Older ladies answer please who should i take advice from.?

Question

I take advice from my brother who is a Preacher He is 26, and very successiful , i also listen to my mother. who is a saint. My girl friend whom i have been dating for ayear She gets very angry and say's i need to grow up and make decisions on my own. And not be influenced by other peoples thoughts. she's 21 I'm 25 should i argue back or listen to my elders about marriage and family or should i grow more hair on my chest and bite the bullett. And admitt it. I don't want to be a failure. Divorce is high in america. what should i do.

Answer 1

You sound like a wise and sensible young man, and the people you refer to as asking for advice are two respectable loving adults.

You do not say much much about your girlfriend or what issues she feels you should be making decisions about on your own.

We are all influenced by others; the wisest of us try to ask advice from people we can trust and respect. There are those who follow the advice of people who are either not
living healthy lifestyles themselves or are not living lives we wish to emulate.

Clearly, if we don't want to live a life of crime, we neither
associate nor take advice from criminals, right? If I want
to do the right thing, if I believe in God, and I aspire to
love others and do what I can to make this world a better
place, I might seek advice from Reverend Billy Graham.

So, we all do seek advice, or seek the paths of those we
hold in high esteem.....those whose lives we wish to emulate....

Divorce is high in America, you are absolutely correct. It is
a wise woman and man who does not step into marriage
lightly. Similar values, similar views, similar faith lives.....
all add up to making a lifelong marriage vow more easily
sustained.

Though your girlfriend is telling you to make decisions on your own, it seems she is trying to influence your decisions or views, too. People who are close to us, who love us and
we love them.....all have an influence on us......

It seems from what you've written that this discord between
you and your 21 year old girlfriend has something to do with marriage---and her opinion must be different than the opinion of your brother and mother. You mention having dated her for one year---but your mother and brother have been in your life from the day you were born, so clearly you will trust their
love for you and their opinions about issues in your life.

Take all of their viewpoints into consideration, pray about it,
and then sit quietly and see what you feel is the right way
to go. Very few of us make decisions without considering
the views of the ones we love and respect, so don't feel badly, please.

Oh.....and being pressured to marry is not a good motivator.

God bless you,
Doris

Answer 2

I think that you can listen to the advice of as many people as you want... take the advice which sounds good, and leave the rest!

People can give you suggestions and opinions, but you really need to decide what is best for YOU... others are busy making decisions for themselves.

It's nice to have input...

Why argue at all? Let your girlfriend know you are not into arguing... because you do not seem like you are? Telling people how you feel is very important!

You can weigh the pros and cons of a situation before you make a decision too... even if you have to write a list and have one column for PRO and one for CON....

if you are considering getting married, just talk about the future with her... figure out if you can afford it, and are emotionally prepared. Talk about having kids or not.. and when if so. Talk about finances. Let her know your plans and goals... set some goals together. If you expect a nice neat home, then discuss that... you two can work together to keep things the way you like... discuss communicating about problems... and how you will solve them.. do you want to scream and yell, or would you like to sit down and talk things over, solve them or compromise?

You can talk about it all BEFORE you get married... maybe that would ease your mind.

Take care and make choices based on your feelings.. hugs

Answer 3

Doesn't it make more sense to listen to someone that has lived longer then a mer 21 years. Your girlfriend only thinks she knows what is best for you, she really doesn't not yet anyways. She has a lot of growing up to do and so do you but at least you realize that. Please take everything she says with a grain of salt and remember mother always knows what is best because she has lived alot longer then you and with time comes wisdom.
I can guarantee that if you marry this girl so young the two of you won't make it through the first year of marriage.
I have been married for 28 1/2 years to the same man so i think that should qualify me to know alittle bit more then your girlfriend.

Answer 4

Your girl friend is 100% correct. There is nothing wrong with talking and listening to others, but you must make your own decisions. No one needs to blindly follow another. Take what other people say, run it through you thought process and arrive at a plan based on your own thinking. Some of the things others say you may agree with some you may not. The important thing is the decisions you make are your own. Divorce is not the final determination if you are successful or not, many things determine success. So, yes, grow up, make some decisions, take ownership of them, and life your life the way you want to live it - not the way your mother, brother, or girl friend want you to live it.

Answer 5

Some of the best advice comes from a older couple whose marriage has survived many hardships and great times; possibly the marriage your parents have had. Your brother can give you the Godly side of marriage which is what will in the end serve as a lasting marriage, because w/ out him in the marriage there is none. Yes you need to make decisions on your own BUT as humans we need advice; does she not call her g/f's and ask for advice about the relationship between you two? YES SHE IS.

Answer 6

Listen to your brother and mother... they are trying to help you to make the RIGHT choices in your life so you don't ever have to go through the pain of divorce, etc.

Your girlfriend isn't bright enough to realize that wise people seek the counsel of others. They realize they can learn from other experiences and the wisdom others have gained throughout their lives. It's not about making your own decisions... in the end, you are making YOUR OWN decisions. You are just wise enough to ask others when you need some ideas on how to deal with things and with life.

She should try it sometime... she would learn alot.

Answer 7

I think u should listen to both your brother, and mom, within reason, I mean they are family and care for u and only want whats best for u.. Your g/f just needs to realize what a close family u have, u should also listen to her opinion.. And then U have to be man enough to decide what is right for U!! Good Luck

Answer 8

Have your mother or brother ever took you down the wrong path, have they ever lied to you. my guess is that she wants to be the only influence in your life and she is going about it is wrong by demanding that you don't listen to other people but listen to her. She sounds like a control freak, I'd be careful of her if I were you

Answer 9

Your girlfriend is young she doesn't know what it means to respect elders and people who love the lord. You should get married so what divorce is high in America. If you know who you are and what you want than do what you need and want to do.

Answer 10

wisdom comes from wise counsel, you are right in seeking it. Never do anything as big as marriage without getting council. If you are having thoughts on waiting then don't push it. If she really loves you she will understand.