Young single mom trying to take the guilt away, trying to move on? dating?

Question

I am a young single mom with a almost 5 yr old daughter. Me and her dad are not together since years ago, he has moved on and gotten married and divorced, but between us there is no chance of reconcile. For me I find it hard to move on and fall in love with someone else, there is a part of me who feels guilty when it comes to falling in love, i feel I have no right to have a boyfriend that I would be doing wrong if I do have one or fall in love..what can I do to make myself feel that its ok to move on and take away those feelings of guilt?

Teaseand-You are absoletely right. I think that the problem is that since another man is not the father of my daughter I would feel guilty..its like I feel i owe him something, feel that its not possible to be with another man that is not her father.

Answer 1

The fact that you are trying to take guilt AWAY is the right thing you are doing. Guilt is a terrible draw back in our lives.
And whatever happened - please don't feel guilty. You are young and have a lot to give. And your obligation to you little daughter is for her to have a good father.
Well - if it didn't work out with her biological dad - too bad.
But that is where it should stop.
Of course you deserve a GOOD boyfirend. You should feel free to date, but don't do it just for the sake of it.
You sound like you have a lot of love inside you to give, so you will find a right man for yourself and a good father for your daughter - believe it and it will come.
Be strong and know your pride and worth and don't be afraid to date - dating doesn't tie you to anything. Otherwise how else you will find a good partner that you deserve?

Answer 2

If you're not a criminal then you have no business feeling guilt. What are you guilty of? You got into a relationship that didn't work out... it happens to all of us at one time or the other, sadly.

You have the right to, and deserve happiness... if you are having issues over some dumb guy, and don't feel worthy of love, perhaps you could consider talking with a professional?

Dating is quite alright, and perhaps eventually you will find someone worthy of your company!

If you take the time to look at the listed website about overcoming guilt, i hope it helps.

Answer 3

I am just guessing, but you probably feel more guilty because it is not the father of your daughter then because you are falling in love again. It sounds to me like you aren't completely over him, or you at least want him to be around for your daughter.

Maybe it would help if you introduce the guy to your daughter. I know its nerve-wracking, but I think you aren't going to be able to be comfortable with someone until you feel that your daughter is comfortable with the person as well.

I may be way off here, and if I am I'm sorry.

Answer 4

Just face the facts, your daughter's dad is a loser. You made a mistake but that does not mean you have to lose the rest of your life because of him. So buck up, go out and find a real good man that will not only love you for who you are but will also love your little girl like it was his own.

Answer 5

If you want to be more desirable for a lady you need that book https://tr.im/jWzah , The Tao of Badass which may “convert you” in to a man who attracts all the women.
The Tao of Badass is a famous step-by-step program for picking right up girls that is demonstrated to work for anyone. Regardless old, appears or how inexperienced you are about women. The system teaches you how to become ‘that man'who is needed by a lot of women.
The Tao of Badass  it will make you ‘that man'by arming you with the information of why you have to be like ‘that person'whilst giving you all of the get skills you will need to become ‘that person'who women are attracted to.

Answer 6

Angel,your name says how you can free yourself, a butterfly will land on the most beautiful flower that can hold it's weight and support it while it rests,you will now as you read this feel the guilt fall off you as a heavy dark cloak ,and being placed upon your spirit is a light cloak of many shining colors that will carry you forward to the next step for you and your love filled child, tonight you rest and and when you awake you will feel ready and deserving of the happiness I see in the stars for you both, blessings to you

Answer 7

You are half way there by being aware of your emotions abot remarriage.

What about seeking professional help to clear your head completely? Do you have a Church Minister to whom you can talk? What about your Mum? No one will have the disinterested love for you that your parents have.

Try writing down your thoughts. That sometimes clears your head. Don't put it in the long finger,Butterfly. You need to be fully functioning for yourself and your daughter.

Answer 8

don't rush things, sounds like you may have been deeply hurt and still need time to heal..
or
your ex may have had too much control over you and you haven't let it go.

It took me a long time too; I am a single father that brought up my two sons alone and I did not date because my sons did not like anyone getting close to me and it made me feel guilty if I went out with someone.
Just take your time, it should get better...but remember your daughter comes first.

Answer 9

Think about it. You've as much right as anyone to love and be loved. That's all there is to it. Simple, but so complex, isn't it? Your only responsibility is to make sure you pick a good quality man to be your partner and your daughter's "new daddy."

Answer 10

Just because a man isn't the father of your child doesn't mean that he can't be a better father to her than her bio dad is.