must decide which path to choose - to go ahead and marry her and gamble at the chance that her cheating may turn into a physical affair and wind up in divorce later, or take the problem head on now and resolve your issues. Chances are, this isn't the first guy and won't be the last. Good luck.

Answer 4

As a married man and father, here is my input. I think your fiance feels insecure about himself. He is asking these questions because he wants to hear you say that he is better than any guy you have been with. Since he has never divulged information about his affairs it isn't fair for him to ask you. I would have a serious sit down chat with him and tell him that these questions are making you uncomfortable and that he needs to move past it. You did the right thing by telling him the truth before you were married but he took it like a child and is blaming you for the entire ordeal. Now he is making you feel bad for something that was entirely his fault to begin with. You need to tell him that he needs to "GROW UP". Otherwise if he doesn't this is the beginning of a long road for the both of you that is going to end in disaster. Good Luck

Answer 5

Hi there. I am sorry for yur predicament. It sounds heartwrenching. First, you must know in your own mind that you dont want to be engaged to one whom lies.Talk with her rationally, without raising voices.Both of you sit down.YOu must tell her you need to talk. Then proceed to tell her that it bothers you that she has lied to you.And it makes you uncomfortable that not only is she making so many texts but also that she is hiding this under an assumed name.
Let her know that you must resolve this issue now and state to her what you want.Ahead of time have your list of needs to be met written down so you wont draw a blank. If this girl really loves you she will want to please you and not go out on a tangent about her freedom or space. If she does this or refuses to honour your requests which are very understandable, she is not ready to get married. Its true what they say, love the person the way they are but dont expect them to change.If you cant live with dishonesty, do not marry her, she will not change,and believe me God has much beter plans for you my friend.I hope this has helped. J.M

Answer 6

She is not doing the right things which a fiance should do .. she is not being trustworthy.

Get your undesputable proof. Show it to her.

Then take an exit.

Let her think about this for awhile.

If you keep catching her .. then it is evident that she will do it over & over again .. plus - you don't know how far she may have really already gone. Why stay with a cheater?

You have choices.

Answer 7

Why do you put yourself threw this? There are plenty of girls out there and we are not all the same.Your Fiance is a cheater....Dont sell your self short,and dont buy into the line where she says she will never so it again,she only used that line cause you caught her......
Think about it some day this cheater will be your wife if you dont put a stop to this now....

Answer 8

I can seriously tell you that i have never cheated on my partner ever in my whole life. However i have had the it done to me and it was one of the hardest times i endured in my life. Being lyed to really hurts and i would let anyone do that to me again. Just leave man, getting married is a huge decision and you don't deserve this.

Answer 9

i am going to be honest with you I went through this same **** with my current fiance and i tell you what. It was a girl from work.... I hit the MFing roof and said why the F*ck are you messaging this girl and he was like its just a friend blah f*cking blah.... BULLSHIT! I said they why haven't I met her. then his dad was put in the hospital the very same one they worked at... and I asked to meet her and he wouldn't entroduce me because I was sick... So I Went off the wall and simply explained to him... if shes some chick from work then she need not be texting you at work or at home or calling you, and if you don't have enough respect for me to have me meet her prior to trying to start a friendship with a woman you wont let me meet then we're gonna have problems. She sent him a message one night while he was sick.... 10 minutes after he was supose to leave for work asking you coming in tonight... and I hit the roof he told me he had stopped.. I made him quit his job. just laid it out me or her.

Answer 10

I think you should be sure that she can stay loyal to you before you two get married.

Right now it sounds like she is definitely interested in this guy and she's worried about you finding out about him. Why else would she put his name under a girl's name and lie about it? And if she told the guy that she's single, that's really alarming.

You need to talk with her and have her explain herself. Be sure that you can trust her enough to marry her! Make sure she knows what she wants, because it sounds like she has no idea right now.

Answer 11

Well don't get married. Talk open and honestly with her about her feelings about being married to you. Seek out couples counseling if you need a third party to help figure this out. Frankly, if you aren't the only man she sees when she opens her eyes, then you need to end the engagement and move on.