If a law is totally unfair how does the general public go about?

Question

How do we (the general public) go about getting laws changed? I am feed up with hearing/seeing all non-custodial parents getting screwed. I see/read all these posts where the custodial parent is always wanting more and more and more. Should we be concerned about this issue? If this continues then non-custodial parents are NOT going to be able to even buy food, much less have a relationship. The laws and guidelines should be both FAIR AND ENFORCED. So how does this process work? What can we do to change it???

I am a woman who raised 4 children by myself, and only received $205.00 per month. So I am seeing this from both sides.

I feel the following would be fair, no matter where you live in the US.
Non custodial pay 50% of the following:
1. Day care
2. Clothes
3. School fees/costs
4. Medical insurance and any medical, dental and vision bills not covered by insurance.
5. Activities for children; such as football, soccer, skating, etc.
That they should pay 10% per child on each of the following:
1. Grocery bill
2. lights
3. heat

Total all that up, and that would be the child support order. Adjust once per year for cost of living.

Now why wouldn't that be fair for all???

Answer 1

In an issue such as this, civil disobedience (one means of dealing with unjust laws) would get you nothing. It has to be done by your state legislature. In the mean time, reviewing judges rulings and exposing the most unjust of them to the general public.

That being said, I wouldnt expect a groundswell of outrage on this issue.

Answer 2

The support guidelines are pretty much established and straight forward. It is rare that a court will deviate from the guidelines.

What I see is situations when a support order was created when the non-custodial was either unemployed or under-employed. Often this is done intentionally. When the non-custodial starts working again, they should pay their fair share.

Your proposal is not fair to anyone involved, particularly the children. In support cases the incomes of each party is often far from equal. If the custodial makes far more than the non-custodial, they could bankrupt the non-custodial (intentionally if they wished) by spending twice as much as the other person's income for expenses they would have to cover. Your proposal would also create a record keeping and oversight nightmare. How often would the expenses be reported to the court? What would happen if the non-custodial challenges the expense? How would expenses be proven?

Answer 3

The child support courts are actually getting better about the amounts ordered. Most States now have a schedule that uses a formula for the amount to be paid. This keeps a judge from being influenced by certain cases. The problem lies in the child support agencies being able to collect the fees.

Answer 4

Again, I agree with you. I'm tired of seeing these control freak moms that want the moon from their ex. I'd like to see the child support system changed but not sure how to change it to be fair to all. I think the majority of moms do get screwed...I was one of them and married to a non-custodial father who is and has been getting screwed for years. So I can see it from both sides too. I know that my husband's ex has been collected welfare and food stamps and has been receiving $2000 + each month in child support alone, not including spousal support for the last 4 years. She has been under investigation for welfare fraud but so far...she has yet to be punished for it.

Answer 5

The laws do need to be changed, however it's a long road to make that happen. I've seen non custodial parents go to jail for owing back support, and I've also seen non custodial parents get away with not paying their support.

My ex owes me over 16,000.00 in back support. All accumulated in a period of 4 years and he's never been to jail.

I know of someone else who was paying regularly, but was behind about 4000.00 who got picked up by the sheriff, at his job, and taken to jail for having arrearages. Crazy, huh?

Answer 6

My husband and I have two daughters of our own. He has a daughter from a previous relationship that lives with her mother. He pays all their rent, their phone bill (he wants to be sure his daughter can get a hold of him long distance if needed) carries health, dental, and vision insurance on the child, and sends the mother a check on the first of the month to aid with groceries. When his daughter needs extra money for a school function or whatever, he gladly works with the mother to make sure she gets it. I don't mind him paying this much for his daughter. She was his kid before I was his wife and before we had our children together.

I agree there are some situations where the custodial parent tries to "bleed dry" the noncustodial parent, but in a lot of cases I see noncustodial parents starting second families then getting mad because they can't afford the new kids. My husband and I were careful to not have kids unless we knew we could afford them and he not have to decrease his support of the oldest child. Once you have a kid, it's your job to take care of them. Unless a Noncustodial parent is doing everything they can to support their kid (including multiple jobs if necessary) then they need not whine about the obligation that they brought upon themselves when they made the baby to begin with.

Answer 7

Issues related to non-custodial parents aren't based on law but judicial judgements in family court. so first, you need to better understand our legal system and second you need to make specific cases and not just rant about unfair laws. each situation is different, so unless you have real issues and not just sweeping concerns over fairness then you will not be able to get anywhere. there are organizations that fight for just causes and family support groups, perhaps you can join these organizations and learn more about these issues.

Answer 8

Join a political group that advocates fair treatment for non-custodial parents. They often lobby the legislature and are also a good source of information and support. I know how you feel and sympathize with those parents.

Answer 9

I'm with you. I had three boys and raised them with 5 part-time jobs. It only hurts the kids when spouses keep fighting over rights, money etc. I fought 11 years for child support and still don't have it. The boys are men now but I did it without it and survived. Even got a T-shirt!!!!!!

Answer 10

Start by writing a letter to your representative (either congressman or MP depending on your country). Then look into organizations that share your views and become active. Organize ralleys and protests.

Good luck to you. Changing the law is hard work!