ok so here's the deal...i LOVE my husband don't get me wrong but i'm seriously getting tired of feeling like i'm just a shadow in his life...i talk to him about my day or even ask him something and he completely ignores me..if something makes him mad..even something small like him having a cold, he takes it out on me...when we run into guys he works with he ignores me, won't introduce me or anything...he acts like a total jerk to people i work with but if i went into his job and treated people the way he does that would be a huge fight...like tonight it's his companies christmas party and where am i at? at home because that means i would have meet people and their families...a mutual friend came into today where i work and noticed i've lost weight and commented about it..i don't even get a compliment from my husband... i swear i feel like myself and my kids are some deep hidden secret he doesn't want anyone to know about...i don't know what to do...
2007-12-17 11:51:39 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ Infantry Wife ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's 27..i'm 33(but don't look like it)...i have 2 teenage kids..
2007-12-17 11:58:21 · update #1
Have you tried discussing this with him? Or if so, does he get angry with you? If he does I would suggest giving him a subtle dose of his own medicine. I'm not saying to be mean, just ignore him a little bit when he ignores you. Try walking away if you are all out and he sees someone he works with and refuses to introduce you. You seem to be an intelligent and lively woman, you do not need to allow someone to make you feel this way. If he will not talk to you about how he is making you feel, try showing him by treating him the same way here and there. Don't make it obvious or seem vindictive, just very subtle. I hope things work out for you both:)
2007-12-17 12:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has you trained. What he is doing to you is bordering on abuse. Whether you realize it or not. If you had a friend that treated you that way, I bet it wouldn't be long before your wrote them out of your life. He obviously does not respect you. Any person that loves you would be proud of you. They would want to spend time with you, want you to meet their friends. I wouldn't be surprised if he was cheating on you also. You deserve so much better than what you have. Remember your children are learning about relationships by watching yours. Is this the type of marriage you would want for your child? Then why should you put up with it? Don't let him convince you that there is something wrong with you. He is the one with the problem. Life and love can be so much more. Don't fool yourself. You are worth it and there is someone out there that will appreciate you for who you are. No matter how hard you think it is to do something about your situation, do you think living as you have been will be any easier? Take your life back. It's yours not his. Life is too short to be unhappy. My prayers are with you. God bless.
2007-12-17 12:17:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had a Christmas party to go to. Your husband might be stressed out big time. All the responsibilities of a father and a husband. Like making sure the bills are paid and making sure all the presents are bought etc. Whenever we go to a place where his friends are and I'm not introduced, I introduce myself. Why? Usually you become such in suches wife. So, in the beginning I introduce myself with my name. That helps to break the ice. Good Luck!.
2007-12-17 12:10:43 · answer #3 · answered by colojeanette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, I'm starting to feel like your experience is the norm. My husband comes home and gives the cats a kiss, but ignores me. Sure, he'll enjoy the nice dinner I made and the clean house.... (we both work full time, too.). I get ignored, the sex is either non-existent or bad. He isn't nice to me, not mean either. I feel ignored, under-valued, and it affects my self-esteem.
So, screw him. You go out and do your thing and ignore him right back. When he calls you for something, mention how busy you are. When I get especially frustrated with him, I just make sure I'm really busy. Then when he calls me and asks me to do something for him, I tell him I can't. That gets his attention and puts him in the position of begging.
2007-12-17 11:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yikes- this sounds complicated. Usually men are more than willing to "show off" their significant others. I wonder if he has something to hide at work and he doesn't want YOU to find out about it. I hate to say this, but maybe he is having an office affair?
If he is ignoring you at home, by yourselves.... something just isn't right. It is normal for some men to go into "blank shock" when their wives talk, but the majority of the time they are paying attention and at least answering some of the questions.
2007-12-17 11:57:59 · answer #5 · answered by Just Tryin' to Help 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't you go to his Christmas party with him? Or was it employees only? I think you need to sit him down & firmly ask him what the h*** he wants from this marriage. His ignoring you is totally inexcusable. Either he wants to stay married or not. It sounds like he wants out but you need to talk to him right now. If he doesn't want you anymore you shouldn't be wasting your life with him. Good luck.
2007-12-17 12:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to marriage and reality. Here are the facts of life you obviously haven't learned yet:
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to
hear the truth. You can ask me anything. I don't lie unlike
the other answers you will get.
2007-12-17 13:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Some men don't take pride in their family. It's not that he is bad or mean, but some of them are just like this. Maybe something is bothering him. Try and have a good talk. Perhaps it will help. If not, seek your friends and some counseling if you need. Just don't take it on your children. Good luck, and please, don't look down on yourself.
2007-12-17 12:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by SASA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he has someone else on the side that his work knows about.. maybe he didn't introduce you and later when he went to work told the people you met that you were his sister.. you never know men can be quite decieving.... good luck hun km
2007-12-17 11:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him a taste of his own medicine. Leave and ignore him.
2007-12-17 11:58:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋