should i get married??

Question

i am going to be 18 next nov.. me and my bf r planning to get married at the end of next year..ill b 18 and he'll b 20...do you think tat is a good age??or should i wait a lil longer??

Answer 1

It's not the age that matters - it's whether or not he is someone you can spend the rest of your life with - and that you are willing to work through all of the inevitable problems you are going to run into. You have a lot of changes in front of you - and so does he - and they may go in different directions. Are you both sure that you are willing to "shackle" yourselves together - it may mean giving up other dreams and possibilities as you grow older.

Answer 2

I could tell you you are too young, but like most people, you probably wouldn't listen. Statistically speaking the younger you are when you get married the higher the divorce rate. The vast majority of people married at 18 get divorced.

I'm sure you're going to tell me, yeah but I know some people who were married young and they are married all these years later. That small vocal minority are overshadowed by the people who divorce early and then keep their mouthes shut and rarely speak about their painful experiences.

You say yeah, but we're in love, yeah but we're different... Don't you think 100% of the people who got married young then divorced shortly afterward said the exact same thing? Why exactly are you different than all those other people with the exact same circumstances?

Not only is ages 0-18 the formative years, but so are ages 18-30. Talk to a 30 year old ask them if they are pretty much the same as they were 12 years ago. People decide who they are during these years. How many children do you want to have, how have you planned to deal with it when your spouse racks up major credit card debt, how are you going to handle it when you or your spouse has a decrease in sex drive (and no it doesn't just happen to senior citizens), how are you going to handle it when you have to give up freedom when a child arrives but your spouse doesn't want to their freedom and leans on you to stay home with the kids while they are out with their friends.

There are millions of reasons why people get divorced and when I was 18 I hadn't thought about very many of those reason and what I was going to do about any of them.

Answer 3

Everyone has doubts, so feeling unsure is normal. However in a country where over 50% of marriages fail, and the younger you are when you get married that number increases.
Why rush? If you love him, and vice versa, then just stay dating. Finish college, or get a job with some security with room to move up. Start a savings account. Just prepare yourself for the worse (divorce) so that you could take care of yourself if need be. And if in a couple of years you are still together then make the move. But it is much easier to break up with a b/f than divorce a husband. And if you plan on being together forever, then what does it matter when you get marrried?
Each case is different, I know people who are older that are happily married and got married young, but I know more who are divorced. I say get yourself independantly secure, then make the move.

Answer 4

Answer these fews questions

1) do you have any ideal whats makes a married work?

2) are you prepare to handle things in adults way?

3) do you think marriage is easy just because you feel this way about each other?

4) finish high school is the only education goal you have plan for your future?

5) can the two of you afford to living out on your own?

6) what steps will you take when all this wonderful feeling being to fade away within a year or so? Are you gong to blame him or you take the blame?

7) does your boyfriend drinks?

9) what kind of work will you be doing once you get out of high school?
8) have he ever lost his temper?

Answer 5

It all depends on what you want to do with your life. If you have any inclination to go to college, WAIT. It's much tougher to do college once you're married (especially if you have children). Also, does your boyfriend have a good job? Unless he's making at least $40,000 a year, WAIT. You'll hardly be able to get by if one of you doesn't have a good job with benefits, and if you're 17 I know you don't have a good job with good benefits.

Put it this way: If you get married at 18, you probably will not be happy with your life unless your boyfriend makes enough to support the two of you well. You'll probably have to work at a dead-end job since you won't have a college education, which means you won't see much of each other, and if money is tight that'll create a lot of friction you don't need. And if you add children to the mix, it'll make a bad situation worse.

I'm betting you'd be better off waiting...

Answer 6

hi i reckon you should really think about it yourself anyone can say yeah sure get married or no don't get married and then at the end on of those answers would of been the right one listen i reckon you should look at how you relationship is going i think 18 is a bit too young i mean 18 to 25 years old that's when you enjoy life as a young adult but in you late 20's like around 27 28 29 years old i think you'll be more wiser and would know if you completely satisfied with the person your with because you both get married now at a young age then you both stuff up having fun in your young years no more going out whenever you want no more doing what you want its all about doing things together when your married and its also about understanding each other to get to know him really really good you probably think you know him good now but trust me give it more time and you'll see what i mean but then again you don't have to listen to all of us after all YOU make your own decisions before your married after getting married you got to discuss things before you do it

hope i helped and also good luck to the both of yous hope yous both make the right choice :)

Answer 7

I am sorry but I really believe that is too young. You have so many things that are going to change in the next ten years and so many things to experience. Most people who marry that young end up divorced, the divorce rate is 60% right now and you will probably end up with some kids and left alone. Reality is harsh. Take time to find out who you really are without being tied down.

Answer 8

well, you can if you want, but make sure that you are both financially secure. and you are well committed than just a fling that you decided to get marry. you have to know that this is what you really want because you don't want to have to regret it one day because you're caught up in the heat of hte moment. first, live your life, go party, see the world. go to college! then if you feel like there's still a void then get marry. at least you'll be 19 then when you're in college instead of 18 and have a better understanding of the world. just do what you think is best for you, and no one can really decide that (except maybe you should talk to your parents and see also.)

Answer 9

That is an okay age ONLY if you both know what you want out of life and you're in agreement that you can achieve it together. And if you've discussed and come to mature decisions about children, finances, living arrangements, and spiritual issues. IMO, unless you are extremely mature and level-headed (and some people are at your age), you're probably too young. Marriage is NOT all romance and roses...trust me. The romance could go out the window with the honeymoon...what would you have left? Make your decision based on that.

Answer 10

If you are able to support yourself, Have money in the bank, and in reality you don't need his support, then go for it. If not then you are not ready to get married. Live a little first, have some fun, enjoy the next 2-4 years. Who knows, he may not really be the guy for you. If he can wait, then he's the one. If not then you will know.