getting divorce???

Question

My wife and i agreed upon of terminating our marriage, as it is not working out at all. but we have a son, and we don't want any expensive lawyer's fees and a long hearing. we also agreed upon and will be talking about "who gets what? and how?", so i think we're gonna filing for an uncontested divorce.
I have supported her since 2003, she was taking home schooling and i was wokring 2 jobs so i could support her. this is very complex, so cut things short, last she was working but got layed off and she wanted to go back to school, and until now i am still working two jobs to suspport everything, and she's complaining, about me not doing anything at home, not helping out with laundyr and stuff, not cleaning the house and everything...but i cooked for them for a week after i get home around midnight. and sometimes when i'm at home i do some laundry too, i don't even have time for myself anymore, i don't go out with my friends, infact i don't have a social life, and when it come to her....

she could go out anytime with her friends...and i don't get to do that. cuz' i want to spend the time with them everytiem i'm at home.

and and whenever i do get a nice days off, i wanted my family to od something together, like camping out, but she doesn't want to do that, and even for a short toboganning with my son she doesn't wanna coem with us, but she forces me to do all the stuff she wants... i don't get it.....i don't know my life is ****** up.....
pretty much i'm gonna be bombarded with these fking alimony, child support and all those sht.....which i don't get it, i tried supporting hte family and tried harder to keep my family intact, and all the court cares about is for the male to pay for all the support sht to the female.... i don't get it..............
i don't trust her with the money, she might just buy it with all the freking bags you see in the mall and whatever...., my life is fcked up isn't.. i', trapped in this **** hole. the only important thing in my mind right,

is my son, everytime i think about this ( iknow i'm a man, but i cnaa't helpt but to get teary) especially now i know that i will be away with my son and only get to see him once in awhile......
this is the reason why i'm holding onto this relationship, cuz i don't want her to be chaisng me for support anymore, i could still support my kid i terms of clothing, food, and some other necessities.......... but for the spousal/ alimony support, that i don't want to give her... this is enough........ i want to live life again, regain my social life, as get out of this misery....i want to sleep atleast 6 hours a day not 4-5 and not work 6-7 days a week.....i'm tired, i've been working liek a dog for the past fckin 4 years and counting.................................any unbias advice would really help as this is my side of the story , and you haven't herad hers yet....... help.

i am leaving this open for a week as i would need a lot of advice. Thanks for all your support.

just to add a little bit of details, i live in manitoba Canada, anyone knows how it works down here? (about getting a divorce)

Answer 1

Once you make that final decision of DIVORCE things get really nasty. I had an uncontested divorce but it was still nasty.
You have done all you can. You cannot do anymore. You need to discuss other living arrangement for either herself or you or divide the house so that you can have privacy and your own time. I had two friends who couldn't afford two places during and right after their divorces and stayed in the same house. It didn't work.
Take care of your own things and take care of your Son. She doesn't want to be with you anymore and the two of you have decided to split. You owe her nothing anymore. Just work things out for your Son.
Let her b***h and scream but she'll get tired of it. Divorce is not fun by any means. You need to have a social life so when you are out on your own you'll be happy. You always need to take care of yourself as I am sure you have figured out that no one else ever really will. You have to love yourself too. As long as your Son's needs are being met I don't think you need to do much else.
File as soon as possible unless there is a chance for reconciliation. Always try everything possible before you totally give up. Have you tried counseling or anything yet? Make sure your Son is OK and then go on with whatever you choose.
People will really use them if you let them. Let me tell you that one!!! Good luck and God bless!!!

Answer 2

here in Florida a couple doesn't have to agree on a divorce it's done as long as one wants it... Hey it will end up in a battle if you both get attorneys..

I've been through it, most of us have, my second wife is sooooo much better then my first was.

take a break to think about this, get away, go to somewhere warm like the Florida Keys and if you do nothing but think about her while you're there then divorce is probably not a good idea.

Answer 3

Wauu! you got in hands a hard problem to sort out I'm afraid.
That isn't so easy as you are thinking!
First of all although been a uncontested divorce you have to go to the court to solve the problem about your son and they (the judge) will writing your rights to see your child and determine which days you can get him to you to pass sometimes together.
You will know how much money you have to give to your child's mother to his food and his education...It's complicated because you don't know what your wife gone do on last minute...I suggest to you stay alert.

Answer 4

Women will complain about you no matter how hard you work, so it's really moot trying to explain it to her or us.

You say you want it uncontested, etc. That's not how it will end up. You have a son, remember?

I feel your pain. I know what you are going through. Why do we men do the right thing and marry when a few years down the road we get hit with this?

Oh Catharine (below),
I hear you trying to play the "I had a baby" martyr card. Well, men do just as well if not better with babies. Sure we don't have boobs, but that aside, usually WE are the ones getting up to tend to the baby or you.

Answer 5

Hunny, if you divorce who is going to support her, tell her that you can't do it all and she needs to help, if she is taking classes at home, she can do all the cleaning. When you file make sure that you include everything you can in the forms, but you will have to attend meditation for the child and support for him and visitation and custody issue, it usually takes 6 months to a year. You are letting her run all over you, and you need to stop it. Good Luck

Answer 6

You can't do anymore than what your doing, except for maybe spending time with your son. If she chose to stay home and continue her education then I would assume that she is taking care of the home, since you are seeing to the family's financial welfare. I hate to say it, but you may get stuck continually supporting her because she will probably still use school as an excuse for not working. I would insist upon her getting a part-time job atleast to supplement her own income. I don't think it is unreasonable for her to get a part-time job. Many people nowadays have a full-time job and go to school. They even have schools that cater to "working adults", like University of Phoenix and Kaplan University. I would set very clear and concise timeline of how long you are willing to help her in the form of spousal support.

Answer 7

May be having this divorce will be the best thing for both of you, she not happy with you now and you are doing two jobs and helping with the house work, it don't matter what you do I don't think that you will make her happy.

Answer 8

I am not sure about Canada, but I live in GA. What I did was, I went to the library and looked up the laws for divorcing int he state book. THey have in there pages that you can copy and print (small fee) and fil out yourself. Thats what I did. I filed my own divorce and it was less then 150 total. I think that if you guys have sat down and worked out who get whats, then you shoul dbe able to file it yourself. BUT if you think that you wil lbe having to pay out all this unnecessary money for your ex wife, then I would go consult an attorney (free consultation) and see what they say. Its really tricky when children are involved, plus with her not working. As for your time, stop asking her to go places with you. You just start going with the children. Let her be by herself.

Answer 9

What exactly is your question???? From what I can see, this is not going to end up an "uncontested" divorce. You might think you will get along through all this, but don't be surprised if everything comes back to bite you in the butt.

Answer 10

there are simple divorce kits avaliable i believe in office
depot. how she can complain to you after you working two
jobs to put her through school not once, but twice is
beyond me.
i don,t even know how you have the time or energy to cook
or do laundry.
she needs to realize she is being totally unfair.
most men would not work two jobs so their ex-wife
to be could go back to school again. in a polite
fashion tell her that, plus stress you are exhausted
when you get off of work and you are doing all you
can regarding houswork. good luck.