My husband wants space....?

Question

after a year and a half of marriage and a baby on the way. He has gone as far as to say he wants to live on his own b/c he can't get that space at home. I want desperately for things to work. We have gone to counseling and that has helped some, but he still wants to move. I want to know what I need to be doing to give him that space all the while I want to keep him as my husband.

Ex. I try to be very supportive as he has a new job, but I am scared to tell him how proud I am in fear of getting on his nerves.

Last night I went in the living room after not speaking for 5 hours and went to kiss him and he said, DON'T BOTHER ME RIGHT NOW...so I left the room and started crying.

We're not moving apart until January 15. How can I manage this until then giving him the space he needs and w/out me going crazy?

I can't move until Jan. b/c that is when my new place will be available and his too. Until then we really have no where to go. :(

Answer 1

It sounds to me like he doesn't want space---he wants out of the marriage. He's a cruel coward and a liar. There is nothing more that you can do. You've gone to counseling and tried to "give him his space", but it's my opinion that you don't marry someone if you expect to live the life of a person on their own. Your heart and thoughts matter here, and I am so sorry you feel as though you're doing something wrong because you aren't. If I were you, I'd tell him not to bother waiting till January 15th! If telling him you're proud of him and you being supportive of him will get on his nerves, then he isn't worth the powder it would take to blow him to hell. Seriously sweetie, this is marriage and you should not be walking on egg shells in your own home or life! I do hope you are prepared to raise this child alone, because it sounds like you will be doing just that---regardless of whether or not he moves out. I'm sorry for you.

Answer 2

This usually happens when young people rush into marriage without really knowing the reality of being married. Marriage could be wonderful if you are ready and mature enough to know how to make it work. You husband sounds as if marriage and all the obligations and responsibilities that come with it was something he really did not expect. Two people who are inlove and yet too young to see the ups and downs from getting married too soon without ever experiencing life, after a while begin to feel they are stuck in a rut and wonder if they have made a mistake. My heart goes out to you and I can imagine how him feeling this way is breaking your heart. Even so, the worst thing you could do is to force him to stay. If you have any chance at all of him wanting to come back, you need to let him go first. It will be difficult and heartbreaking to say the least, but you know you cannot force him to stay if he really does not want to. He might be just going through a phase. Get all the love and support from family members at this time for you will need help for the upcoming months ahead with the baby. Also, regardless of how your husband feels, he has to be made to share in his responsibilities for you and the baby. Many husband's who have gone through what your husband is right now, usually come back home, although there have been some that don't. Try your best to do what is right for you.

Answer 3

It sounds like you marriage has more problems than the need for space right now. I am actually sorry you are having a baby because a child doesn't need to be brought into this mess.
Your husband obviously doesn't want responsibility for a marriage and a baby so he is dropping out! Not much of a man there!!! He also may be having an affair! What a low life! At any rate he definitely is not ready to be a father and with all this drama going on in your house I doubt you are ready to be a mother (or you would not have gotten pregnant at this time)!
It really sounds like everybody has made some foolish choices and as usual the child will suffer for it!
Do I sound more worried about the child than you or your husband? I AM!
The child deserves a great chance at a great life and a good family as a support system! It does not deserve the selfish petty crap you and your childish immature husband are serving up on a platter!
At this point it seems hubby has made his choice and is leaving so what will you do? I hope for the sake of your child you will grow up and get a spine and forget your piece of crap husband as you divorce his sorry a** and become a mature and good mother for this innocent life you are bringing into this world. So kick his bu** out today. Get a lawyer! Have him barred from your home. Start living for your baby, who is the only one that matters at this point.

Answer 4

Walking on pins and needles is not good for you or the baby. First, he doesn't get to hang-out through Christmas. He needs to go to a friends, brother's or parents house. 15 Jan is today! Change the locks on the doors, pack his stuff and tell him that you are taking back the control. Stop being a dish rag!

Second, what made you marry this guy in the first place, and why didn't you know that he really didn't want to be married and have kids (which is what it sounds like to me)? You should have talked to his ex-girlfriends because you might have been able to see this coming. But, you may have thought that once you got married and once he was going to be a father that he was going to change.

Answer 5

Oh this is incredible..........I hope there is no third party...observe him first, maybe there is a deeper reason, at work? his own family? or financial status? One of these is bothering him, but he is not fair, if he considers you as the better half he should convey the message to you too, after all you are his wife...I just hope nothing serious like he is thinking of a divorce or just making excuses.......dont you have common friends whom you can honestly ask what is happening, maybe he divulge things to his friends and cant tell him to you................, if it was about the baby, thne he is becoming a childih father to be, really immature of him..not for a one year and a half marriage??? you have to face the truth............it either you confront him and know the truth or leave him to his decision..you can measure the situation better than us ..so better do something now than regret later ok??/ we can only do so much here, and worst pour opinions might even confused you more, but you have to weigh the situation yourself...but asking for a space....I myself will give all that space he wants in this world if his reason is truly valid and good for both of us..or the 3 of us....cheer up, you are not alone.....................everything will be alright, draw strength from your baby..........it is the most important event in your life now...............focus on that!!! ok?Good luck!!1

Answer 6

You need to make an appointment with a divorce lawyer to discuss your options. If he loved you he would let you kiss him, and want to share all these months of pregnancy with you. You have tried counseling and that didn't work and it seems that he has made his mind up. Loving families do not just move into seperate households so they can have some space. I would not be surprised if after he moves out you are considered seperated and not long later he serves you with divorce papers.
For the easiest transition visit a divorce lawyer now. Especially since you are pregnant, you need to feel secure financially for your child.

Answer 7

Hun i am sorry but it sounds as if he has someone else. people just don't decide they want to have space like that unless their is someone one the side lines. what and how did he feel when he found out you were pregnant? Maybe he wasn't ready to be a father? I am just trying to get to the bigger picture here. Regardless he needs to suck it up and be a man,, he is the one who is fathering this child and he shouldn't be able to walk away from his responsibility. Now that being said, i think you need to kick him to the curb he is being immature and treating you with no respect. Why is he waiting until January to move? Sounds a little strange to me. Please keep your head up and be brave, you deserve so much better. And i would also tell him hey you want space?!! why not move out today and you can have all the space you need...... God bless and good luck

Answer 8

You have only been married a year and half and the baby is on the way perhaps everything is going so fast that he has gotton frighten or something, As long as the line of communication is open state how you feel and let him know that you are proud of him, He is shuting you out there is something going on here but dont get to upset remember you are carrying a baby and stress is not gonna help you have a healthy baby. just pray to god and he will do the rest.

Best of luck

Answer 9

You're too clinging!
Concentrate on the baby who's on its way, on yourself.
If he wants his space, you can't force him stay with you.
What you should do, is give him the space you want.
Be happy, have more activities outside, laugh a lot even if you don't feel like laughing, go back home later, be mysterious, but most of all be sexier than ever and ignore him. Don't let him know your whereabouts, do stuff you've always wanted to do but never had time to do. Be mysterious, polite, but just ignore him.
Don't cling, give him the space he's asking for,hopefully he'll come back to you.
That's all you can do for yourself i think, because at the moment you're too needy and your husband is acting a complete jerk. Sorry !

Answer 10

Sorry but this behaviour is not normal! He should be supportive of you and the new baby on the way! Sorry to say but sounds like he has some one new in the shadows! If he leaves, I don't think he will be back! What married person needs to move out to have their own space?? Don't sound right to me! Been married over 20yrs 2 kids 2 grand kids and never had one of us thought of moving out to have our own space! Open your eyes here!