I am in love with a woman that I can not have which she is married with children. She is not happy in her marriage as the reason we sneak around to see each other. We have not have sex since seeing each other for the past month.
She says if she gets involved with me she will loose everything. We still see each other only if I insist. I leave notes of kindness for her but the last few notes she have ignored them. We work 3rd shift together and once that end she will go back to first shift and I may not see her again.
I am not sure if she is confused as to what she wants. I know she loves her children but not her situation. She seems to be doing everything on her own and never mentions her husband.
She is a beautiful and kind woman and I do not know what to do. I came to her second job at the advise of my friend and I believe that was a mistake.
How do a win a woman (hispanic) that is uncertain of things in her life. I will see her tomorrow night, what shoudl I do or say.
2007-12-16 20:01:49 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
...leave her alone, you are asking for more trouble than you
know. she stays with you, you inherit, three more mouths to
feed and clothe.move on.
2007-12-20 19:47:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice may not be yours seeing she has ignored your last few notes. I do hope she has honoured her marriage vows while uncertain what to do for the best. I can never see it excusable or justified to dishonour a vow by infidelity.
Should you become an item in the future, what right have you to expect her to be faithful since you were,until recently,actively encouraging her to be other wise? Until divorce, a husband and a wife should have an exclusive sexual relationship.
2007-12-16 20:16:21 · answer #2 · answered by Rose 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell you to move on. Most women, especially hispanic women fear leaving their husbands, whether it is out of fear or love. She might still be in love with her husband, and she light feel frustrated that he does not care about her in the same light thus, using you as a way to get distracted. I think that if you really like her, and love her, you should give her an ultimatum. Are you willing to let her move in with you and stay with her children? If so then tell her you would do that, that you would take care of her, but tell her that she has until a certain date to decide if she really wants to leave him. If the answer is no, then move on completely and find someone who deserves your love.
But remember it is her decision. If she is really that uncomfortable she has to divorce him for her own reasons, not because of you. She can not leave him because of you, because sooner or later she will hate you and she will leave you. If she really was having such a hard time in her matrimony, I think she would have already left, but let her tell her herself, ask her, and then you will get her finality.
And remember that hispanic husbands are very proprietarian, much more than American husbands.
2007-12-16 20:07:46 · answer #3 · answered by Eirene Goddess of Peace 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen Mister--you have no god damn business doing what you are doing--her issues are not yours---you get in the way or screw her family life up and you will be lucky to get away with your life---her problems are HERS---you work with her?? There is NO need to be involved with a woman at work, especially with her issues--and going to her second job?? Are you nuts??--go get a nice single woman with no issues--spend all your time having a nice NORMAL relationship with an unattached woman, without a bunch of kids that aren't yours. You can be like a lot of guys messing around with a married woman--all shot up or sliced up---better get smart.!!! Her husband might shove those love notes of kindness right up your butt. Wake up--get a life.
2007-12-16 20:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just enjoy what she gives you.
When a woman is married and cheats on her husband, it doesn't always mean that her husband is bad, it means that she is a cheater.
She just wants some fun and attention while passing time on 3rd shift. She tells you that she can't leave her home because she has no intention of leaving her home for you.
It's just like when men cheat on their wives and tell the new girl how he wishes that he could be free.
Don't try to force things here.
You're already getting the best that she has to offer.
So enjoy it and stop trying to make it into more.
Besides, if she cheats on her HUSBAND, what would she do to YOU?!?
2007-12-16 20:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should slow down. Marriage is tricky and a lot of work sometimes with just everyday life let alone if you throw a third party in the mix. Be her friend that's what she needs. If it turns into more great if not you still have her in your life. She might want to work things out with. Let her get over the holidays and then talk with her(not at her) . Good Luck to the both of you
2007-12-16 20:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by onenonlymanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's better not to break a family.
What if she has a chance to work it out with her husband?
If she is very miserable in marriage and you are not the cause of it - they might divorse if they choose.
You better wait it out and see. If you really love her and you think that you are the Mr. Right for her, then maybe you are lucky. But it is always better that you would not be the cause of their separation (should it happen). Because otherwise it might backfire in your lives later and you together might not be happy after all. Otherwise just be her friend and help her to sort out things with her husband, that's if you really love her.
You know how saying goes - if you truly love someone - let her/him free.
2007-12-16 20:22:48 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move on man all your going to do is get yourself and her in trouble. Make it weird at work. and she might even lose everything and if you cant support her thats just wrong to have her mess her life up like that. Get a "single" chick man. Theres alot of them out there trust me. And no i am not being a a hole. I am just tryin to get you out of a situation with nothing but a bad outcome. PS if she cheats on her husband why wouldnt she do the same to you if later you get together seriously????
2007-12-16 20:07:49 · answer #8 · answered by AirForce1s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Back off and forget her because she is married with children. Do not be a homewrecker!!! Think how many people you will be hurting and if husband finds out he may get violent with you. Don't leave notes for him to find.
You find another girlfriend who can be completely devoted to you.
Live your life without regret.
Joy to you!
2007-12-16 20:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
rebound relationships rarely work... if she has been in a relationship for a long time, and gets out of it... she will have nothing to give to you emotionally... she will require time to readjust to living and to grieve her losses (whether the situation was good or bad, it would still be a loss).
move on! leave her alone, and stop "insisting" she see you.
you're being very selfish.
2007-12-16 20:22:47 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her being uncertain is not the issue. The questionable morals are.
2007-12-16 20:05:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋