Has anyone of you had children at an early age, 15 or 16? If so, what determined you to keep the baby?

Question

I'm asking this because I have a little cousin who is pregnant and decided to keep the baby and marry the father, even if they are both very immature and do not care much about eachother.
I would like an opinion from one who has been through all these, because I would like to understand her decisions and support her.

Yes, it is sad. She is very much against abortion (although I don't agree with her, I know her to be very immature, which would make the bringing up the baby a very, very difficult process, but it's her decision, I can't interfere with that), however she lives in rural Romania, and fears the public blame/shame to which a single mom is still subjected.

good luck with you pregnancy Jenny A, may you have a heakthy nice child. :)

of course, I wanted to type 'healthy', silly me!

Answer 1

I was 16 when i got pregnant with my daughter, I had just turned 17 when I had her. The father decided that she couldnt possibly be his and to this day has never bothered with us. I kept her, I kept her because she was mine, because when I found out I was pregnant I knew that I couldnt possibly give up something that I created, and something that I didnt know that I wanted so bad. I thought about it giving her up, but just as quickly as the thought came to me it left. I had to go to work 6 weeks after she was born, I didnt finish school or graduate with my class, and I quickly learned who my friends were. But to this day I know I did the right thing for me and for her, I made alot of mistakes, I am not perfect, I sacrificed everything for her, for us. That was 10 years ago. Now my daughter is a happy 10 year old gorl who gets A's and B's in fifth grade, who has a dad who loves her as his own. And me? I have a great career we own our own home, I have a new car. I dont know you ar your cousin, but its definatly not easy being a teen parent. Its hard work, and it never stops, and there are sacrifices alot of them. But for me it has all been worth it. I wouldnt trade my life with my daughter for anything in the world, and if your cousin is strong enough and has a supportive circle of friends and family it can be okay, as for marriage I cannot say that was not an option when I was young. Dont tell her what she is doing os right or wrong just listen to her and make available any information on teen pregnancy that you can find. Most importantly offer her your shoulder because there will be tears to dry and comfort to give.

Answer 2

I my self have not had a child but I too have a cousin that had a child and married the father... for the wrong reasons... they ended up splitting later on (the child is 3 years old now and is taken care of by her grandmother lovingly) my cousin her mother and her daughter live together and my cousin is now 18 and realizing her mistakes and is taking over the responsibilities of her child. If there is affection and love in the relationship it can prosper. Even where there is no love sometimes it can develope just from being together. Other times it doesn't work out... but you have to understand that it is your cousins decision. The child will be loved... if she has decided to keep the child and accept the father then it will be loved... can't say as much for the father until later on down the line... hope this helps.

Answer 3

I am a very intelligent young woman who is a full time Jr. in college and have a part-time job. I am only 19. I had my daughter when I was 16. Usually I hate posting personal info on these forums, but I'm in a sharing/caring mood. I knew from the moment I started having sex that if I got pregnant I would not be able to abort the baby... it was something I was raised to believe was wrong and I just knew I would never be able to go through with it.
As for adoption... it was something I seriously considered. I knew it would be hard, but I knew that I wanted to give this child the best life possible, and if that meant her having different "parents" then I would accept it and try and do some sort of open adoption process. I also knew if I gave it up I would have been unable to act like it never happened.
The father was the one who talked me into keeping her. I had been with him for only a year (he was 17 at the time).
We knew we loved each other and we knew we would love this child. We decided that though it would be financially unstable for the first couple years of our child's life our families and us would be loving and supportive in raising the child.
Although the father and I planned to marry (got engaged when my daughter was almost 1) the wedding got called off because of "youth". We continued dating for another year. We ended up dating for almost 4 years (2 of those years after the birth of our daughter). We still love and respect each other (much like some of the "good" stories out of Hollywood where a divorce takes place but they still love and respect each other) and we feel we handle the situation although difficult as mature adults. We may have been only kids when we conceived her, but that just isn't the fact any more.

Now as far as your cousin is concerned.... she needs respect, love, and support right now. If you are negative in any way you may never have a good relationship with her again. My best friend at the time told me I had to give up the baby for adoption and I have yet to truly speak to her other than a polite "hi" since. If her and the father don't care for each other it will just mean more drama down the road for the child. They need to learn how to respect each other enough as equal parents and leave their relationship out of it. But even if they marry just be supportive, because her life will be more of roller coaster in the coming years no matter what decisions are made.

Answer 4

i haven't been through this at all, however i think that it's a very mature step to decide to keep the child.. however, marrying the father if they are so young and don't really love each other is just plain silly. They don't need to get married in order to both take responsibility over the baby. In the long run, marrying each other out of obligation will just lead to more complications and problems.. good luck with your cousin!

Answer 5

I got pregnant at 15, had my son at 16 and kept him. At the time I considered abortion, but knew it wasn't the proper choice for me. I never once considered adoption because I knew for a fact I'd never be able to carry the pregnancy, give birth and then give my baby up for adoption. Honestly, keeping him was the best choice I made for myself AND my family.
She shouldn't stay with the father just because she is pregnant with his child, it'll only lead to problems in the future if they don't care for each other or love each other.
I wish your cousin the best of luck. As for your family support her decision, but DO NOT let her give birth to the child and then pawn the child off onto family relatives. If she wants to keep the child make her take care of him/her, being as it was her choice.

Answer 6

Im 16 and pregnant. And yes im keeping the baby and going to marry the father someday. I'll be 2 months short of 17 and he will be 19 when our baby is born.

Answer 7

my grandmother became pregnant at the age of 13 and married my grandfather. My MOTHER is the reason she did what she had to do. she decided to act like an adult and have sex so she continued to act like adult and raised my mom and my other aunts and uncles that she eventually had. there is nothing to understand other than an unconditional love that a parent has for her child. my grandparents have been married for 49 years

Answer 8

This is really sad. Now three people will have their lives ruined, and the truly innocent one, the baby, will suffer the most. The absolute, hands-down, most mature thing she could possibly do is give that baby up to a stable, adult couple, then these two kids could both clean up the mess they've made of their lives and move on.

But she won't, and it will be a disaster.

Answer 9

not to sound racist but are they Hispanic?...if so that is not uncommon,however i was a teenage mother at 14 and was scared to tell anyone not even me..i was so much in denial. it was reality when i was active labor.at that age i was not ready had to get help from family to finish school until i was 18years old and old enough to provide.just support her that is the most important thing..she will see reality on day God has a plan for all of us. maybe the baby is meant to be here.

Answer 10

Sad. Sounds like one of those marriages where parents decided who the girl or boy would marry since before they're born!