My Friends are Cutting Themselves...?

Question

I continue to see and hear about more wounds that three of my friends inflict upon themselves. One of them is my absolute best friend and has never before lied to me... until now. Now every single day I come into school, I see yet more scratches on her wrists. Usually she blames it on her cat, but when I call her on it, she admits that she herself had done it. She also has ice burns on her hand, and ripped skin all over her shoulders. I want to talk to a councellor about it, but she told me that she'd handle it.

This is becoming a habit, not only with her but with the others too. None of my friends are labled emo and yet I'm the only one in my entire lunch table that doesnt have scars on her wrists and an iceburn on her right hand. I've talked and scolded them all more times than I could count and I've forced them into the counsellor's office three times EACH. Nothing is working and I'm really worried, especially about my best friend... What else can I do?

Answer 1

Get help ,before she kills herself!!!

Answer 2

Sounds like you haven't done the obvious yet....TELL THEIR PARENTS.....even though that is a hard thing for peers to do at your age (school age). Their parents are the ones with the
responsibility that this gets treated, not you. You are taking on a burden that should not be yours to carry. If you still get no response after talking either privately (or do it with your friend in the room, so they cannot deny it), then you have an obligation to call some higher agency, like child protective services, which would at least force the parents to act. (There is even a possibility that the parents can be involved in inflicting the wounds, so it may be best to call child protective services first, or it could get very ugly....in fact, ripped skin on the shoulders SOUNDS like someone ELSE did it, not your friend....it COULD even be a boyfriend doing these things, you never know.) You are in a very hard situation, and I feel for you, and hope it works out o.k., without you losing your friends....which is a possiblity in all this, if you take it to the parents or the child protective services, but in the long run, you will know you did all you could do before taking drastic measures, and you will know you did the best thing for your friends. Good luck! :) By the way, never heard the expression "emo"....what is that?

Answer 3

Don't stop talking to her like the other person said... that's the worst thing you can do to a cutter... tell her that you care about her... then GO TO THE COUNSELER immediately... or her parents... or someone with more control over the situation than you have. She needs help, whether she wants to admit it or not. Cutting might start off that way but it becomes a very bad habit; a way of dealing with emotional pain. It's good that you haven't started doing it with your friends. They will regret the scars later... they can't "help themselves" and it won't just go away. I'm glad to hear you're being a good, concerned friend. Keep it up... all you can do is get her help and then be there for her.

Answer 4

From experience, cutting is an incredibly difficult thing to stop on your own. It took me over 3 years after I decided I wanted to stop before I was actually able to, and it's a very compulsive behavior. Do not stop talking to them, because they will feel alienated, and, assuming that it is depression-related as opposed to wanted to get attention, that could make the problem worse. Talk to someone you trust: an adult, your doctor, a teacher, a school counselor, just an adult you can confide in. Tell them what's going on, and ask them what they think you should do. I would also tell your friends that you're telling someone because you care about them and don't like seeing them in so much pain that they would do this to themselves. They may be mad at you for a little bit, but they will hopefully see that you felt you had no choice. Good luck!

Answer 5

This is a very seious issue and I'm glad you realize this!
I went through this with a couple of my close friends back in middle school...
Your friends are missing something in their lives and inflicting pain on themselves is their way of handling it..It's a bad solution to the problem and it should stop. They will say they are fine, but they aren't. And you're just one person- you can't be expected to keep their lives together on top of living your own.
You need to talk to the councelor (or their parents, or both) and get help for them. Even though you're a really good friend, you can't fix everything.

Try these websites for information and help.
http://www.rnweb.com/rnweb/article/articleDetail.jsp?id=192813
http://www.adolescentcrisisteam.com/topics/Self%20Inflicting%20Teen.jsp
http://www.battlecry.com/pages/common_misconceptions.php
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html
http://www.stopselfharm.tk/a?t=self+harm+depression+disorders+help+burning+suicide+cutting+anorexia+eating+stop+mutilation+including+beat+find+dont+scratching+biting+other+forms&c=1&p=1&r=1195443872705

I hope this helps you get your friends the help that they need.
Don't give up and let them convince you it's okay- because it's not. Stay strong!

Answer 6

You are a great friend to take this upon yourself. Even though your friend says she can handle it, I would highly suggest you talk to the counselor. Your friend may feel like she can take care of this herself but it is a difficult and serious situation.

I dealt with self-harm myself and thought that I could handle it alone but I wasn't able to. It did become a habit and I was only able to stop with help from others.

Also, make sure that you don't get to stressed either. This is a difficult situation and it can be hard on the person, and others around.

I wish you and your friends the beset. <3

Answer 7

This is no different than an addiction to drugs or alcohol. They feel a high from the pain they inflict on themselves. They get attention from you and others when they cut themselves. This is what they focus on, instead of the weakness they carry inside that leads them to inflict this damange on themselves again and again. Until this behavior becomes so painful for them and draws no attention to them, they will continue it.

You should bluntly tell them that you cannot continue to be friends with such weak characters and that they need to summon up the inner strength to choose to treat themselves with respect and value, not like a slab of meat to be sliced on everyday. Mean this and walk away if they choose not to change their behavior. When they have stopped mutilating themselves, be willing to be their friend again.

It may seem heartless, but as long as you are there expressing shock and giving them attention with your scoldings, they will not change.

Answer 8

don't stop caring, and by caring I mean TELL people. Tell their parents, if that doesn't work call Child Protective Services and make a report. When I was in High School I had a friend who cut and burned himself, when I confronted him he just laughed it off and SWORE to me he was fine. Later when we were adults I ran into him at a reunion and we were talking about those days. He thanked me for caring enough to ask and confided that he did it to make himself less attractive to the person who was molesting him. Forget about the EMO thing, people who are not in need of help don't hurt themselves, it goes against normal human nature to purposely cause pain and permanent scarring.

Answer 9

Cutting is a sad trend, which as of yet has had little media and medical attention.
Honestly, for many of these people, anyone that attempts to help them ends up considered as part of the problem.
I think it's time for their parents to step in. Their parents probably never even see them, so they might not know. Up to you where you go next... But keep up the positive outlook, and better habits.

Answer 10

First of all, labeling them emo would not solve the problem (pff, idiots)

Anyways, I understand how you feel and I know it's hard to handle. But you can't ignore it, and you can't do it alone. You need to talk to your parents or another adult that you trust and tell them what they would do. They will probably say see a consuler or a therpist. Secondly, tell their parents. It doesn't make you a snitch, do it annoymously also, tell their parents that you don't want your friend going down hard on you, and she won't if she never knows. I know it's hard to lie, but she needs help, and you need to be there for her while her parents figure out what to do. You can't be there for her if she's trying to shut you out becauase you told her parents.

It's the right thing to do.

Good luck.

Answer 11

It must be a fad for this glorious day & age we are living in..

Cutting can be habit forming. It can become a compulsive behavior — meaning that the more a person does it, the more he or she feels the need to do it. The brain starts to connect the false sense of relief from bad feelings to the act of cutting, and it craves this relief the next time tension builds. When cutting becomes a compulsive behavior, it can seem impossible to stop.
Anyhow, please read this link that can help you to help them...
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html