I've been married for about a year now and lately I find my life to be so boring. It's like all the excitement is gone. I don't have my own friends any more. All it is is work work and work. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and not planning to leave him, but my life is dull. There's nothing going on in my life. Lately, i'm thinking maybe I should have a baby to complete my life. I'm 26 years old, maybe it's time for a child. maybe that's what's missing in my life.
2007-12-17 05:31:05 · 34 answers · asked by x_x_x 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm guessing that's how alot of marriages are my husband and i have been married for two years and things were awesome there for a while then it all started changing, my life was no longer adventurous, it seemed like a routine and that is something i'm not at all use to. My husband and I wanted a child, we tried and tried with no luck, we decided to stop trying and just let it happen on it's own and bam i was 5 months along by the time i found out i was pregnant. Our daughter was born just two months after we found out and is now 4 months old and since then things have actually gotten worse, i love having my daughter, i wouldn't change it for the world but i was definately wrong when i thought it was the answer to being "happy" i guess you can say. It wasn't the answer. lol.
2007-12-17 05:45:57 · answer #1 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life and marriage is meant to be boring. People divorce because they think excitement is supposed to be 24/7 in a marriage when it reality, it's responsibilities and hard work. Life does not have to be boring all the time but it's not meant to be an exciting rollercoaster either.
You need to seriously examine your priorities and your maturity level if you honestly think a child will make life more exciting to you. Having a child simply because you're bored is selfish and immature at best. You have children because you and your husband BOTH decide you're ready and want to share the love of family with each other, not because you are bored.
Join clubs as people have said. Volunteer, give to charity, make new friends, do something besides having a baby right now. You're married now. You can't go around crying about being bored when you chose to get married and have a settled down lifestyle.
Personally, I enjoy the routine of marriage. That is more exciting to me than partying, going out all night, shopping all day, etc. Single life doesn't thrill me. Marriage does.
I wish you luck and I hope you're intelligent enough to realize having a baby now just isn't right for the reasons you mentioned.
2007-12-17 05:45:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say "freeze" and stay as you are in some aspects. Slowly you two have to start finding the same things you guys were doing before, you just went full throtle and passed your revolutions (way of speaking). That's the problem when you forget who you are and the things you used to do that made you happy. If you were going to a gym big mistake would had been to stop going, if you or your husband abandoned certain hobbies that was another mistake too. You guys should help each other on finding what you guys liked, but help each other, that's very important. That's the first step and don't even think on expanding your family anytime soon until everything tested ok between you 2, make sure you are not just 2 friends that decided to be together and that there is something seriously between you 2. Help each other, that's the key.
2007-12-17 05:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep but for the worse and now i'm alone....
Tell ur hubby how u feel.... its just that u are comfy with ur hubby and ppl tend to fall into a routine and it gets boring very quick. So before you up and decide that a baby may complete ur life stop and over think it.....having a baby is alot of work and its very hard the first yr on ur marrigae.... and it should also be a decision u and ur hubby make together.
Why don't u try talking to him about ur feelings, see what he says and then maybe try doing something together once a week like having a night for u too. U guys could go for dinner, stay home and rent a movie or join up for something that u guys can to together.
Good Luck :P
2007-12-17 05:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by laydenirvine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh gosh...did it! I have been married 18 years to a wonderful man, but of course your life changes. It is two lives becoming one. A baby will not help right now...take your time because that is completely LIFE ALTERING...wonderful, but life changing in a major way. Trust me...I have two teenagers who i adore, but they also changed my life. Its supposed to. Its about comprise and giving. However, MAKE SURE you take time for yourself. Maybe join a gym or take a yoga class. Do something just for you. Go out with the girls once every other week...join a club....get a hobby. Sometimes women just need something of their own. It may seem dull, but it wont always be this way. Life is full of ups and downs...straight paths and curvey turns. Right now you are on a straight path and only you can change your direction. I think when you find something you can call your very own, you will start to feel better. Though you are a married couple, each of you need your space and time to be alone. Take it and dont feel selfish about it either. Good luck and let us know how your doing!
2007-12-17 05:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by lill2441 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 26 as well and have been married for about 2.5 years. Yep, life changes once it becomes official - but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just falls into more of a routine instead of fly-by-the-day lifestyle. I suggest getting involved with something like Junior League or join a book club or anything else you might be interested in to spice life up a little bit. If you're financially and mentally ready as a couple to have a baby then go for it, but don't expect it to be a fix-all to the monotony you're feeling. Good luck!
2007-12-17 05:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by Magpie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Abe says that with a smiling face! I'm taking that as a hilarious response, thoughtless, but hilarious too. Unless you're like stuck living somewhere like Green Acres, you may have a shot at turning things around. You're on here, so you enjoy mental stimulation. Of course who doesn't except maybe that character in Dodgeball. I understand what you're saying. I think tons of people out there identify with what you've just expressed and Oreos and DVDs just aren't the answer anymore. You need the time to build people connections. It's hard. Some people you'd have to stick dynamite under their butt to launch them out from doing anything that would veer from their precious routine of work, family and meatloaf and mashed potatoes on Tuesday nights. Why don't you better describe yourself to us and we could offer you some solutions, also what state you live in. If you live in Iowa what we say may be different than if you tell us you live just outside of Chicago. I'm not a woman so I would suck at answering the baby question. I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea or a good idea. You're definitely at the right age to have a baby. This baby thing is like a whole other topic to me that doesn't involve words like boredom. I am leary of offering a baby as a solution to "boredom." Also you may want to take a look at Abe's comment again and consider whether you want add "baby" to that list of aforementioned variables in your life, that might still include the word "boredom" and some other negative feelings you hadn't anticipated. However, I don't want to dissuade you from having a baby, but please, take that proposition far more seriously than curing your boredom. I'd hate for you to find yourself in way over your head emotionally with a baby and husband in tow. I wouldn't assume anything about how your husband is going to help you with the added daily responsibilities or the emotional challenges you will be faced with in carrying, delivering and caring for the baby. Not that men shouldn't naturally help in all these areas, but men are also individuals; and some individuals are good in some areas and some totally suck in others. Whether he is or he isn't, I don't think even he will know until you both come to that bridge and it's a very long bridge. So you can see, I feel you definitely should be very careful about your solution strategy to the emotions you are struggling through. But don't think you're alone either. We hear you, girlfriend! Except maybe for Abe.
2007-12-17 05:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by Steve C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not a reason to want a child. Only if you both want one it is a good choice. I think you and your husband have not been together long enough to have children. Now is the time to have fun, no responsibilities., do spur of the moment things, do a weekend somewhere, go for breakfast at 4 in the AM.
Be care free and enjoy each other. You made it boring. Life is not boring. Plan concerts, dinner, get the picture?
2007-12-17 05:38:28 · answer #8 · answered by clever girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you're still young so don't rush the baby thing unless you really want it. Being stuck in a house everyday for the next 5 years might make things worse. I've been married for 5 years and life goes in different stages. Most people get divorced because the excitement fade but no matter who you are that stage will come.
2007-12-17 05:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm..... Yes but it's part of life. There are increased responsibilities. It sounds like you need some hobbies. What happened to your friends? They should still be a part of your life. But of course that's easier to say. One reason I don't see my friends is that they aren't involved with anyone at the moment or they are married and have children. I have stepkids. I work, take classes, and volunteer. My life isn't exciting but I keep busy. I work out and have taken up belly dancing. I enjoy reading and look forward to doing a lot more of that once I finish my degree. It's up to you to make your life more exciting. My husband and I go into Boston or other places. We went to California this past year.
2007-12-17 05:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋