My friend is going through a separation. Something no one ever saw coming. She has a 3 year old and a 8 month old. I've offered to listen and help with the boys. Going over tomorrow to help out a bit but is there anything else I could do? I don't want to intrude or anything and don't want to send a cheesy card but would even something like taking baked goods or something help?
2007-12-17 05:33:05 · 19 answers · asked by Ryan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being there and listening with her would be good. Someone also needs to explain to the 3 year old.
Its a difficult time at christmas and New year and this might bring back other memories. Loneliness and crying is part of the grieving for the loss. There are a number of good websites and she can get information online. She will need to consider legal, financial, emotional and social factors. Where will she live? How will she pay bills? and is there any possibility of a reconciliation?
Being a good friend and a listening ear or spending time with the boys to give her a break would be a wonderful act of kindness.
2007-12-17 05:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by kenjinuk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-24 09:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bringing some cookies or a little bouquet of flowers from the store or a scented candle are all nice little gestures. You can just tell her, "I saw these and I thought of you".
You don't have to assign it to: I wanted to cheer you up because you're going through a hard time and I don't want you to be sad. That part is implied.
Lend her an ear when she needs it. Hold back on giving advice unless she asks. Give her a hug before you leave - and give an extra little squeeze - she'll know what it's for - just a simple little squeeze to say "I'm here for you, girlfriend." Words are unnecessary.
2007-12-17 05:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by amazing_creation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just being there for your friend is the best thing you can do. Invite her and the kids out, and do things the kids will enjoy. Go to the park, Chuck E Cheese, a kids museum. If she can get a babysitter then take time for you two to go to dinner or a movie. She just needs to stay active and have a friend who will listen. A card is nice jesture too! A friend is the best!
2007-12-17 05:36:42 · answer #4 · answered by brokentrixie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to take good care of herself, don't tell her to do stupid things like "get out there and date" (big mistake), tell her to go for counseling (she needs to heal and figure out why she didn't see this coming--there are always signs of some sort) and just be very supportive and listen.
Baked goods help when she is too tired or depressed, but being there is important for her now because her whole world has just fallen apart. Make sure she is protecting herself financially and physically (if he is abusive), get her to a good attorney (go with her to make sure they aren't a "shark"). Get her and the kids out to exercise (to help with depression and tension).
When I went through my divorce, I cherished friends who said "I am there no matter what time of the day or night" and they meant it too.
2007-12-17 05:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi my name is najuma Thames and i have two girl twins. My sister die and left the kids to me now i have to take care of them. I thought that i love this guy and he love me but it didn't turn out that way. He left me for some hoe and i got the twins. What i really think you should do is go over there and talk this up with her. Meaning sit down and ask her do you want me to get counseling or do you want me to be a ture friend. Don't try to baby her up because really the only thing you doing if you baby her up is making her feel bad about herself.
2007-12-17 05:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by najuma t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive and just listen at times and when she ask for any advice or help then answer. Just knowing that you have a friend that will be there through thick and thin is wonderful. She might be moody at time cuz of stress but don't hate her for it.
2007-12-17 05:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are doing is the right thing. Just spend time with her and the kids. Maybe take them out to do something fun, that will take there minds off things.
2007-12-17 05:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by tarie75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cookies, prayer, your presence.
I am sure she feels lost and out of sorts.
Just be willing to listen to her.
You're a good friend.
Stay close by so she doesn't get too lonely feeling.
2007-12-17 05:36:56 · answer #9 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just being there as a friend for her and offering your help is a great thing to do...when i was going through my separation with my ex hubby...i felt like didnt have anyone to tlak to....dont pry with her...just let her know youre there when and if she needs to talk....she will talk when she is ready...i know it upset me when people would bug me to talk and i was like "im not ready to talk abot it yet" just keep reminding her (dont overkill) that youre there for her to listen and anything else she may need...to help with the kids, cook...take her out for a girls day...thats the bes thing you can do!!
2007-12-17 05:37:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋