especially if your a person who wants to be percieved in a certain way by people and worry about what people think......you want to ' control ' how others think and see you.
you want people to know the truth not believe others lies and falshood about you.
im angry at the thought alot of people outthere are probabllly influenced by some peoples perception and portrayal of me.....and theres nothing i can do....i feel enraged at the helplessness of it all
2007-12-16 22:05:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You can not control what others say or think about you. But you are responsible and in control of how you react.
Try turning your thinking around. Just think how much power and control you must have over these people that they find it necessary to try and discredit you with others. Think how much control you have that you are what they think about? How envious or insecure they must be? It seems you control them, you reduce them to pettiness.
Next step, do not react or try to defend yourself against their words. Let your actions speak for themselves. Be the bigger person, do not retaliate. That will speak volumes as to your character and just makes them smaller.
I have learned over the years to form my own opinions about people. I do not let gossip influence me as I have found I can like people other friends or co-workers do not.
Don't be so sure that everyone believes what your detractors may be saying. Just prove them wrong.
2007-12-16 22:31:21 · answer #1 · answered by Choqs 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What's behind the gossip? Is it shallow stuff - the result of jealousy or envy? This you can rise above, no problem.
Is there any truth in it? Do you have small character flaws that are being exaggerated by others? These you can do something about... give them less material by improving your character. Make sure anything negative said about you is ALL lies. Truth will out; so make sure it's good.
Is it damaging your reputation in the community and having an effect on your life? If so, get a solicitor involved (or let it be known that you intend to do so).
I don't know how old you are; maybe you could confront the liars and ask them why they are spreading malicious rumours. At the very least, make sure your true personality is out there, being a totally different person from the one your enemies are trying to portray.
2007-12-16 22:20:04 · answer #2 · answered by reardwen 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Smarter way to handle any gossip going behind your back is never give any sort of attention to them.....confront them only if it is damaging your career or relationship. People who spread rumours are shallow, envious and often frustrated with their own life. They take pleasure out of other peoples life.
People who listen to these rumours and act upon them are not worth being friends with. You need not give explanations and justifications to any one. If at all these gossips and rumours are affecting your personal and family life very patiently make your family listen to your side of story. I'm sure they will understand and do not forget the people have a very short lived memory. They forget easily.
You are judged by your accomplishments.
People talk bad mostly of those who are successful in one way or the other....so be happy. Face it with chin high and a big smile.
No one can take your pride away from you if don't let them...
2007-12-16 22:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by Nav 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion..people who lie about others and try to undermine your character are frightened of you and your standing or just hate your guts.
The gossipers spread the lies, but only if they actually think it is true. Its a way for people to digest and chew over information received...these people either know you well or not..so if the rumours are still flying around..then I guess they have deduced that you could possibly have done whatever is being gossiped about...
SO your reputation precedes the gossip...
We all weigh each other up..we like some and do not..we accept faults in some but not in others..the problem comes when the majority are of the same opinion about one person...
Do you need to look a little bit deeper..my motto is "Ignorance is bliss". The signs are there that the majority are against you...
Ride the storm, and make a concious effort to address anything that is true in the gossip..anyway who is feeding back to you..your friends or the enemy?..
If it's your friends take a hint...and take the time to talk to them and straighten out the fine details...
2007-12-17 01:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by SALLY D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have got to start telling yourself, that most people are free agents, and are not that weak, that they can be influenced by others as to who they can and cannot talk to...yes, gossip can be extremely damaging, but if the person you lose believes it, then they were never your friend in the first place....do a dance, celebrate, that you found out what kind of person they really were...I don't think that anyone has a vendetta towards you...I think you are just a very kind sensitive person, who is not the same type of person that you are getting involved with for friends...but your suspicions against them, might just be turning them off...
2007-12-16 22:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, this is a very complicated issue but when I read what you have written in your Question I can visualize you as being level-headed, caring and fully sane. My advice would be to talk to "Betty" quietly without you raising your voice & just ask her as an aside if there is anything that is bothering her and what can you do for her? This may take her mind away from thinking you are a "bad" person - which of course you are not - and could give you an opportunity to tell her you have recently been through a bad patch but that with her help and trust you can rise above that to enjoy her company. It's called "reverse psychology". Hope this helps you a bit.
2016-03-16 01:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, make certain sure you know who it is spreading this gossip about you....then face them up in no uncertain way.
Don`t get hysterical, emotional, or even confrontational....just quietly say something like `I know you are spreading rumours about me, just stop it, or else face the consequences`. If this doesn`t work, get a bigger tougher-looking friend to stand beside you, while you give a stronger warning.
2007-12-16 22:19:57 · answer #7 · answered by B0uncingMoonman@aol.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will face this issue all of your life. There is always someone out there willing to spread rumours and lies. The best remedy is to be the person you want people to know. Be your best self, honorable, kind, empathetic, upstanding, courageous etc... People will eventually know the difference between the lier and you. Those who stay your friends are the only ones you want close to you anyway. You can't control everyone, but you can control yourself. Win by being the person you want people to think you are. Things will sort themselves out after that. Don't waste your energy on the liers and people who believe them.
2007-12-16 22:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by Susan 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd deliberately let the person in on something very personal about yourself (which is untrue of course) let them spread the rumour aimlessly then confront them infront of everyone telling them that it was a load of rubbish and you did it deliberately to show people how much of a **** they were and how they couldn't be trusted, I've done this a couple of times and oh my god it's funny watching them shrink into a hole :o) enjoy!!
2007-12-16 22:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same thing happen to me. There are some people who simply live to spread rumors and destroy the reputations of others. In the workplace this can result in career suicide, if you do nothing about it. I allowed it to happen to me.
If I were you, I would suggest that lawsuits can settle the score. I should have sued certain people. It shuts them up. Document incidents, and don't be afraid to go straight to the top. You can sue people for creating a hostile workplace. But you need to document the incidents.
2007-12-16 22:16:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋