OK so I have been married a little over a month now...great marriage but its the holidays and Im really missing home..
I live in Utah moved from Ohio...so family is like forever away. So lately Im a mess....crying over nothing! Literally, Husband can say something joking and I take it serious and cry...all i do is cry and sleep. I dont want to eat I don't want to be touched I don't want anything. Well all this crazy crap thats going on is hurting us...last night he couldn't handle my crying and wanted to sleep on the couch!
I don't know whats wrong with me. Im not on any medications so it can't be side effects...Im kinda homesick but not a ton. I just saw everyone at the wedding! But I want to know whats wrong and do whatever I can to fix it....we would never get a divorce but after him wanting to sleep on the couch i realized something is really wrong with me and I need to find out soon!
Serious answers please....
Thanks
2007-12-17 07:39:18 · 23 answers · asked by Mandy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no way that Im pregnant....
Im wanting to find something that isn't meds to deal with this....I don't want to be on medications with things that I can learn to handle...I just don't know how to handle things right now....
I didn't get married to soon! Im very much in love and wouldn't change a thing...
Im just always crying and upset....that doesn't mean I didn't know what I was doing!
2007-12-17 07:57:03 · update #1
Oh and Im 22...so i don't think Im to young to be married...but thats just my thought!
We would never get a divorce we don't believe in it...
2007-12-17 07:58:17 · update #2
Honey! It's normal you just have to explain to him that this is a big change for you and your trying to handle this. Say honey please be there for me I am going through something right now and it's not that I don't love you I'm just very emotional right now and I don't want you to feel as if I'm not happy or anything i'm just adjusting. If this hurts your marriage then that is just silly your emotions are getting the best of you and it's the Holidays. You have probably been with your family around this time and this is all new to you take your time honey you will adjust. Explain this to him he loves you and will totally understand.
Good Luck! I'm here to chat if your lonely
2007-12-17 07:46:41 · answer #1 · answered by Debbie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are homesick, and depressed. Lots of people get depressed over the holidays. VERY NORMAL.
Lots of newly-weds get depressed. Here's why:
little girls grow up dreaming of the princess castle, the handsome loving prince and life is a piece of cake forever-or similar Disney magic-even dishes will be magically wonderful to do. If you waited for any time at all to get married, or have a wedding, or buy a house, you could be saying
This is wonderful (is this IT?)
He is so kind. (Why can't he hit the hamper with his socks?)Our dishes are so beautiful (Do I have MAID written on my forehead?)
I remember fondly our wedding (who is that babe behind Janet?)
It is sorta like waiting for Xmas, wanting a pony more than life itself, getting a pony, YEAH, and now someone has to clean the stall. (buyer's remorse, sorta.)
It can be devastating to witness a dream that isn't all it was dreamed up to be. Dreams are like that. It is STILL a good idea to dream, just realize they are imaginary. YOU make them true.
Human beings, and especially men, are notorious for being goobers when it comes to feelings, mixed emotions, homesickness, and feelings of elation and sadness that almost always follow a BIG EVENT.
You are normal. You are homesick. Call your family.
Try to eat, even a little, stay out of the booze, go for a long walk every day, take a nap. Give husband and self bubble-baths. Brush your hair a lot. (all self-soothing.)
If you will DO ANYTHING to fix this: Do this-eat, exercise, call friends and family, DO not let him sleep on the couch. Let him comfort you. Not necessarily sex, but cuddling and friendship. You married him, you must like him some-don't push him away when you are upset-let him in-this is how people grow old together.
If you do all this and a week from now feel the same way, go to a doctor and tell her your situation. She will tell you the same thing, and Give you a tiny little pill to help you stop crying all the time. Help you to concentrate. Think straight .
Try to reach out to others, really. Less fortunate people by the millions are looking for people to help them, a meal, a blanket, toys for their kids. Go to a senior center and write letters. Anything.
It really will make you feel better to help someone else.
Happy Holidays.
2007-12-17 08:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not alone. Many husbands and wives have feelings like this after getting married, especially if they're far from home. The holiday season just makes it worse. So don't go thinking you're losing your mind or on the path to divorce.
My advice is to keep in touch with your loved ones at home and try to develop new holiday traditions that belong only to you and your new husband. Take a look around your area and find some sights that'll help put you in the holiday spirit, like ornately decorated houses or tree and light displays, or maybe even holiday programs put on by local colleges, schools, churches, etc. Think about special plans for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day; whatever. If you find you can't help being upset about being so far from home, then give yourself some time by yourself to be upset and then put it aside. You are ultimately in charge of your emotions, so simply tell yourself that you're not going to spend the entire holiday season being miserable. You can do it, and you need to do it -- not only for yourself but for your husband. Good luck, and a very Merry Christmas to you! (and all the P.C. idiots around here that get offended by that statement can kiss my white bo-hiney!)
2007-12-17 07:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to take it easy.. You are homesick and that is normal. Of course you are feeling lonely because your family is so far apart... Here are a couple things that you can do to make you feel better in the mean time..
1. make sure that you and your family talk often.. If it's hard to get a hold of them, set up a time to call them on a weekly basis.. Like if everyone is usually home on Sunday's then that's the time to call..
2. write emails!! letters!! have them send you care packages.
3. stay close with your husband and let him know how much this is impacting you.. just make sure that you accept his support.
4. if it doesn't get better go to the doctor and check into depression.. often times they can give you a medication to help with the issues you are feeling!
good luck!
2007-12-17 07:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by nikki f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your family. You are making him feel less important because you are crying over your family and he probably thinks well I am her family now. I know it is hard and you miss your family something terribly however you were the one who had the decision to leave and move out of state. Nothing is worse for a man then a woman who is self pittying herself and crying all the time that is a big huge turn off for them. If you continue doing this he might want to divorce you. He wants you happy. Ask him if you can go visit your family.
2007-12-17 07:49:22 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have clinical depression, I believe. If it takes one to know one, I'm the guy to tell you. I get bouts of it too. I just went back on antidepressants again after having been off them for about 4 years. It's a chronic condition that I've had to deal with my whole adult life. Luckily, antidepressants work very well for me, and I normally only need them for a couple of months at a time. As some people above me have suggested, you would do well to see a doctor.
2007-12-17 07:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just going through a grieving process. It would be hard to move and leave all of your friends and family. You are letting go of your "old" life and getting ready for you "new".
I don't think you need any medication. I think you just need time. Talk with your husband, and tell him this is what you think is wrong, and you just need comforting. Even when you say you don't want to be touched, you probably need it. Tell him that. And try and make a phone call or email a day to your family and/or friends.
2007-12-17 08:19:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better do some soul searching. Bawling for no reason is a pretty bad sign. Stay away from psych meds too. Thats always a crutch for people, especially those who can't deal with life in general.
Why not try and get involved in some community affairs or something to keep you preoccupied? It may be theraputic.
2007-12-17 07:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww! Do you call your family and friends? I'd get a really good cell phone plan and keep in touch. I'm sorry you're so homesick. Maybe you could write letters to your friends as well. Can you not go home for the holidays?
2007-12-17 07:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by Katy B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's like this, I went outdoors and I was mobbed by Valery Bertinelli, Halle Berry, Delta Burke, Chaka Khan, Charo, Iris Chacon, Donna Summer and Kirstie Alley... they had a crazed look in their eyes, wantom and lustful. Geeze... they chased me into a dark alley and were all over me, I was fighting for my life! I thought they were going to kill with their mad, passionate kisses, pawing at me and ripping off my clothes... and... and... I woke up and discovered it was just a dream, damned! I tried to fall back asleep and go back to that dream but... aw, never mind! I thought that might make you laugh or at least chuckle. Smile and have a lovely day!
2016-05-24 09:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by desirae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋