I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get out. I don't know where to run away. But at the same time I am extremely super scared and very afraid of leaving. I only stay because of my adorable kiddos. I would like to be happy some day! I am so tired of being controlled by someone who won't let me be happy in my life.
2007-12-17 06:35:30 · 22 answers · asked by Pain_of_Unhappiness2 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i''m in about the same situation..it is time to be happy. My husband , won;'t let me be happy,and I'm tired of it. I have been planning on my leaving. It is very hard decision..but everybody deserves to be happy..I figure if the spouse doesn't let the other one be happy...they don't' love them anyways..and the kids can see this..so i actually making plans..so that is where you have to start,,figure where you would like to live...like me there is a mortgage. but if i leave my husband should be fine with the payments. and I'm willing to leave everything, he can have everything, i would be so happy if i could just leave with My kids and our clothes. i also worked very hard on he things that we have...but to me having nothing and be happy means more then, everything i have here..you need to take that step..and make plans and figure how you want to do it..i have and just that makes me a little happy.. you deserve to be happy...just need to take that step and it is a scary one. but we shouldn't live to be miserable that was not how we should live
sorry for just rambling on
2007-12-17 06:49:38 · answer #1 · answered by ilovemessages 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you take a little vacation or something, just two of you. You sound more like caught up in responsibility you weren't prepare to deal with. Although i do know at times people think that they are not happy because of there partners, but i don't think that always the case. It does not matter how bad relationship right now, all you need to do is work out plus points and how bad can it get. You don't always get what you want and how you want. You can't just shrug of your duty to your kids and run away and be happy. You see when there is kids involved then they come before your discomfort or feelings. Try talking and believe me it will be really hard being a man to talk out stuff. But if you are a head of family you should start acting like one. Running away will never solve your problem ever. Because tomorrow you might have other woman and more kids and what would you do, if history repeat itself. Nothing??? or same thing all over again. Think!!!!!!! Don't berry your head in send and hope it will sort out itself. Take a positive step, at least for sake of your kids. If you really believe that it is not going to work, then here is what i would do... Let say, after ten years and you look back and think..oh..i shouldn't have done this or that..so if you think in ten years time you will not regret your decision then go ahead and do it, what are you waiting for??? your wife will survive and so does your kids, life goes on.
2007-12-17 07:02:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answer from Victory. All it takes is to "drop the keys" and leave. It's all inside your head and I have no clue why you are saying what you are saying. You wont win staying, you wont win on leaving, this is where you lose less at the beginning, then is when you start gaining but in the future. I've been in a similar situation (not equal, with just similar characteristics). The feeling of being free again (which is not free in reality, is just the normal freedom a person has) is priceless and every minute of the day is joy and pleasure. If you stay, is because you have chosen that, so there is not a right to ask or complain about it. Because you can leave anyday you want, anyminute you want.
2007-12-17 06:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my dear, I know oh so well what you are saying!!!!!!!!!! I wish I had enough room on here to tell you everything I know and went through!! First I will say, just do what my husband just did to me this past Summer! Get an apartment, and don't tell anyone, start putting money back that she does not know about! Start furnishing the apartment little by little!! He did, and he has a GREAT PAD!!! Don't worry about paying the bills, just start getting your bills paid, set your self up, like my husband did! Just let her worry about paying the bills, so what if the lights, water, cable, rent doesn't get paid, So what if she gets evicted! Like me and my kids! Just make sure she knows it is her fault and it will be o.k.!! Don't worry about getting Christmas presents for the kids, let her worry about it! My husband had been telling me for months he would go in half on Santa stuff, only to tell me Friday, he didn't have the money to contribute, then my daughter saw him at the mall Saturday with loads of stuff, not Santa stuff mind you! If you don't want to leave your kids, DON'T, take them with you when you finally move out!!! It is not fair for you to feel trapped and walking around on egg shells and to be controlled by someone else, you are an adult, you have rights, too!!! I hope this helps some, Good Luck to you!! I am so sorry to rattle on, I really hope all is well with you! I am sure you can tell I have no friends at all, and no one to talk to!!
2007-12-17 06:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by meloni o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U are obviously not happy in this relationship because you have been asking similar questions all day. . .
I think u know what to do , you need to leave even if u are scared or afraid, u have no other choice. . .
do u want to be here 10 yrs from now and asking the same question? cuz Y! answers will be here and people will be telling u the same exact thing....
get out now!
2007-12-17 06:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
there isnt a law saying if you leave you cant see your kids. staying there isnt going to make you happy. you need to think about your happiness too! people who stay in the home because of the kids end up having resentment towards thier spouse and it turns into hate, onlt to realize that you wished youd left long before. controlling some one is not loving them,thats en emotional abuse. you do need to stand up for youself and realize that you can be happy without them. it'll be scary at first but trust me you'll be so much better when its not there any more.
2007-12-17 06:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by jstagirl1969 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do is to stay in a marriage for the kids. That only shows them that you have to stay married no matter what and they will grow up and do the same thing. I not only believe this but have heard it a lot on TV lately. Just know that you will have to play child support. That isn't a reason to stay but you have to have enough to live on too.
2007-12-17 06:42:58 · answer #7 · answered by moonchild 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her you want out. Just man up and tell her straight up. You dont have to be scared it will be the next best thing that happen to you! Never stay with someone just because of the kids, it never works. Good luck
2007-12-17 06:39:33 · answer #8 · answered by Rita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this situation, your kids won't happy. If you want to keep this marriage, you should improve the relationship with your wife and directly tell your wife that you do not like to be controlled by her.
2007-12-17 06:46:01 · answer #9 · answered by shanghai beach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See a therapist. No one can keep you from feeling happy; it's a little weird that you say that. You're either happy or not; if you're not, take steps to improve the situation. Small ones at first. Go to therapy, it will change your life.
2007-12-17 06:42:04 · answer #10 · answered by Little Red Hen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋