I've been 1/2 of a couple for so long. I do not know how to be "just me".
2007-12-17 05:13:02 · 17 answers · asked by orange c 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are you dont let anyone tell you any different
It is hard surround yourself with friends and family and love that lad of yours
2007-12-17 05:45:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is unfortunate. Divorce (or even a breakup) can suck. I am still affected by my divorce, 10 years old. However, I always had a strong sense of self. I would recommend that you do some of the things you enjoyed as a couple. It might be painful, but you will get used to it in time. You will find yourself. I took a week long trip into the high country of central Colorado where I didn't see another person for 5 days. I really "discovered" myself. I was not used to being alone. It was actually a very spiritual event. Best of luck.
2007-12-17 13:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by theefovalways 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think back before the break up, what did you do?? honestly sometimes you can lose yourself when you are with someone and then when that doesn't work out you have no idea what your likes and dislikes are. What I encourage you to do is to get into everything. Bring close friends along with you. Its a "new" you to say and venture out what makes you happy. ALso I believe writing down your thoughts and everything else will also help you find just yoU! I don't think the best route is to go out and get drunk, go to bars and stay up all hours of the night, that is more a a reciep(spelling??) for disaster. GO out with Co-workers if you don't have any available friends. Meet new people by doing such things as these. I think once you find yourself don't lose yourself when you do get back into another relationship, that means being firm on who you are!
2007-12-17 13:19:42 · answer #3 · answered by MellyG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is part of the reason your marriage failed. You forgot who you where, and became someone else. You need to think back to what you where like before you became a Mrs. and get that person back. I look at all the couples today, and see one changing to make the other happy, WRONG, you are who they fell in love with, and that is who you need to stay. Of course people change over the years, because they like different things as they get older, but that doesn't change who you are, just what you enjoy.
Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself who you are, what you want to achive and how you are going to go about it. Only you can do this, so get in there and find you again.
2007-12-17 13:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 22 years when my ex left me for his then-pregnant g/f.
It's really hard to be alone after being used to living with somebody for any length of time. But the first thing you have to do is accept that you ARE now alone and that you have to get on with your life. Join clubs, date (on-line dating services are a great way to meet men), go to church. Do volunteer work--it's very satisfying.
It's also hard to come home to an empty house or apartment so get yourself a cat or dog to keep you company. It's comforting to come home and have somebody (thing?) greet you.
Stay busy and keep your mind off your ex. You are responsible for your own happiness and now's the time for you to take care of you. This is the one time in your life you have society's permission to be selfish.
Good luck.
2007-12-17 13:28:18 · answer #5 · answered by LadyBug 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have fun! Call up some old friends and go hang out. Find things that you like doing like shopping, dancing, reading, bowling, camping, whatever. Try not to focus on being alone. Get to know yourself and learn to be okay with being by yourself.
2007-12-17 13:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One step at a time. Celebrate each step you make, that will be progress. First focus on who you would like to be, the lifestyle you think it will be right for you, what you would like to have. Set a goal that is possible to reach, and one that is difficult and over your expectations to increase the challenge. Never accept being less than what you would like to be. Then start by one thing at a time, slowly, then another one, and another one. Slowly you will be transforming into that person you would like to be. Take this as a transition.
2007-12-17 14:02:00 · answer #7 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people want a long term relationships so I would find a new love interest. Being alone sucks! Why would you want that? You'll have fun for a while but inevitably return to a relationship when being "just me" gets old, so I wouldn't worry!
2007-12-17 13:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Lv Dr. 4U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mean you are so used to compromising you don't know what to do for yourself? Commit to doing a few hours voluntary work every week and spend the rest of your time building up new interests and contacts.
2007-12-17 13:24:38 · answer #9 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your closest friends hang out, go out have fun talk to new people just don't give up on life! It will be hard but you'll get through it. Especially with friends and family!
2007-12-17 13:18:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do single things like going out and meeting people.
Hanging out with the girls or boys.
Just keeping your day full of things to do.
2007-12-17 13:17:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anthony J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋