What should I do now? Cheating wife.?

Question

She says she knows she made a terrible mistake and the fear of loosing me has made her realize what she really wants. I still love her deeply and we have a two year old as well. She's been lying to me about it for several months. I had a suspicion before and confronted her, of course she lied. This last time though I got solid evidence.

I guess my question is, should I forgive her because she is being sincere or not believe her because she's just afraid and saying what I want to hear.

Answer 1

If you do love her and your child, give her a chance to prove it is more than words spouting from her mouth. This is the only time she has been unfaithful, right? Believe me, people sometimes don't realize what they have until it is almost taken away from them. Bet she will never do such a stupid foolish thing again; you scared her; you found out.

But - with that said - she needs to make a clean break from this man - no contact at all. It was several months that she was attached to him and she needs to take all the love in her heart and give it to you and her child. If you can forgive her, do so, but not until she has earned your forgiveness by showing you she is the wife you always thought you had.
Please check out the websites; they will help you cope and may give you some assistance so you can make a decision.

Answer 2

PERHAPS a momentary lapse in judgement once in this catagory would be forgivable, but to do it for months and lie when confronted is very very difficult to accept if at all. It's wonderful that you can consider it an option. She's broken the trust into tiny bits and pieces. Can you see yourself trustingher ever again?

If there is any reason to try, it's your child. However, it takes a certain kind of person to do something so hideous and repulsive. As much as you love her, do you believe she could feel the same and do what she did? Could you picture yourself doing it?

If you forgive, you have a giant heart, but please don't forget.

Answer 3

Honey to be honest if you love your wife reagrdless of what people may say you should do you know what decision you want to make. Try to seek counseling to see if you can work through the problems and then try to work on trusting her again. I am not saying your going to be over it overnight but I would say atleast try to work it out. That is the problem with people nowadays everyone wants to cheat and get divorces. Marriage is a sacred vow you make before god and people just throw it down the drain. I would find out from her when did she loose respect for you and the marriage. Trust me your wife married you for a reason and that is because she loves you. Express yourself calmly and try to take it one day at a time. Good luck

Answer 4

The fact that she lied about it for several months is what's getting to me. But you have a two-year-old, so I would suggest at least trying counseling.

Sit her down and let her know that if you catch her a second time, it's divorce, period. In the near future, if she tries to guilt-trip you about not trusting her or if she starts lying to you about little things again, then I would say that she's a manipulator and repeat cheater.

Answer 5

I can understand that you love her,but ask yourself if you can trust her for what she says.1 or 2 days or weeks,but this is months.Just like anyone (male/female),she just wants to have her cake & eat it too! Give her a wake up call! I found a place,then when she went to work/out moved out(my things only). I did take my kids & even called her in a few days. This was my way of seeing where she stood. Don't do what I did but do something that will tell you where she stands.

Answer 6

I would only let the marriage continue IF:

1) she agrees to marriage counseling
2) if you feel you can TRULY forgive her & trust her again at some point
3) if she understands the magnitude of her mistake & agrees to have patience with you as you try to trust her again.

She needs to understand that cheating is just a symptom of something else wrong in the marriage. That's why it's important to seek marriage counseling in order to figure out the root cause of what happened. It will only improve your marriage.

Answer 7

first good thing i hear there is she made a mistake. did she end it with the other? if not i would really hesitate to take her back. if she ended it and then you found out, then she has chosen you. if it was ongoing and you just caught her, she hasnt chosen you. you are just the less scary option than being alone.

is she willing to get help? if the causes of her cheating remain unadressed and unchanged, nothing will be fixed.

is she willing to be accountable? she no longer deserves blind trust and faith. is she willing to allow you to have your doubts? is she willing to be accountable? is she willing to give up her privacy so you can check and do what you need to do to assure yourself she isnt cheating any more?

it is an uphill battle but if she is willing to do whatever it takes you can fix it.

Answer 8

It is your choice you have to ask yourself if you can get over this betrayal and work on your marriage. It is very difficult to forgive someone once that trust has been broken. Her cheating had nothing to do with you . Has she cheated on you multiple times or was this a one time thing and it's done ?If she is cheating on you over & over then maybe it's time to end it . If she is trully sorry and is ashamed of what she has done and wants to make your marriage work then give her that chance . Best of Luck to you.

Answer 9

If there is no trust in the realationship there is nothing at all.
If you want to try and make it work, she needs to see a therapist and both of you need to see a marital counsler.
Take it from someone who knows, its not the her first time and more than likley it wont be the last time. she is selfish she obviously doesnt really care about you, your child or your familly. i say be strong and move on kick the b#tch out and find some one who loves and respects you.

Answer 10

Wow this is a hard one... If it were me I would leave because once a cheater always a cheater.... And she was not thinking about any one but her self ....She not only cheated on you she cheated on her baby..... That makes her very selfish and now she is self serving again by asking you to forgive her....If you do decide to forgive her than you must do it with all of your heart and never bring it up again and work on the relationship..Trust is going to be hard won and will take awhile and you will get frustrated and will want to give up...If you do get this way then you are not ready to let it go and you need to leave...Good Luck to you ....