Dealing with VERY Unsupportive Parents and Admin.?

Question

I'm a first grade teacher in my first year of teaching. How am I supposed to handle parents who pick up their children WAY too late and expect me to offer free tutoring services daily to their students after school...yet will not even read the directions on their kids' homework? I'm fed up! Many of my students have so much potential, but I can't save them all! I spend my evenings and weekends coming up with interventions for my struggling students. I give the parents books, flash cards, etc...materials I've paid with out of my own pocket! I make it very clear what I expect of each student, yet I still get ungrateful parents wondering why their kids got low grades on their report cards! Administration is very unsupportive and sends me trouble-making kids from other grade levels and first grade classes to "babysit," even though my classroom is maxed out and I don't have enough supplies. I've already spent over 2000 dollars and will not be reimbursed! I enjoy teaching but this is WRONG!

Answer 1

Taking the time to talk to another more experienced teacher is an excellent idea. I know what you are going through must be frustating. The best advice that I ever got from a colleague though, was to focus only on the variables which you can control. First and foremost you have to ask yourself whether or not you are willing to keep forking over so much cash for materials for your students. If so, that is your choice, but then you have to do it with a generous heart and not allow it to upset you. If you feel that having to spend over $2000.00 seems wrong when parents will not put forth effor to assist their children, then stop doing it. Even if it's hard-and I know sometimes it can be. Think of alternatives though. Maybe what you could do it send a handout home explain what types of supplies parents might be able to make or buy themselves.

Keep your gradebook transparent, if it's not already. Also keep the lines of communication open with parents. Notify them of the issues that are affecting their child's progress as they arise. Then, when their students have low scores, simply reference all of the communication/documentation that you have laready informed them of. One thing to remember is that you will probably always have some parents that will complain when their students have low scores despite what you have done. You have to try your best to focus only on the things which you can control. As educators we always want to help our students. We do not want to see a student fall behind because their parent is too busy, lazy, overwhelmed etc. to help their child. I understand this well; however, you have to take care to you so that you can walk into the classroom refreshed each day and be ready to give it your all. It may seem a bit cold hearted, but if you do not set some boundaries early on you will find that this already challenging, overhwhelming carreer will become so burdonsome that you may start to experience burn-out. I commend and admire you for being willing to give so much for your students. Be polite, and in a way that you are comfortable, set some boundaries. Tell your administrators what time you will be leaving and ask them where the late pick-ups should be escorted. Call parents and say it's 3:05-or whatever time it is and politely notiy them that their child will be at the main office, or at the designated afterschool care site. Hang in there; do not let people take advantage of your kindness. I sure hope you are able to chat with someone at your school who can give you some ideas.

Answer 2

Welcome to my world baby. Unfortunately, this is the this country is many cities across this great Nation. Makes you feel reeeaal good about the No Child Left Behind Law. A few suggestions
1.) Instead of spending the money on classroom materials, have you thought about writing a monthly or biweekly newsletter, offering these materials to parents to get for their children.

2.) Start a classroom website? Schoolnotes.com, and scholastic.com are awesome. They are easy to set up, they walk you through the process to help you as well. You can download articles etc, right from your computer onto the website and make them available to parents. I copy and paste a lot of articles to a Word program, and download them to the websites.

3.) Give parents pointers on what they can do to help.

4.) Evaluate your process, is it working? If not, then adjust the process. Maybe you are trying to cover too much too quickly. Maybe you are not clear enough in your presentations. Whenever I have issues, I always look at myself first, and evaluate my process, and make any changes that I think will build support or improve the educational process.

5.) Keep records of how the students are really performing, and their improvement. This will help you in your presentations. Are the students engaged, are you explaining things two or three different ways. Many times the kids are afraid of asking questions.

Always evaluate, and assess your needs. This is constant. I hate to be stereotypical, but I see this over and over again. Economically challenged areas, are more difficult to get parental involvement because the parents are always working in order to provide the basic essentials (food, water, and shelter). It takes a village to raise a child, Hillary had it correct. However, we need to evaluate ourselves first to make sure we can't do it better, so that it makes things easier for the parents to help as well. Plus when they see how hard you are trying (and this isn't just before and after school), they will support you.

Lastly, when parents don't show up for a long time after their child is suppose to be picked up, this is a district issue. Talk to your administrators and/or school board members to see if there is any policy regarding this. There have been times when I have waited well over 2 hrs. for parents to pick up kids. We now have a policy in place that the student will be picked up by the police, and the parents need to pick their child up at the police station. The police have a policy too. 2 times in one semester, and they are fined (pretty hefty one too) for not providing basic care to their children. (It's not neglect, until the 4th time in a year.) Especially the younger grades it's irresponsibility on the parents part. You are an educator, not a free babysitter.

Answer 3

I am not a teacher but I some opinions on this. First off they give you the troubled children because you must be doing something right. First suggestion, stop paying for supplies out of your pocket. Keep it up and you will never get out from under. The big thing to keep in mind is that you are never going to be able to reach all of them. Review your records and concentrate on the ones who have a chance while continuing to try to urge the others to pay attention and learn. No offense is intended here but your own unions are a large part of the problem. Parents for the most part won't support you as you would like. In my days in school they did but no longer. Sign of the times, every one is too busy. You can only do what you can do. If you stay in the profession you will be tried and tested scores of times and you will find yourself discouraged even more. Stick with it or quit. But ask yourself this, 'Can you be of some help to at least a few of them?'. Okay that's the end of my useless and inane advice.

Answer 4

Find another teaching position, only this time, you interview for yourself! I totally understand what you describe here. If the administration will not help you, then you must either instigate changes in the administration or find yourself a position that is appreciative of what you try to do. They probably send you the incorrigibles because you CAN handle them and nobody else can. The second year is easier. Don't give up!

Answer 5

I don't have any teaching experience. Is there a teacher at the school that has been teaching for awhile or a mentor that you could talk to. I am sure it's something that all caring teachers go through. Talk to other teacher who have taught for several years and see how they dealt with it

Answer 6

So glad to read you.

I feel so proud living in a world with wonderful people like you.

Bravo. (Brava !)

Answer 7

don't give up,
hope you have a wonderful
MERRY CHRISTMAS !!