MY dh is being deployed and I am moving in with my mom so I can have some help when I have m twins. Well my mother inlaw is sooo mad about that, she tried talking m husband out of us moving even though we cant really afford this place and I will have someone with me 24/7 just in case something happens. She may not even come down to see her first grandbabies because of it. It is stupid. My hubby is also in a lot of debt so this would give us the chance to get out of it. She was going on nd on about how we should not move and how she would not get the same quality time with the grandbabies when she come down. give me a break lady. she just makes me so mad.
2007-12-17 08:39:39 · 9 answers · asked by oes 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well she wont call me or talk to me really, my hubby had a talk with her about it and she was like oh ill call you in like two days and that was a week and a half ago. she lives 1000 miles away so se cant really go to appointments and my parents even offered for them to stay at their house while htey visit.
2007-12-17 10:08:43 · update #1
dicide what is best for you and your babies, and don't let anyone else be selfish enough to put their own concerns brfore the safety of your babies
2007-12-17 08:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel frustrated and mad! I would be to. A possible solution would be to find a way that your MIL can contribute so that she feels important. I think she is acting out because she feels that maybe you overlooked her and what she can contribute. Maybe you can allot a certain amount of time during your pregnancy to spend with her. Can she go to some of your appts? Or maybe you can assign her specific tasks only for her so she feels she is included and equally important. You don't mention a jaded past with her, so I think she just feels left out. You ultimately must do what is best for you though. Good luck and I hope I helped give a possible solution!
EDIT: I am so sorry to hear how insensitive she is being. I think that the best thing to do is to cut her off completely. If she wants to come around, then it's up to you to let her or not. I will give her a good swift kick in the pants for you!
2007-12-17 17:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by Karston's Mom - 7/7/08! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*hugs* I'm sorry to hear about the stress your mil is putting both of you under, especially at such a trying time.
I'm sure you both have tried to explain it to her till you were blue in the face and now she is going to have to accept it.
I think maybe as a goodwill gesture is mention about doing a baby's day out with just her and you and the twins? Maybe like a once a month type deal, it might make her feel special.
I understand the tension, my mother is VERY protective over my son to the point where she even wore a "best grandma" button to my baby shower and my late mil was there. It isn't easy but my late mil understood what I was going through with my own mother and she took it in stride.
If she is going to be stubborn and threaten about not seeing her grandchildren, then she is the one who is going to suffer for it. She isn't going to see how wonderful they are nor will they get to bond with her like they have/will with all of you. Really, it's her loss.
2007-12-17 16:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Twins are a lot of work. Go with your mom. If the other grandmother can't understand shes being selfish... Its not your job to feel bad. Have you babies, live with your mother and enjoy the help. Leave the other grandmother an invitation to come by if she wishes.
2007-12-17 16:56:08 · answer #4 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about that. But you are right moving to have help with the babies and to help get you out of debt is a good idea. Your mother n law needs to understand that. She will come to terms with it sooner or later. Good luck girl
2007-12-17 16:44:44 · answer #5 · answered by PG with #3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, when I moved in with my inlaws my mother was the same way, but she came around. She still doesn't like the fact that we live with them, but she's getting over it and comeing over to visit.
2007-12-17 16:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Lovemykids 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she needs to take that stick out of her *** & realise this isnt about her!! u go ahead and do as u please, if she gets upset & doesnt want to be a part of it then irs her loss & better for u! Last thing u need is to worry about someone elses selfishness. I cant stand my MIL either!
2007-12-17 16:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lils 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good to vent. I'm luck I love my mother-in-law, but no one can replace or outdo my mom. Good luck!
2007-12-17 16:43:27 · answer #8 · answered by Precious 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and babies are number one. If she wantes to be childish about it, let her be. Don't worry yourself about it. Not worth the undue stress.
2007-12-17 16:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by dizzylilsailor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋