My wife left me for about a month. During that time, she filed for divorce, and took my kid away from me. While we were togetehr we were having problems, and i think from that she truned to another guy. Im not sure if things went on, but i have a feeling they might of. After a month of problems, that is when she left. After almost getting the divorce, she decided to come back, and its been almost a month since then. The way i feel is that im afraid all the time that she will leave me again, that she really doenst love me, and the worst of it all is that she is cheating on me. Although she is around me all the time when im home, there is the times when im at work. I dont think she is, but my mind wanders about the possiblities, especailly since it was there when we were split up. I also caught her in lies a couple of times. Furthermore, everytime i bring it up, i get yelled at, she gets mad and says that i need to trust her in order to move on, and taht nothing happened...
2007-12-17 03:20:10 · 12 answers · asked by supremyecy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I found an email, among others, that have her writing to her friend saying that they kissed and cuddled on this specific night. I approach her, she gets mad and says why you snooping, and still sticks to her guns saying nothign happened, and she just wrote that, it didnt really happen. Anyway, back to the future... i just try to express my feelings and she just doesnt want to talk about the past, she says in order for us to work, we need to leave the apst in the past, and work on our future. Its just so hard for me when i feel that eveyrthing we had she thru away, she even told me she didnt love me at all during that time and felt free. i feel that how can she love me the same now, she just says i came back didnt i. I just want to stop being so insecure, but its hard when i have unanswered questions, and she is emtionally detached when we talk about what happened. im scared of this happening again so much that its taking over my life, i have trust issues with her, and thinking leaving
2007-12-17 03:23:17 · update #1
should i try to move on with her and work things out, swe have a kid together. She tells me to ttrust her she wants to be with me, and work things out. but its hard given what happened, WHAT SHOULD I DO???
2007-12-17 03:24:08 · update #2
Why do people insist they have to stay w/ someone becuz of children, I did that and it was a huge mistake. U need to find someone that will appreciate u, she does not respect u or far most love u. There is someone out there that will treat u as u should be treated, lose her and wait for that person. The only good outcome of ur relationship w/ this b*tch was ur child appreciate that and move on.
2007-12-17 03:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me when I tell you this, you are feeling insecure because SHE wants you to. I read everything you wrote and this sounds like a female who wants the control in the relationship. She may love you but HER insecurity makes her want control and you played right into her hands. What you should have done when she left and was with this other guy was not make it easy for her to get back in. Can you not see that she is playing with your emotions? She should have been the one begging for your forgiveness, instead she says to you "havn't I come back", she said this in a way as if YOU should be gratful she came back, even after all she has done. Stop being the pushover she has come to know you as and take control of your emotions. Tell her that YOU have been hurt by her behaviour and find it difficult to trust her and that you need time apart until she can prove you can trust her. And stand firm when you say this, no matter what she does or who she goes with. She needs to know that you will no longer allow her to play these emotional games with you and she also needs an incentive to grow up and regain the respect she lost for you. Take care and I do hope you at least consider all I have said to you, I just know I am right on this one.
2007-12-17 04:22:00 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my husband too, mostly because he was abusive, controlling and jealous. Then when I left him, he told his whole family and all of our friends that I ran off with some guy-which was not true. And later he told me he lied about that to protect his ego, since no woman could stoop so low as to leave him. Now i am DEFINITELY filing for divorce because he didn't trust me and he was dishonest.
If you can trust her and truly love her, then stay, but seek counseling. You feeling insecure is not abnormal, and only time will heal you. However, true love does not include suspicion and mistrust.
If you have doubts, put an end to it or you will always suffer, she will always suffer and she will probably eventually leave you anyway since she feels you don't trust her. I wish you the best in any decision you make.
2007-12-17 03:36:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off don't listen to box of rain your first comment because he give bad comment to everyone. You need to move on your wife is selfish and she is using you for your money and time. Spend your life with someone more loving leave her this time and don't come back and don't take her back you need to be alone. Trust me in do time you will lose the feels for her but is will always hold a place in your heart because she's your wife. Move on today.
2007-12-17 03:35:23 · answer #4 · answered by LivingMyLife 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should kick her @ss out to the curb. She cheated. She's not worth having in your home. Get a divorce. And for crying out loud don't let her YELL at you because you caught her. Get some stones man.
2007-12-17 04:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is lying to you, to your face with no remorse., there is no going back from that, TRUST is GONE..staying will ruin your self-esteem and she will continue to get her way. Sorry to say it but it's time to call the lawyer, know your options and keep all that information you have on her cheating b/c she is going to try to take you to the cleaners....i am really sorry for you...Good luck but KNOW this YOU deserve better...
2007-12-17 06:16:32 · answer #6 · answered by sensually... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife isn't being a team player....If you BOTH want to get your marriage back on track you should BOTH go to a marriage counselor...There is a lot of distrust in your marriage....and I can certainly understand why you have trust issues with your wife....She is lying to you....She is not validating your feelings and is instead defending herself when she is the one that turned to another man. If she refuses to be a participant in our marriage and refuses to seek counseling...then perhaps you would be better off without her...
2007-12-17 03:32:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get counseling and keep in mind if you can't trust her there won't be anything to rebuild. I know that's harsh but it's the truth. A marriage without trust is not worth having. Good luck.
2007-12-17 03:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by sassypurplecat 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were at divorce point you need to seek counselling before you begin to heal. At least that way the discussions will be controlled instead of discussions that blow out of all proportion and end with one of you leaving. You need to talk and be honest with each other. Good Luck x
2007-12-17 03:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by shaunie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like youre a complete pushover and shes wearing the pants in this relationship, did you forgot youre the man and shes supposed to be sorry and a little bit submisive after what she did? take a action BE A MAN!!!
2007-12-17 04:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by suehellen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋