Child support question??

Question

Why do the custodial parent ALWAYS want more? I was a single mom of 4, I received (when he would pay) $205.00 per month. I never complained. I went out and got a job and took on MY RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, he helped in the making them, BUT they are MY children. Why don't women today want to get out and work and take care of their own? Why do they want the fathers to pay ungodly amounts, (they are barely left enough to live on themselves) and still cry it isn't enough? If you can't take care of your kids, then maybe you shouldn't have them. When your married having children, you should ask yourself, 'can I support this child without help?' BEFORE you decide to have children. What is up with people now? Are people really this money happy, that they stopped caring about what they are doing to the other parent? Men should pay child support, BUT IT SHOULD BE REASONABLE, not outragious.

GEORGE...they are MY children. I am the one who GAVE BIRTH TO THEM. I am the one who WANTED to raise the children, again MAKING THEM MINE. They are his as far as he is their father. He got all the visitation he wanted, when he wanted it without question. But when it came time to make DECISIONS, they were mine to make. He was kept informed of my decisions, thereby MAKING THEM MY KIDS AGAIN. And that is how most custodial parents are concerning their children. They don't ask 'permission' of the non-custodial parent, so the kids are theirs, just like my kids were/are mine. And that is how that part of it works, just ask any custodial parent.

Answer 1

I'm in agreement with you.

Answer 2

it has been my experience that some women ( not all) want the finer things in life, cell phones, pc's, new car's, etc etc. In a fast paced world today everyone lives above their means and usualy with a credit card. When it comes down to living expenses they simply just dont have enough left over to pay the bills and keep the family fed. Every lady I dated after my divorce had money issues, but almost all of them had a cell phone, nice home, nice everthing and the husband was paying ungodly ammounts in child support and the ex-wife was constantly taking them back to court for more money. They fail to see their responsibility as 1/2 theirs, only that the sorry sob and I arent together and hes gonna pay. Most people do not know that it takes 1.5 million dollars to raise a child from birth thru college (wall street journal). And in reality most women think the husband should pay 2/3 of this ammount when divorced. and If these people would stop charging things and come back to reality of what their bank accounts can handle we would see better benifits for the children. Now after my ex got past her all about me attitude and started focusing on our son, rebudgeted and started living within her means, she quit fighting and taking me back to court, In turn this left me with more money, and I inturn started helping buy him extra things outside child support and our focus changed to our child. and it wound up being a win win for my son. but we had to quit fighting each other before this could be possible and we both had to live within our means.

Answer 3

Child support and custody are two different issues. Both have to be court ordered. Since your father was court ordered to pay child support to your mother, that's what he's doing. Since you mother was granted custody of you via another court order, you are living with her. If you want to live with your father, and your mother is not willing to allow you to do so, he would need to go back to court and petition that the original ruling giving your mother custody be overturned. In order for that to be successful, he would have to prove that living with your mother is a danger to your life and safety. So no, you saying you don't like your mom (as all children your age do sooner or later) is not going to make a judge overrule an existing custody order.

Answer 4

I agree with that, I chose to have my daughter and I am totally responsible for her. It also sucks to be the man with a child trying to receive money from a woman.

My boyfriend is supposed to receive $77 a month from his ex for their son (court ordered) and she has told us that she won't pay it unless it is taken out of her check. She won't keep a job long enough for garnishing paperwork to go through. Plus she claims that he gets everything he needs at her house. She has 3 other kids and is on every kind of state aid possible. She even claimed her oldest (who we have primary custody of) and they garnished $200 from my boyfriends check (he was ordered to pay $500 a month). Plus, she expects to get her son whenever she wants and expects dad to pay for everything concerning their son. This is no big deal, because money isn't the problem, but its the principle of it.

It makes me so mad that she didn't have to prove that she had her son, but my boyfriend spent 2 weeks getting the information to prove that we have had him the last 3 years.

I have another friend who has his son and his ex is court ordered to pay $36 a month. What the h*ll is that suppose to cover? My worthless ex wouldn't even help pay doctor bills when I had my daughter. I have even had people tell me that he didn't have to because he wasn't the one pregnant.

Plus as far as people complaining about not having enough cs to cover bills and daycare. The ex shouldn't have to pay all the cost of daycare for a person to work. Plus, household bills (lights,water,heat,rent,cable,internet,etc.) is something that a person should be able to pay on their own. A child does not make those bills any more expensive. To me cs should go strictly to food, clothes, 1/2 of daycare, extracurricular activities, toys and such.

I'm at home right now taking online courses so I can stay home and take care of my daughter. Daycare here is $400 a month and of most jobs that are available that would be a good portion of my check, plus gas to drive there and back. Not worth it.

Answer 5

I think in a perfect world parents that divorce would have both custody of children. Share half of the cost and not bash one another for the crummy job they are doing. But to generalize the situation and go far enough to thinking that children are a possession of either spouse is ridiculous. That only puts more stress on them, the children. Children didn't ask to be born they were born out of two people's decision. Not on unless you can impregnated yourself without the need of a sperm then you can make statements like they are mine I had them and all that self indulging and self gratifying BS. For one minute thank of what children are entitle to. They are entitle to happiness. To have parents that care about them. To have both parents in their lives.It is their need for their mental health.
I think both parties are wrong. Maybe instead of thinking of how I could swindle more money from my ex. Or how to manipulate the fact that just because they came out of me they are mine. We should all think of Them.

Answer 6

I agree with you 100%, as a former single mom I never received a penny from welfare or childsupport, I worked for a living! I have two co-workers who are so full of spite & hatred for their ex,s, & they always talk about themselves, its all about them! They have no problems getting their nails done at $30.00 a pop, or when it,s time to get their hair done, no problem! & lets not forget when one of them bought a $300.00 designer purse, but when its time to buy the children something, what do they do? whine about the little money they receive in child support, & this gal gets $550.00 per month for one child & medical insurance, & she claims its not enough & she,s taking her ex back to court for more, as she drives off in her Lexus! It urks me! If I could sit down with one of these judges & tell him or her the truth about this girl it would be so great, as she claims in court that she cant even afford food or clothes for her child? & You want to know whats gonna happen? chances are high that she will get more, I feel so sorry for these men. But I do believe in what comes around goes around, kids grow up fast, & one day her child will turn 18 & the checks will stop rolling in, then whats she gonna do?

Answer 7

Well I go by what the court says is reasonable. My ex hubby pays over $500 for our daughter plus he has to have health insurance for her. He makes almost twice what I do and if it wasn't for his money we wouldn't be-able to live in the house we live in. I rent from my employer and get a hefty discount, you can't find rent in my neighborhood for what I pay. He lives in the city and mine is more rural so there aren't as many job opportunities. I love my daughter and I still love my ex I don't want him to suffer financially but I worry about my daughter. So I don't think that it is unreasonable to get what I do get. They go by what each parent makes he has 67 percent and I have 33 percent of the 800 or so that they say she should have a month. We both understand that he is financially responsible for her as well as I am.

Answer 8

I totally agree, I had court ordered CS, never got it. But I worked and raised my children on my own. Never complained and still don't. My kids turned out great with Know help from their father. They are adults with families of their own & very successful.
We also pay over $500.00 a month for a 17 yr old that we have never met & probalby never will. Her mind has been severly posined by mother & she wants nothing to do with her father. We pay gladly & look forward to the day she turns "18".

Answer 9

Well to answer your question most women want their ex to pay a high amount b/c they feel emotionally scared. They feel it is perfectly reasonable to get what they believe they deserve which is a high amount in child support. Most ladies feel they need a big amount so it will help heal the broken heart that most men leave behind when they have CHOSEN to make a baby with this person and then leave her in the cold to raise the child alone. It is principal if he helped make it he should be made to help raise it. Its not fair for the guy to get off scott free while the mother struggles to make ends meat.

Answer 10

I agree. My hubby was paying over 400 a month for 1 child. It is the county that did this. His ez was on county assistance of some kind and they figure that was how much he should pay. At the time he was only making $11 an hour. They need to consider the family of the one paying support too. We all need something to live on.

Answer 11

i read many questions regarding child support a number of women found it ok to spend the child support money on themselves if there is "extra" money left. the question is, how any extra money is possible? others found that it was neccessary for the father to pay for the rent she lives in as it also covers the child, now if you cannot or wont pay for the housing yourself then you shouldnt have the child since you depend on someone to provide a home. i have also seen many mothers sue sperm donors for money, just to get the money, then they dump the child at an adoption center and get the money.