I booked a ticket for my daughter to visit MI over spring break yesterday. I am paying for it and she is going to visit her grandmother. I thought it would be a good change for her and she is off for one week anyway.
My ex-husband has left me about 4 voicemails and said that he does not want her traveling to MI over spring break. He feels that she should be focusing on school, piano and her ACT. She is retaking the ACT in Feb before spring break.
He thinks that we are trying to kick her out of the house. Its not that at all. I am literally shaking after listening to his angry, mean voice on the voicemail. He is very, very angry.
I don't know how to handle it. I am thinking of canceling the ticket because her father does not want her to go. I try to do good things for my daugher who is 15 and I get flack from her dad???
He is also upset because I have not purchased a piano for my daughter to play on. He has asked me to..
2007-12-17 04:24:05 · 5 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sound like your daughter can really use the break and the change of pace, and having her visit her grandparents is a wonderful way of connecting with their sweet wisdom. A little brain-dump in a quiet setting will do your daughter a world of good.
DO NOT GIVE IN TO HIS BLACKMAIL! He is your "ex" for a darn good reason. Remember that. His demented little mind will come up with any way to justify inserting himself into your situation so he can control it. Chances are, if nothing is going on, he will invent something. He will try anything to challenge and usurp your authority. What an angry little dictator.
Your daughter is old enough to say whether or not she wants to ever see him again. If he gets out of hand, you can go back to court and specify "supervised visitation only" and make him meet her down at the courthouse with a cop in the room... I would imagine that would really put his panties in a wad!
Why the heck hasn't he bought her a piano if it is so important to him? Another attempt at control.
Shoot, you can buy her a nice little keyboard to practice on at home or rent a piano if she needs it that bad. Check Craigslist.org for some deals.
2007-12-17 08:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know you are doing the right thing for your daughter, then try not to let your ex's anger get to you. I would have thought the key thing here is what des your daughter want to do? Girls need grandmothers as well as pianos. Does she want to go visit her grandmother? Would she prefer to dedicate herself to these other things? (I don't know what ACT is). And why has your husband asked you to purchase the piano? Can you afford it, while he can't? If you promised you would and you haven't, and your daughter's musical career is suffering, then I guess he has a right to be angry.
It's difficult to advise without knowing more about the situation. I would say, just be sure that you are spending your money on things that your daughter wants, not on things that you want for her. Is it possible she doesn't want these things, but is unwilling to confront you, and is complaining to her father instead? or has he always been an angry control-freak?
2007-12-17 12:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by clio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he doesn't sound like he wants her to visit. And that's not going to be a good environment for your daughter. I'm sorry you're dealing with his anger. But you have to protect your daughter from it. So next time, before planning a trip, find out when he's in a better mood to welcome her. And if he never is, then she's better off without seeing him. At least she has a loving mother. That's more than some kids have. So focus on your daughter. And only deal with your ex when he can be nice. You don't deserve that.
2007-12-17 12:35:31 · answer #3 · answered by trapeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did he send his money for piano if he did you need to buy it if not its your money your daughter she lives in your house if its not court order he be a part of decisions that affect her than let her go
2007-12-17 12:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why he's your ex. Get a restraining order. Let him deal with his own issues.
2007-12-17 14:13:28 · answer #5 · answered by dmj_369 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋