My father raised 4 kids as a single dad and his youngest daughter is out of control. He has heart problems and because of the stress she causes him, he keeps going in & out of the hospital. She has told him "I hate you, I want you to die" My dad has asked me for help, but I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thank you
2007-12-17 14:20:37 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My hubby and i have thought of having her live with us to see if it helps, but we don't know if that would work. Also, she is not the cause of his heart problems but her actions to other family members and to him do not help his health.
2007-12-17 14:35:30 · update #1
Can you take her to live with you on the condition that she follow your rules? Or, call the local juvenile detention center and arrange for her to take a tour. Send her to boot camp or call the Maury show! All kidding aside, if she's truly that bad, it's more detrimental for her to be living with him (for the sake of his health) than it is for her to be elsewhere. Maybe take her to see a therapist and if things don't improve, she needs to be removed from the situation.
2007-12-17 14:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How old are you? Maybe you could take her off his hands for a bit. Or maybe just talk to her and tell how it's going to be,and if she doesn't like it oh well. She is the child and has no choice but to listen. Make a point to tell her that you will never forgive her if she is a part of his health problems again. Tell her how disappointed her mother would be if she could see her and what she's doing to your family. I hope it gets easier for you and best wishes for your father's health. Good luck!
2007-12-17 14:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by oohmuhgah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, hitting a child is illegal so this is going to be tough. Try talking to her to make her see how much damage she is doing and nothing good will come out of your dad getting a heart attack. If that doesn't work, then take away all her luxuries, ground her, and have her do some of the work around the house to see how hard it is to raise a kid. You might want to try some family counseling, too.
2007-12-17 14:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by h1u4sxda 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Teenagers at this age have a hard time figuring out how they really feel about anything, yet they know everything. As her big sister or brother, spend more quality time with her. Give her days where it's just you and her. Make her feel special.
Is there someone older, in good standing, that she really admires? If so, see if that person can be a steady mentor to her.
Does she like recreational sports...softball maybe?
Lastly, she might need to talk to someone professionally as well. All my best to her.
2007-12-17 14:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by ageless 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, do not move her into your home unless you want a divorce. I was in that same situation years ago, and me and my hubby were always arguing about it. That little girl needs a reality check. How about shipping her off to Job Corp. they take kids and turn them around. She might learn something from that experience and I say if she doesnt, then there comes a time when you gotta let go. I refuse to let my kids kill me.
2007-12-17 14:47:23 · answer #5 · answered by Maris A 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please dont tell her she is killing your dad. The reason I say dont tell her is because SHE ALREADY KNOWS THAT. Most kids watch tv and are on the net. They know what stress does to the human body. The reason I would not tell her is because she does not have any empathy already.........do you really want to see lack of empathy in its rawest form? Imagine her screaming back to you "I dont give a f*&% ...let his old a s s die." You would want to stomp her until the white meat was hanging out of her skull "Not "reminding" her is for your peace of mind....and to keep you out of prison for killing her.
Mind you she is 15 hormonal and prolly stressed out herself. Before you choke her too death........take a deep breath and devise a plan to give your daddy a rest from her DRAMA. If there are 4 of yall......and if everyone has their own house......grit up and have her spend one night a weekend with each sibling. One night a weekend of peace for your Dad will surely help him out.
She needs to be evaluated. Take her to her pediatrician first to rule out any medical issues. Then she needs to go see an adolescent shrink. She is very very angry about something and it is just coming out wrong. To keep from beating her too death out of fustration. You and your whole family need to help your dad out with this lovely piece of work.
If it comes to light during her psych eval that she really does have a mental disorder. Do your homework........ask lots of questions and trust the process.
I hope I made you laugh and made you feel like you are not alone............
Signed,
The parent of two girls who also get on my last nerve
2007-12-18 03:02:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the other posters, that it is time for a belt spanking. hard discipline is necessary before she does something to permanently screw up her life, plus your dad does not need the abuse. As the older sister, beat that butt till it's bright red and she needs to sit on a pillow for a couple of days.
2007-12-18 03:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by sugarpie2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am know this is not a good thing to do but you need to put her in check or line tell her she lives with your father so she lives under his rules .
Military camp might help but that might worsen the situation
Move her in with another family member if they don't mind
Or you could do the method that usually works hit her
2007-12-17 14:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by Xue 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Send her to a tough camp like Outward Bound.
2007-12-17 14:23:06 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You said that its because of the stress SHE caused him. Do you guys tell her its her fault?!? Because it probably isn't. Your making the poor dear feel terrible if you blame her for your father's heart problems. That is why she's acting out. She feels everything is her fault and that her family dosen't love her.
2007-12-17 14:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by Little Miss Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋