For the last 20 yrs I have been treated for MDD.I still think about suicide NOTA CRYFORHELP What should I do?

Question

I Have tried zoloft,paxil,lexapro,wellbutrin,celexa,trazadone,depakote,lithium,lamictal,stellazine,respiridol,cymbalta,adavan,klonapin,valium,and effexor to name a few. Not all at once but throughout the years. I have had group therapy. one on one therapy,hospitalizations and no matter what I try I still fantasize about my death. I currently have a cronic illiness that will end up in death anyway. What should I do? Am I wasting your tax dollars by living? Is suicide in my situation such a bad thing?Am I not a coward for never being succesfull? Will further treatment help.? Is EST worth it? Serious responses only! No hubub about how life is so worth living I dont need fluffy newage fantasies of emotion.

Answer 1

I suggest that you completely and unilaterally accept your current state.

It might be dark and forlorn, but it's your life and your experience.

To me, you don't need to want to die. Don't worry. You eventually will. But, in the meantime, you can squeeze out some joy from your daily routine.

And, since you believe that you have hit bottom, jettison the mood altering drugs. Instead, feel life in its natural and unadulterated state.

Success is not a measure of a man's worth. We all tend to stumble through life as if we were in a drunken stupor. Some of us luck out and catch a break. Some make their own breaks.

In your case, you can choose to know that you did touch people's lives as you meandered through. I know that you did feel the euphoria of success and the trauma of failure.

We all do. And, then, we go on.

Answer 2

For me personally I would rather live, experience every last breath I could and make the best of it since life is limited but death is eternal. And screw what it costs... money is something we can't take with us anyway.

But that is my personal opinion for me. It's your life and your decision in the end.