I am 17 and married. My husband and I want to have a baby.When would be the best time to have a baby?

Question

We know that we have everything it takes to have a baby; godparents(for babysitting) ,jobs, money, a home, clothes, food, support from our family and friends, ect. We know that we are emotionally, physcially,and socially ready to have a baby. We've also taken parenting classes. So when would be the best time to have a baby?

Answer 1

How long have you two been married? I would recommend after the first two years, since those are the hardest and it will be even harder after a baby.

Answer 2

believe it or not... though you have all the physical things and desire to have a baby... you do not have the life experiences behind you to chose to have a baby at this point.

many teen mothers turn out to be good ones... but there is sooo much maturing you do in your late teens and early twenties. i'm not sayinig that you are "immature"... but truly there are neurological changes that you have not made yet... just like there is a certain age for puberty, and an average age for a baby to start walking... you can't force certain things.

you guys have so much time, you're so young!!! parenthood is the most awesome thing ever, i can understand why you're in a rush to get there... but married life can be so cool w/out kids too... i was married at 21, first child at 26 (although she passed away), 2nd child at 28.

in our first few years of marriage, we had such an awesome time!! traveling the world, exploring new things locally, doing a ton of stuff that there is no way we would have been able to do if we'd had a child. some people do travel and lead exciting lives with children, but that is not what happens to most of us when the kids come. my life is far from boring, but I have not dusted off my passport, or had the opportunity to use anymore than an overnight bag in many years.

it takes a lot more than babysitters, jobs, cash, house, clothes, food, family and friends... emotionally you may or may not be, won't know until it happens and your stressed out at 3 am for the 19th night in a row, physically you maybe- but so is a 13 year old........socially: i highly doubt it, you're not old enough to vote, to drink, what if your 21st birthday comes and you don't have a babysitter - won't that suck? besides at 17, you can't know your husband yet... not really, even if he's been your boyfriend since 5th grade, people change & grow... you guys should do more of that together before having someone else to be responsible for.... that stuff is more important than the godparents and the money.

when is the best time? I'd say wait 5 years... 5 years of marriage is good for people who marry much younger than 25 years old.

Answer 3

I would suggest waiting until you two have been together for 2+ years or so, those years are the hardest and it gets even harder after you have a baby, trust me.
I got married when i was 18 years old and both my husband and i wanted a child desperately, well a year of being married i found out i was pregnant. We were sooooo excited and soo happy. Well she was born and things were great..........but not for long. We had quite a few problems with our daughter which caused her to cry non stop, we never got any sleep, we were stressed, we were fighting/arguing alot, and we were broke. I love my daughter to death but after she was born it seemed like everything was falling apart. Having a baby puts strain on a marriage and can actually hurt newly weds, it can cause alot of problems. I know your probably sitting there saying oh that won't happen with us, we love eachother too much well i thought that too but i was sooo wrong. Let me ask you; What job can you actually get at 17 years old? flippin burgers at some fast food restaurant will not cut it, babies are extremely expensive. Do you and your "husband" have a house of your own or do you still live with parents? Have either of you finished school or graduated? Ever thought about college? You think your are physically, emotionally ,"socially" ready for a baby but are you sure about that? Having a baby is a huge thing and it changes your life, you wouldn't understand what i mean until you have a baby of your own. There is sooo much i can say to you right now but it's not like your going to actually listen. Just don't go jumpin into things too quickly you are soo young still and you have your whole life ahead of you, you have forever to have baby. You should be out doing what normal 17 year olds do, not at home with a husband and a child. Believe me, i know i got married way to quickly and beared my child too quickly, i wish i would have waited and just had fun being a young single person instead of being at home tied down with a husband and a child. I mean i love them both more than anything but i will always wonder what if i never got married? or had baby? i would still be out partying and having fun like i use to, i miss it...alot, but that is no longer my life.
hope i helped!

Answer 4

I was 17 when I got pregnant and 18 when i had my son. The best advice I can give you is wait until you are financialy stable and can provide on your own for your baby, because they are very expensive! but if you really are looking to have a baby now then just get ready to take on the responsibilities of staying home and taking care of them and get ready to grow up fast. I love that i had my son at an early age ad I wouldn't change it for the world but just reallt talk to your spouse and make sure its what you reallt want RIGHT NOW and if you can provide for a baby. Now if your asking about when its good to have a baby like year wise i would try to shoot for being pregnant throught the winter, because I was pregnant through the summer and when I had my son was when all the cold and flu season came and he has had a tough time keeping off the colds. But whatever your decision is going to be good luck and best wishes to you!

Answer 5

Get a puppy (sincerely). From a shelter. Then treat it like a baby. You can't leave the house without finding someone for it. Feed it every 3 hours. Set alarm for diaper changes 8-10 times a day, and a separate alarm for colic and sometimes those alarms will ALL go off at once. Start putting all the money into a savings account that you will be putting into a baby every month. And pad it a little, because you will need it and when you do have a baby, you'll have a big fat nest egg. Literally, write down a budget and put the money away. IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT NOW, YOU WON'T HAVE IT THEN. Day care money, include whatever the average day care is in your area (you may have a cheap sitter now, but if something happens you need to prepare for the local average). It was really important to me to stay at home, If this is your choice, you should start stashing your entire salary now, you won't have it later. Then there's diaper/wipe money (your baby may be allergic to a cheaper brand, so plan for the more expensive ones) or if you choose to cloth diaper, there's a big initial investment and extra laundering daily. Sounds like you're going to work so there's formula for at least day hours, night also if you're not going to breastfeed. If you have medical insurance take that monthly expense and deductibles out, if not find it (a trip to the emergency room for a midnight 105 fever will cost at least a few thousand, not to mention if the baby has medical issues, BAM instant debt). Baby paraphanalia (swings, carseats - which they outgrow so plan for several sizes, crib, swing, etc...clothes, birthday parties. Even if you get things used, it cost $ and if you have grandparents/godparents who are willing to help financially you need to plan as if they will not be there. THINGS CHANGE that you cannot possibly foresee at 17 or 37 (my mom died at 55 and I divorced after 18 years of marriage). If you plan consertively, pad your budget, you will be pleasantly surprised if you plan well, if you do not you will be screwed and it is simply not kind or responsible to get pregnant on purpose without making an informed choice including research and later expect family (or godparents) or society to pay for your choices and lack of planning. Oh and as someone mentioned there's that "stuff". Dance lessons, sports, friends birthday parties, OH SCHOOL stuff! That's always $20 here and there it adds up. If they need help, tutoring, if they're gifted field trips and extracurricular. If they compete in sports or academic, sing/play an instrument (private lessons and instruments anyone?) plan big $ for out of state stuff because you are not going to want your child to miss out on opportunities. Cars (even used), college. OH OH....ALMOST FORGOT. Your expenses and inflation. Yea, you have a car NOW, but if it dies, plan for another car payment (do that average thing again), gas prices/ food, rent utilities got up. You going to buy a HOUSE at some point? Welp, you gotta' have closing costs and down payment (cha CHING.), then there's maintenance, air conditioners and carpet do not last forever. And making $10/hour may sound like a lot of money now, but if you do not have advanced training or an education, you're not going to go much past that. Look at the top out rate of your current jobs, add inflation and all the expenses mentioned above and see how it plays out on paper. And one last note. All that stuff you said you'd NEVER do or say, you will most definitely at some point do and say. Yes, you can do it without the above, but why? And none of the above takes into consideration that you're making a decision based on 17 year old thoughts. Which are good ones, just not permanent. Your desires and plans will change well into your 20's. I waited until 30 to have my kids. SO GLAD. You will rarely find someone say they wished they had theirs earlier, I've known a lot of teen moms who say they wished they would've waited. You are at a GREAT place to put a lot of thought into it and make a planned choice. Good luck and happy saving (sincerely).

Answer 6

Your profile states that you are a senior in high school. What is the rush to have a baby? Yeah, they are cute but they are a lot of work. And to be "Socially" ready for a child means you are ready to give up your social life. I can count on one hand how many times we have gone out to dinner in the last 4 years. We were married for three, almost four years before having my daughter. We had time to establish our relationship before going into the trials of parenthood.

Wait. There is no rush. Finish your schooling (hopefully get a degree), spend some time with your husband, enjoy being young!

Answer 7

I personally think 17 is WAAAAYYY to young to be married, your barely legal to do anything at that age.... But I know everyone is different, and everyones lives are different... and please take into consideration, I do not know your, nor does anyone else who answers your question, so any advise I give you is strictly my own opinion, so please dont be offended. I think you should definatley wait until after your 21 to have a baby. I have a couple different reasons for that. The first one is you are not allowed to go to a bar/club with your friends and have a good time.... I dont know how old your husband is but, i seen 2 marriage fail cuz the couples both married before they turned 21 and didnt know how going out to a bar and be legal to get in or a dance club and they had such a great time when they did finally get to be 21 that they focused all their time on going out and partying cuz they were legal to do so, that the marriage fell apart and they divorced. So take that into consideration, also in one particular instance, one spouse turned 21 before the other, so the other spouse felt left out and abandoned every weekend cuz they were not legal to get into the bar and were left at home. So just keep that in mind. Also, I know you've heard it before but babies are expensive and I doubt both of you probably dont make the best of money since you barely make minimum wage most likely. So think of that. Take this time to enjoy being with each other and finding better jobs, possibly enrolling in school so you dont look back and say "I wish I did things differently"... and you really never get that chance again once a baby is in the picture cuz you will need to spend all your time focusing on the baby... good luck though!

Answer 8

First off, congratulations. I'm sure you probably had family members or friends with some doubts and that was probably tough. It's great that you're taking parenting classes and are aware that it's a big undertaking. You are young and recently married I'm assuming? Take your time and enjoy getting to know each other in the ways that you will by living with someone (having to make decisions together, paying bills, learning to deal with each other's quirks etc....). Once a baby is here your time alone with each other will vanish. Do it when you feel like you will be best able to cope with becoming a selfless as possible and good luck, babies are wonderful!

btw: I was 19 when I had my first, some teenagers are very capable of being good parents. There are plenty of reasons to argue that one should wait but when my youngest graduates high school, I'll only be 42.

Answer 9

I would highly recommend waiting at least a year. Marriage is difficult, adding a baby to the mix makes the small stresses seem even bigger. My husband and I got pregnant when we were planning our wedding so we got to be newlyweds and parents all at the same time, and its hard.
Also, what is your work situation?? I worked very hard before the baby got here to ensure I could be at home with her and breastfeed, to give her the best possible start. If you have a baby now would you have to put it in daycare while you work?? Wouldn't you rather wait a year or two and make sure that you guys are financially ready for you to stay home and be with your child- at least for the first year?

Answer 10

"We know that we are emotionally, physcially,and socially ready to have a baby."

It sounds like you've already made up your mind, which is a shame. I'm not really sure why you're asking the question.

I had mine at 20 and it was still too young. It was a tremendous amount of work to finish college while raising a small child. You have no idea how hard it is until you try it-- you're better off waiting until you are financially stable (and financially stable does not just mean "having a job"-- it means being able to clothe, feed, and otherwise support another human life, which costs many tens of thousands of dollars).

Get a degree FIRST. Being married doesn't mean you're old enough or financially prepared enough for a child. You're not even old enough to have a high school diploma.

Answer 11

17 is a young age. I am not saying that you are going to ruin your life, but you have the rest of your life to be having a baby and taking care of it. Once you have it, you will no longer to live your life like you should - a teenager. You will never get these years back. Enjoy it now and when your life seems to feel very stable (probably in your 20s) you will be able to make a better decision. Also, since you're 17, I assume you haven't started your career yet. Get everything settled in your life, then you can make a better decision. We can give all the advice we can but in the end it's your choice. Good luck.