i have just found out i have mrkh?

Question

iam 16 and recently found out i have mrkh, i have ovaries but my vagina and uterus are small as they didnt develop. i will have to have treatment like use a dialator.
i havent told my friends they all assume i have started my period and id rather it stay that way there is no need for them to know right now.
iam actually ok with it and am dealing with it ok.
its wierd i always had an inkling that i would never start my period. but i know iam going to have children whether it be adoption or genestation surrogacy.
rather than feeling down about it i feel lucky that i have ovaries so i can have my own children and that i dont have a life threatening disease. obviously it would alot simpler if everything was fine but its not.
i was just wandering if anyone has the same thing?

Answer 1

I have heard of this condition, but have never experienced it first- or second-hand. I'm pleased to hear that you're ok with what's going on. It can be hard on people sometimes, so I'm happy to know that you're coming to grips with the condition.

Your friends don't need to know. I can honestly tell you I NEVER blabbed to my friends or even my family about my period. I told my mother, and that was it. It's just what it is. Frankly you may end up being the envy of all your friends in the future for not having to deal with "the curse"!

It will be hard on you emotionally when you decide to settle down, as many men want to have kids. I was lucky -- my husband never wanted kids, so we'd be ok with something like this happening. The moral of this is that there ARE good men out there who would be alright with not having children...if that's what ends up happening (surrogacy doesn't work).

I wish you well. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

It doesn't cost $250,000 to have a surrogate baby. It costs more like $20,000+. I know some women who have done it. And some states mandate that insurance must cover the cost of IVF, so if you live in such a state, it will be less expensive. Anyway, it sounds like you have a great attitude! The ovaries are really key to normal functioning of your whole body, so you are indeed lucky to have healthy ones!

Answer 3

start saving your money now honey. No health insurance covers the kind of medical interventions you are thinking about with regards to surrogacy etc. You can plan on spending around 250,000 dollars to have a baby.

Answer 4

I like your attitude very much! You are young, of course , and have not lived life long. But, having a positive attitude is probably the most important thing you will ever learn.
I had a girlfriend who has MRKH, and she was too much for me to deal with, although I loved her dearly. I would have loved her if she were a double amputee. What I felt for her was bigger then her not being like other women. I loved her, the person, warts and all, like I would expect any woman to love me. None of us are perfect. Externally, some might appear to be that way, but internally...regarding their hearts and attitudes towards themselves and others, they might be extremely flawed. In our "total perfection" society, we tend to overlook the things that truly make a person a great person, and instead, focus on superfluous things like looks and style. I am no longer with this woman I was telling you about. Not because of her having the MRKH, but because of her cold and heartless ways. I think she dealt with some kind of trauma as a child, or older teen that made her the way she is. I don`t know if it was finding out about the MRKH like you did (and many other women who are dealing with that particular syndrome...silly word, "syndrome", isn`t it?) Her parents were not mature when they had her and maybe they did something that truly upset her, and caused her to turn out the way she did emotionally. I just don`t know. I do know that she is very secretive and I even suspect that she is dealing with an emotional problem called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD for short. That is what finished our so-called relationship, not her having the MRKH. I simply didn`t care about the MRKH...it was a non issue to me. When you love someone enough, you find ways to overcome obstacles. You do these things willingly, and feel no sense of burden either. For me, there was nothing that was physically wrong with her that we could have not seen through together..sharing in difficulties (that all of have to deal with in one way, or another) and in joy. That is what love is about...at least to me anyway. She was a relationship killer, and I suppose she always will be. Pity, for I loved her so dearly. But, you cannot make a person do or be something that they are not inclined to do or be. I am writing to you so you do not become like her...secretive and isolated. She closed the door on love...perhaps fearful of it. For you, I suggest you maintain your good attitude, and don`t tell anyone about your MRKH, if it is not necessary. I don`t know how many your age are mature enough to deal with the knowledge of your MRKH. I don`t want you to be hurt by cruel remarks from some mindless classmate. They have no reason to know about your situation. Save that knowledge for someone who truly loves you. If they love you, as I did the woman I spoke of, the MRKH will be a non-issue. You will find your way of having the child (or children) that you want, and things will be good. AND, with new medical technologies appearing almost every day...things might be a lot different for you in the next 5 to 10 years from now too. There is no reason to not be hopeful, quite the contrary. BUT, your attitude is what will carry the day for you...don`t let anyone, or anything get you down! Remember, for every man there is a woman, and for every woman, there is a man. Keep an open mind, but more importantly, keep an open heart...and you will be okay. Please do remember this too...you get what you give, so if you are not willing to give in a relationship (like my lady friend wasn`t)...you will get nothing in return. I give her this though...she is a determined person, and is very intelligent too. But, she seemed to be heartless and resigned to living her life alone...well, she did have a few pets. But, pets are not like a real live person in your life...one who adores you too.
There is information that might be helpful to you that can be found on www.mrkh.org and there are many groups on places like Yahoo & MSN Groups. You can join them, but I don`t see all that much activity on those groups (the ones that allowed me on them, so I could learn more about MRKH)...I suspect some of the women on them are just plain not comfortable talking about this issue, even amongst themselves. It is like most sit in the shadows and let a few do the talking. I wish it wasn`t that way. This matter needs to be discussed, and brought out into the open as much as reasonably possible, that is. I care about girls like you, and I am sure that others would too. As I said, we all have things that we wish we didn`t have to deal with, but nonetheless, we still have to face them...and, with the right attitude, we can make them an asset even. I believe personally that dealing with any adversity makes us a stronger person. We can let adversity beat us, or we can turn it into a tool to make us even better then we might have been otherwise...again, the attitude thing.
I wish you great health, a long and prosperous life, but most of all...lots of joy and happiness! You can do it!!!

Much Regard,
Vic