Me and my son is not accompanied by any family members in my town so my stepdaughter is recieving a bunch of presents from her family in town but my son is not, so i told my husband that i would only shop for my son because his family never includes him in anything. the only thing is that we share our money for bills and so forth. my husband seemed as if he was okay with it but then he mentioned that i had a spending limit which i dont think is very fair because his daughter (my stepdaughter) then will have all these gifts you cant count on one hand and my son will not have all the things he desired on christmas the way it used to be when it was just the two of us, i somtimes think about just taking all of my hard worked money and going shopping for him, but it's not the right thing to do, i know we have a lot of bills and things but i still dont want my son to be left out of the joy of christmas day to see her happy & not him, what should i do to make this work??
2007-12-17 06:16:02 · 16 answers · asked by KAT 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh this makes me angry just thinking about it. spoil him rotten! obviously no one else is thinking about the fact that xmas rocks for your stepdaughter but sucks for your little boy? Your his mum so you're the only one looking out for him apparently, so make xmas a great day for him too, and take your step daughter aside and explain to her that she is very lucky to have such a great extended family, but your son is not so lucky and so its up to you to make it special from him. As long as you explain this to her there shouldn't be a problem. unless she's a spoiled brat, then thats a whole other issue! Your son deserves Xmas too, its not his fault he doesn't have the luxury of an extended family!
I'm a single mum with a young son so I guess it hits a nerve for me
2007-12-17 15:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by rozzy2515 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is total bull$hit! Your son shouldn't be treated any differently than your step daughter. His family (if they had any class) would make sure your son felt wanted and appreciated. I know you feel you shouldn't spend the money, but don't let ;your husband make your son have a lousy Christmas. It isn't all about gifts when a child is older, but depending on his age, it is to him. You work, you earn money. This is the reason that, when I am in a marriage, he has an account, I have an account and we have an account together for bills and entertainment. We split everything 50/50 and what ever is left over from my check I keep in my account and what ever is left in his check goes in his account. If you did it that way then you would have no problem spending what you wanted on your son. Good luck and Merry Christmas. To all of you foreigners who are offended by my Merry Christmas......bite me, it's my country.
2007-12-17 06:35:06 · answer #2 · answered by Paula D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 kids...one that is my husband's and one from a previous relationship. My son was always treated like the grandson until his little sister was born and then all of a sudden it was different b/c he wasn't blood. My daughters first christmas she got a huge pile of toys....my son was given things from out of my inlaws pantry and some thing that was obviously bought at the last minute. This was after years of being treated like a "real" grandchild so he was very obviously hurt. My husband about blew a gasket! He let his entire family know that while he was not biologically my son's father he would not allow anyone to treat him like that again.
Personally I think your husband needs to do the same thing for your son. Your husband is taking on the role of a father for your son (even if his real dad is involved) He shouldn't be treated differently from your stepdaughter. The thing about blended families is that even the extended family needs to embrace the kids involved. Otherwise there are hurt feelings and problems start between the kids as well as the adults. Tell your husband he needs to let his family know that he now has a son as well (and you need to let your family the same about you having a daughter now) and that he expects him to be treated as any other child in the family. If he doesn't it's going to cause problems.
Good luck and hope it all works out!
2007-12-17 06:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What your husband's family is doing is sending a wrong message to your step daughter as far as what X-Mas is really supposed to be about. As you have no control over this, you cannot do anything about it. What you can do is to teach your son better than what they are teaching her. You shop and give your son a nice gift within your budget and also get your step daugther a nice practical gift. You have to know, by you excluding her and over indulging your son with gifts sends the wrong message. Be the better person, after all X-Mas is about the birth of Christ and if you feel doubtful on what the right thing would be to do, well ask yourself what Jesus would do. Do you think Jesus would go along with your plan or the plan I suggested to you? Think this over. Otherwise, you teach your son that the number of gifts is what counts and competion between his step sister will be set in motion for much trouble later.
2007-12-17 07:08:00 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong about Christmas. It is a season of the heart, of caring and love. If this is the way that family celebrates Christmas, by how many gifts they can give, then you are better off just staying home with your son and celbrating the birth of JESUS in happines and humility.
2007-12-17 06:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sabrina, the Bible does describe the beginning of Christ and the bypass to of the Magi. even inspite of the undeniable fact that, the Bible would not provide month and day. so as to locate that we could opt to bypass to the Roman information of the tax census taken that 12 months. i don't comprehend in case you may pull it up on line. maximum probable it extremely is interior the information of the two the Vatican or of Santa Sophia in Turkey. We chosen December 25 as a convenience. The patriarchs needed to steer the pagans faraway from the worship of Saturn so as that they chosen Dec. 25 because of the fact the beginning date. Santa Claus is extremely in accordance with a Christian saint from eary Russia who grew to become right into a bishop and had helped the destructive of his section. His extremely beginning date is December 6. over the years, all of it have been given lumped at the same time. even inspite of the undeniable fact that the dates for the crucifixion and resurrection would be desperate via the date of the Jewish Passover. even inspite of the undeniable fact that the Roman and Orthodox church replaced it extremely, the extremely Resurrection Sunday falls on the 1st Sunday after Passover starts off. it extremely is extremely not continually celebrated that way. desire this helps.
2016-10-02 00:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that the fathers side of the family needs to included your son and your husband should mention this to them. He is a kid they should be aware of his feelings. Hard situation when families are mixed. And I feel that money is best kept seperate from couples. It is the number 1 thing that is faught about. Me and my guy have seperate accounts and both put into the house bills and the rest is to do what we want with . We never fight about cash. It is very nice. I have done it the other way two times and it is ALWAYS and issue. It would aliminate one if the issues you are having about the cash limit that is being put on you! Only works if both have jobs.
2007-12-17 06:25:50 · answer #7 · answered by openminded 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This marriage isn't going to work if the two of you continue with this bickering back and forth. You're always asking what YOU should do to make it work. You can't do everything by yourself when you're in a marriage. He needs to step up and understand where you're coming from and be supportive. It seems to me that he isn't willing to consider your feelings, like they don't matter. That's all I have to say.
2007-12-17 08:12:33 · answer #8 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats one of the problems with christmas these days is everyone is worried about what they are getting or gifts and have forgotten the whole reason we celebrate christmas. This society has completely turned all commercial and have not taught their kids the true joy of the season.
2007-12-17 06:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to leave your son out of the joy of xmas but you want to take the joy out for your husband. If you've got a spending limit abide by it. It's not your place to keep up with everyone else.
2007-12-17 06:20:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋