am i a lesbian?

Question

i'm 20, never had any partner and dream about females and get very excited. when i was about 8 i used to think i was in the wrong body and should have been a boy. when i got to high school i started thinking that it was strange that i wasn't into boys like all the other girls and felt uncomfortable around girls, so i asked my mum if i was gay, she said i would start to like boys when i was ready so didn't really think about it still thinking , when i was 18, that i would start to like boys but I've only like about two boys and that was their personality. so now I'm 20 and still don't feel anything for guys. i do want a b/f but only to protect me. my brother is gay and so is my cousin. i like the idea of begin a lesbian better than straight. i prefer to listen to female singers. i look at girls alot and never guys. i asked my cousin what she thought and she said that its normal to look at other girls. she wasn't much help and was kind of pissed off cos she didn't know i knew.

my mum int a lesbian and as a big problem with her kids being "different". my family are not ok with it at all. my aunty thinks it just a faze with my cousin. i thought i should of had it figured out by now and my friends think its weird i haven't had a boy friend by now, they talk about guys all the time and i'm not intreseted at all. my brother said i might be asexual, i don't like that idea.

Answer 1

if you look at girls, and think "hey, i'd like to get with that", then yeah, you're gay.

Answer 2

It could be. That you're asking the question suggests that you are very open to the idea.

You might also be bisexual, which is where you can have feelings of attraction towards men or women. Some bisexuals identify themselves to others as being gay because it's easier to explain, but many gay people admit to occasionally being attracted to a member of the opposite gender. It's their choice if they want to act on that.

Sometimes these feelings are smaller - they find them attractive but wouldn't want to actually be physical with them, other times feelings of attraction can be just as strong for both genders. These feelings may change over time too.

Sexuality is a very personal thing, and you probably won't do yourself any favours by picking a title for yourself before you have had experience. I was 18 before I kissed a girl, then three months later I kissed my first man. I enjoyed both, and although I knew it to be true, it took me several years to fully accept this about myself.

Don't go rushing, but it sounds like you're ready for whatever you find about yourself. See if you can find some friends who will go with you to a lesbian friendly club or bar, or maybe to meet some gay/bisexual women that they know. Have a try and see if there are any men you might like to date. Take things slowly and feel what is right for you. If you get more intimate then always use protection, and experiment safely until you find who you are.

Best wishes for the future.

Answer 3

You are quite young to decide what or what not.
Anyway being a lesbian is not a problem or a sickness, being a lesbian is not to be twisted or being after a man is to be right, straight or correct.
Let me explain myself, I was a friend of a lady who most people knew as a strange girl because she was not friendly with boys and used to get dress and cut her hair as a macho.
One day an ugly and thin Polish came to town to work as an Electrical engineer and without waste of time they engaged and got married… by the way, she was about 30.
I had the chance to ask her many years later when I visited then in Italy and she had an astonishing answer… I was sure I did not like men but when I saw my husband for the first time… I saw him so ugly that I felt I had to do something for bringing him happiness and believe it or not the one who was searching for it was me.
So dear friend, you have not said the last work on this matter… A last advice be your yourself and do not judge you are to be or to do like your family or relatives perhaps they also change their mind in the future… remember human beings is unpredictable

Answer 4

Do you have to live a label so young? You are in an unusual situation having gay family members close to you and it might make you question your sexuality more closely. While you are so young and lacking experience hold off from becoming "straight" or gay". You are still learning about yourself. To be honest, male or female I reckon the quality of the relationship is the important thing really. It doesn't always come down to sex...some gay couples don't have sex! If you have people that you dated because you enjoyed their personality that is the best reason.

Why not enjoy peoples company and if you fancy someone go for it whatever gender they are.. if it turns out to be only girls - fine!

Answer 5

You could be a lesbian. Before I noticed that I was bisexual, I found myself wondering why I was so interested in girls. But I could not just let go of guys. So I kept onto both of them. It takes a lot of thinking on your own to find out your true sexuality. I couldn’t ask anybody, I had to think about it by myself. I knew that I did not choose to like girls and boys, its just the way I have always been. When I was really young, maybe around the age of 5, is when I noticed that I liked both girls and guys. So what I want you to do is, just think about what your sexuality is for a while, it helped me out a lot.

Best Wishes.

Answer 6

I think it's because you starte thinking yourself as a guy at such a young age,thus you're prone to prefer liking girl rather than guys.
The fact that you've already liked two boys proves that you're pretty much straight.And apart for liking them for the personalities,you sort of accepted them for what they are - boys.So does the fact that you say you want a b/f only to protect you.
It's not a preference to listen to female or male singers.People have certain choices.
In my opinion,you're les-straight.You're straight as far as I know,from your words.And you're lesbian in the sense that you've thought yourself as a guy.Because you tend to prefer girls than guys more often concludes you as a les-straight.
If you've got any doubts you'd like to clear,feel free to e-mail me.

Answer 7

To be honest i think you are reading waaaay too much into this, It seems like you are trying to persuade yourself to become the 'quirky' gay.
You have grown up around homosexuality so you should know by now that only you can tell if you are.
Also i think that you will find no answers from asking strangers to comment openily on your sexuality. You are just inviting rude & sarcastic comments.

Answer 8

I think this is something that you'll have to find out for yourself. Not rely on strangers opinions. You stated that you liked 2 boys, but for their personality. Perhaps you should find someone like that again. Don't let arbitrary labels define you. Oh, and take it easy with yourself. You have as much right to be in this universe as anyone.

Answer 9

I'm straight and I prefer male singers to female. I also look at guys all the time, usually to compare physical features though, so those aren't good indications. You just need to find someone that makes you happy wether it be male or female.

Answer 10

Quite honestly only you can answer that question. It might be a good point to see a sex therapist, because 9/10 they will help you come to terms with your sexuality. All I can say is try it, to see if that is what you want, then you will know for sure.

Answer 11

Sounds like its possible...or you could be as my friend Matt says 'Asexual' he honestly has no preference. He isn't overly attracted to either sex. Maybe you should date around and find out what fits for you. Its personal, and although I love Yahoo! Answers, not something we can answer for you. Good Luck.