How do we fight ridiculous allegations by my husbands ex-wife so that we can resume visitation?

Question

Two years ago my husbands ex-wife sent my him papers stating that she was ammending their divorce papers for supervised visitation only. She did this two months after our child was born, I assume because she was mad because she thought we would lower her child support.
The allegations for the supervised visitation were that he was not taking his anti-psychotic medication and that he did illegal drugs and drank alcohol. Me, not ever having been involved in this sort of thing thought that if we just showed the judge the actual medicine labels printed from the pharmacy to show that the drugs that he took were not anti-psychotic but actually sleeping pills (along with his medical records) and agreed to a hair drug test that this would prove all her allegations to be untrue and all would be good...boy was I wrong. We were pretty much treated like the most dysfunctional family in the history of time.
My husband feeling defeated (and we not really having the extra money for an attorney)

Just let it go. The supervised visitation rules were so strict that it would be almost impossible not to violate the rules and terminate the visitation altogether and it would cost approx. and extra $700 per month to pay for the supervised visitation.
We are just now getting finacially able to fight this but don't really know where to start and if she'll even want to see us after this amount of time. I've woken up in the middle of the night to find my husband bawling because he misses his daughter and I wish I knew where to start.
Are there any resources out there for father's in this situation or is there any helpful advice you might be able to add. If it helps we live in the state of texas.
We did submit to drug tests and a home study was ordered but noone every came or called...or even inquired. We really don't know where the case stands we just send our child support every month like we're suppose to.

No the supervised visitation had to be at a neutral location called "Hannah's House". The fees were $250 per hour and an additional $100 per family memeber..it wasn't let's just go to grandma's and visit dear daughter. The sessions were to be recorded and we couldn't even say certain things.

We did not go to court that day with an attorney because we thought this was so ridiculous that we didn't need one..it was her attorney that slaughtered us!
Also the AG's office in the state of TX doesn't handle custody issues...only child support.

I'm sorry Meshell did you even read my post? We pay our child support on time every time even though we don't see the child. Not to mention that I've been here the whole time. She did strictly because she was threatened, knowing that with the birth of our child, her child support could go down...and just because you think you know so much...we didn't even lower her child support with the birth of our child. It's not about money is about mother's (which I have children from a previous marraige too) taking advantage of the system and in return hurting their children by withholding them from their other parent.
I think in about 10 years my husband's ex wife will have a lot of questions to answer from her daughter;.
Also, in case you're not familiar with how this works...you get a restraining order when an amendment is being made...the only stipulation in this order was that no monentary funds could be withheld until a judgement was finalized...now you tell me who's worried about the $$

Answer 1

You need to research attorney's first.

Be looking for an attorney who has the reputation of being tough ... handled this type of cases before .. knows exactly what to do .. and has a large percentage of wins.

This will cost you money .. but you have problems that need solving.

You can TRY this .. it may, or may not .. give you some answers or help .. but .. call the Attorney General's Office in Texas .. and ask questions .. and tell them you need help in seeing the child.

I don't know how long ago the home study was ordered .. and how much time has passed since nothing has been done .. but you do need legal advice .. and you need legal advice that is sound & accurate ... you can be told so many different things.

Also ... never, ever, expect anyting in Court to go the way you think it will. The biggest surprises are made in a Court of Law ... especially when a person is convinced it will definely go the way they think it will go.

Answer 2

Hon, i'm very sorry to hear your family is going through this. I've seen so much bitterness between divorced people (including my own situation) and it seems the child is the one who suffers most... believe me when i tell you, the ex won't be very popular with her child, if she doesn't change her attitude. Kids grow up and can "see" the truth...

when you can afford it, get a well practiced family law attorney. some even give free consultations. What you said about the judge in this case is odd....but a good attorney knows his way around the law, and would be of great help.

take care

Answer 3

Ive been through this with my now x but honestly the best thing you can do is follow every order the judge makes to a T. I can say that it works. the supervised visitation will only be temporary, unless she can prove he violates it in any way. You can also make it a nuteral place to be supervised, such as his parents home. Supervised doesn't mean by HER, it means by a neutral party. I wish you luck but it will all blow over just give it some time. She'll meet a new man and have somebody else to tourture soon! ;)

Answer 4

That is so sad. I just can't understand how ANY parent can just walk away from a child, let alone the child's Mother. I wouldn't bother trying to get the child's mother to take an interest in her son. If she wants to drop out of his life, it's a shame, but the child knowing whether she's in or out will be of some comfort to him, in terms of routine and consistency, which all kids need. It would be nice, however, if she could be straight up with you guys and your stepson about how much she intends to be around, so you can plan your lives accordingly. He may have behavioral issues, but providing him with a STABLE, safe, loving home will go a long way toward making him feel loved, safe and positive about himself, thus (hopefully) impacting his behavior in a positive way. You and your husband can really make a difference in his life by stepping up and raising him together, without bad-mouthing his Mom (even though she might deserve it). If the ex elects to give permanent full custody of their son to your husband, you and he may want to pursue the possibility of child support, unless it would bring undue drama and stress into the situation. Take care & Good luck!!! : )

Answer 5

Being an ex wife, and a mom. All you have to beleive in is his side. NOT TO SAY HES BAD. But it DOES take two for a partnership to end. Forgiving his past is one thing, but a mom who has seen her child cry b/c of him is different. You may never understand that. His new wife of 10 years...she has learned on her own. But she is still with him. We are not friends, we dont even talk. Worring about child support (which he should pay) and visitation is different for you. You thout it was stupid to show up...well the judge saw you didnt care. I live in TX too. Show up to court. Keep a log of everything you do, including phone calls. Do everything youcan. Not for him but for yhe child. You knew there was bagged deal with it. He isnt in controle, take over. But it sounds like you only care about your money and him...what about the child...

Answer 6

post your story on divorcenet.com - you will get excellent guidance. but I think you are going to need an attorney