Most of what my boyfriend and I do is argue, and I can tell that he doesn't love me as much as he used to, and he says that's my fault.. that I don't appreciate him being nice. He says that he dreadsd my phone calls because all I do is ***** which isn't true, I can be whiny sometimes I'll admit, but I don't ***** him out ever. And I do truly love him, but it doesn't feel like he loves me, and he goes on about how he needs some space, and he feels like I'm psycho and obsessed with him. Honestly I just care for him, I'm not like calling non-stop or showing up randomly at his house or anything like that at all. But like when we talk about breaking up, he goes on about how he doesn't want to do that, and he does truly love me so much. If he wants space and I just annoy him why wouldn't he just break up with me? And he's not cheating on me I'm 100% sure of that because he wouldn't do that.
2007-12-17 09:36:39 · 30 answers · asked by Consultant 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think it's because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings because he's said some pretty hurtful things lately. And if I'm the one that brings it up, he doesn't want that at all, and tells me that he does truly love me and wants us to work.
2007-12-17 09:40:25 · update #1
He tells me that he doesn't ever see himself moving on and that he won't ever get over me.
2007-12-17 09:55:00 · update #2
Sometimes space does help, if you see each other very often you lose things to talk about. Also try something new to do as an activity.
Worst case scenario, go on a break, it sometimes backfires and is a major risk, but if you two both truly love each other you'll come back to each other at the end of it. You never know what you have until its gone.
2007-12-17 09:40:20 · answer #1 · answered by HL2k 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is probably not sure how he feels about you. and doesnt want to be a bad guy. also, he probably doesnt have other prospects. once he has another source of sex, he will dump you then.
if you are arguing that much. you need to spend a little time apart. and than make a change up in the relationship. maybe try out some new restaurants. sometimes a relationship gets into a rythmic rut. and you just are busy with life and don't know it and become irratated.
tell him you want to separate. and then give it some time. resist the when he cant stand being rejected phase.
then you can discuss it like adults and see if you want to start all over. and then make sure you do different things, or you will back in the same ole routine and then you will start arguing. people in relationships need to grow together. but its hard to grow, if its repetition repetition
good luck.
2007-12-17 18:07:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this- if things are this bad, why do YOU want to be with HIM? If "most of what you do is argue," then it's time to rethink this relationship. You are not happy, but you are clinging to this relationship because it's easier to stay than it is to face the unknown.
It's a long life. Don't settle for a relationship like this, when there could be someone out there who will rarely fight with you and who will mostly make you happy. At the very least, take a break from this guy- and that means not being friends, not talking, not texting- a clean break, for at least a few months. Then see how you both feel.
Good luck.
2007-12-17 17:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its all mind games. You just to be strong within yourself and sorry to say, play the game too. Act like you don't need him and he will wonder what is going on. To be honest with you, it sounds like it may have to do with some maturity issues on his part. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't say you annoy him whenever you call, etc. My honest opinion, he may be cheating on you. I've been in the same predicament. Also a word of advice, learn to love yourself before loving someone else. This guy probably doesn't realize what he has until you give him a reality check.
2007-12-17 17:47:35 · answer #4 · answered by ginluvsrob06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely he is conflicted. He is probably hoping he can have you but only on his terms and when he is in the mood. unfortunately to be with someone means being with them a decent amount normally. if he finds you annoying now trust me 1 yr from now will not be much better. I would ask for a break and say look lets try to rediscover what we like in each other and go from there. This will likely be the only way you guys can be together happily. Good luck and remember this too shall pass.
2007-12-17 17:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by cinnamontwoyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl I was dealing with a similar situation with my boyfriend-everyday he cussed me out ussually having something to do with how childish I am, or how I irritate him or how I am spoiled...and I am thinking, dude if I annoy you so much why are you with me....but whenever I brought that up he would say-"noooo thats not what I want, I am in this now so I am going to have to deal with it-I want to be with you" Its like why?
But I know that we have such a commitment to each other and we are both in this for better or worse-and I know thats how he feels.....so the way I dealt with him always flipping out on me is I talked to him. I told him how he was pushing me away and hurting me when he is always so hard on me and sometimes just plain disrespectful-every now and again he has flair ups but its better....
If you two truly love one another then you gotta learn how to communicate better-and let him know how it makes you feel when he attacks your character.
2007-12-17 17:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you. He just said it. Everyone goes through some rough patches. Working it out is the answer,if he or both of you want to save the relationship! Happy Holidays to you and everyone!
2007-12-17 19:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by dvl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bf's the same way sometimes, he says that i'm this and that. And i ask him, "if i'm so bad, why don't you just leave me?" he says that he loves me and he wont leave me. i don't understand. but it feels like he has a need to put me down sometimes, weird as it seems. i think eventually i'll get tired of him saying that and brake it off with him for good. it gets annoying after a while.
when you figure it out let me know
2007-12-17 17:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably wants to seperate to see how things are without you...
And probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
Most of the times the person who wants out of a relationship, wants to feel like they were justified or the "good guy" in it... And so they'll wait for you to break the ties.
2007-12-17 17:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by Solace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just dump him? All you do is argue and you think he doesn't love you as much anymore, do you really need that kind of relationship?
He's trying to guilt you into staying with him, he likes having a "punching bag" around, and knows what to say to keep it. Drop him, you don't need it and he doesn't deserve it.
2007-12-17 17:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋