I will try to keep this as short as I can. I have a really good friend who has helped me out a lot through some tough times. One night there was a party at his house. It was dying down and I was trying to find the 2 people that I gave a ride over there (1 male and 1 female). I found the guy and he said he would be outside smoking. I kept looking for the girl and heard her voice coming from the bathroom. I could tell she was crying so I listned at the door. Basically I could tell that sex was going on in there from the noise and I could hear her say "no, I need to go" a couple times. So I knocked on the door and asked if everyone was ok and she told me she would be right out. She came out and she was crying and latched onto me. I could barely get her to let go so she could get in my car. She said she does not want to say anything because people will say it was her fault since she was drinking so I didnt report it right away, but now my consience is killing me. What should I do?
2007-12-17 13:30:19 · 16 answers · asked by Slade Coccyx 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Honestly we all try to give our best opinons on this forum but you should call a rape crisis center on this one. They have people that are trained to deal with this kind of terrible situation. I have to say to your credit that you are truly trying to do the right thing and i would whole-heartedly encourage you to continue. If this guy did in fact rape this poor girl, chances are, he could do it again. You've got to think how you would feel if you could have prevented that from happening but didn't. I know this must be terrible and you must feel like sh*t, but remember you haven't done anything wrong here. He's the a**h*le! Talk to professionals anoymously, they will give you good advice.
2007-12-17 13:47:06 · answer #1 · answered by koikoiboi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't beat yourself up over this as some here are suggesting, you were shocked and thrown into a new situation to you, and naturally am confused. You sound like a great friend.
I think talking to the rape crisis center is a good idea. Then get some numbers from them, and go to your friend and encourage her gently with what you've found so she can make decisions from a more informed place. Then tell her that you will back her all the way.
But don't go if she doesn't want to. Emotional rape is rape too, and forcing her to go through all the questioning, court stuff and all, is being a bully, too. So respect her wishes, even if you don't agree with them. She also could have an alcohol problem, and you might want to talk about that, too.
And for your friend, he too could have a drinking problem. Tell him what you heard. And if he doesn't want to get help, or says she asked for it, etc., then lose him and get better friends.
2007-12-17 23:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Minerva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the girl involved. If she wants to move forward with contacting law enforcement - let her know that you will support her and testify as well.
Either way - contact your local rape crisis clinic. They may be able to give you advice on how to best help the girl involved or what to do.
Even if the girl does not go to the police - the local rape crisis clinic will be able to provider her counseling services. If she goes to the police - they will have a victim's advocate work through the process with her.
No Means No - even if you have been drinking.
2007-12-17 21:48:50 · answer #3 · answered by Boots 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's an adult, talk to her. Ask her what SHE wants to do. Make sure she knows that if SHE wants to proceed, you'll back her up.
If she doesn't want to, respect her wishes.
If she's a minor, call the cops. In MANY States it is now (Since the David Cash / Sherrice Iverson case) a FELONY not to report a sex crime against a minor.
Richard
2007-12-17 21:46:53 · answer #4 · answered by rickinnocal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a really tough question because if she doesn't want to pursue it the police can't do anything but if she is willing to go to the cops, you bet, you tell on the guy. No guy that would rape any woman should ever be considered your friend any longer. Drop the jerk from your friends list quickly.
2007-12-17 21:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by cmdrbnd007 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont care how drunk she was....if she said no then it was not her fault....try to get her to understand this......she should report this because without her the authorities will probably not do any more with the report than put it in the nearest trash can...the best you can do is offer to go with her and try to get her to report this....
2007-12-17 21:39:28 · answer #6 · answered by vi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one. How old is she? If she denies it not much you can do about it.
If she is under age I'd tell her parents so she can get some therapy. And advise her to get therapy if over 18.
Best you can do is inquire at your local police station and see what they say.
2007-12-17 21:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was drinking, that doesn't make her at fault. It was still a crime. You had better report it, since she has been made to feel she shouldn't. You know it was rape, and if you are still friends with this guy you are an accomplice to his crime.
2007-12-17 21:38:28 · answer #8 · answered by RE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
friend or no friend he needs to be reported. if not he'll think he's gotten away with it and most likely "will" or "have" done it again. Suppose it was you sister, mother cousin or friend. how would you feel. would you report it then? and if you don't then do it anonymous or explain to the girl that she really needs to tell and see counseling.
2007-12-17 21:44:54 · answer #9 · answered by mandisa222 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would'nt even blink an eye. I would turn him in so fast! He'll probually do this to someone else. The drinking part does not matter. No means No and that's that!
2007-12-17 21:41:12 · answer #10 · answered by kita 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋