I am 23 years old and lately I have been very depressed. I feel like no one understand me. My problems start with my boyfriend whom I share an appartment with, and have been dating for almost 4 years. Sometimes he does things to upset me and it feels intentional. He will accuse me of stealing from him and cheating on him and when his favorite sports teams lose, he will punch the wall and scream. I rely on him financially because I am in school, so I guess that makes him feel as though he has power over me.
I have finally decided to leave him, but it is becomming harder than I thought. Walking away from someone I have been with so long seems impossible. I am also worried about where I am going to go. I wanted to move home with my mom, but I am getting the impression she doesn't want me there because she seems to think I will cause problems with my brother who at 18 is using drugs and can not be stoped.
More details to come....
2007-12-16 18:02:27 · 9 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I considered going into some kind of SafeNet type place but I am worried I don't qualify.
I also am facing bankruptcy but can't afford an attorney.
I am scared out of my mind and don't know what to do.
I am half tempted on just running away somewhere and losing contact with my family because I don't think they seem to care.
Please help
2007-12-16 18:04:28 · update #1
I guess my biggest question/worry is :
Has anyone went into a goverment program for abused women?
Is verbal abuse enough to qualify?
2007-12-16 18:09:42 · update #2
Wow. Your situation seems heavy. But I can say this: I had my daughter when I was 17 and was with her father for seven years who was controlling and abusive. I had no one. When I did leave him at your age I was also a student but I had a child. I had to stop school for a little bit and bounce around houses. I got a job and then eventually my own apartment and worked two jobs went to school full time and was a single parent with no financial help from her father and also during that time very depressed like you. I got through it some how. I graduated. I'm working and making money. I'm happily married now. Life gets better. You just have to persevere and push yourself. BTW I also went to counseling for a while which helped. Once you are able to get your independence, there is no feeling like it in the world. I wish you luck.
2007-12-16 18:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me I have felt that way and have ran away but in the end it never helps. Yes it will be hard to leave him which is probably the best way to go. I too have just left a home that I have lived at for 7+ years. It shows that he has problems and is possesive. Not a good type to hang out with. In the end family is all you have to rely on and if they do not accept you. turn to one of your closest friends that are like family to you and see if they will carry you through your time of need. or someone else that is really close to you. In the end it will work out for you. that is all the advice I can give you. Unless all else fails just run away and think things through. If things don't improve leave him quit school and get a fresh start from a new town or city. But first try all you can to fix things talk to him, talk to your mom, friends. Moms always help there children (most of the time). Good luck and hope things go well for you.
2007-12-16 18:22:54 · answer #2 · answered by Salvation 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many cities have a "safe house" for abused women, but you won't be able to find it in a phone book. Contact a church or social services office and they will help you get there. Don't be afraid to go. You don't need any money to stay there and the help they give is invaluable. Good luck.
2007-12-16 18:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by cantbeme_2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your Mom and tell her you need her help, admit you've made some mistakes. You said it seems like she won't do anything. You won't know until you try.
Have confidence in yourself, go out and do something to improve your situation. Get a resume together, there's websites online that show you how. Get a job in the workstudy program at your school if they have one. Dress professionally for interviews, get a job to get on your feet. You shouldn't have to depend on a guy who's treating you bad.
2007-12-16 18:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by Stripe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey I have no info on government programs that you might benefit from. But I have a piece of advice, try to move in with a friend and find a part time job that goes fine with your studies and get out of that relationship, you deserve better.
Good Luck
2007-12-16 18:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a friend to live with if not family. You don't deserve the crap that you are going through. Get away, find a job that isn't too stressful cause you don't need anymore stress, and go to live with a friend till u get back on your feet. I'll be praying for you. God Bless and Good Luck!
2007-12-16 18:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by WVUfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like these are good questions to ask a social worker who can tell you if you qualify for a shelter and can steer you towards free therapy if you feel you need it.
2007-12-16 18:17:02 · answer #7 · answered by cactusflower333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better talk it over. U should be matured enough.
No one will help u rather will exploit .
Pl first talk it over to him n try to convince n if leave then it should be mutual rather he should help u in opting for some option .
I am sure its not difficult.
2007-12-16 20:38:29 · answer #8 · answered by Khartree S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ask any social worker about your questions regarding government funded help agencies.
2007-12-16 18:15:30 · answer #9 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋