I got married to him when in univewrsity. at first things were going well but now he use to have affairs with other women and even bring them to the room we share. We have a son too and it is really maddening when I find out. for times i have tried to leave him but it is really hard becoz he threatrens and abuses me. he even threatens my family if I leave Him. Agaist all odds he wants me to stay on with him. if I do the slightest mistake he will bash me up to the point of killing me. When I say mistakes I mean doing laundry, washing clothes and stuff like that. when I try to go on a strike after he hits me , he will continue hitting me so badly. I really, really hate him but if I run away from him he will hunt me down. what do I do? I need advice on whats best for me to do that will change him or get rid of him from my life. I am really confused if he is the one for me.
2007-12-16 16:18:35 · 14 answers · asked by Emily J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't do anything you might regret......If you love him try and get some help, he may turn out not so bad. It could be mental problems. Some men have huge amounts of mental anger and deppression. Usually most of it can be ruled out by a professional. Under no curcumstances should your son be around him until he is stable again. Please don't do anything stupid, and avoid revenge in these situations...it can get bad.
I'll pray for you, I promise.
2007-12-16 16:31:50 · answer #1 · answered by ☠princess_gabrielle... 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
You need to access a welfare service who can help you to move away from this person. Slowly put a plan of action in place going so far as to arrange credit cards in different names depending on the laws governing that. If you have to legally change your name so you can. Find a shelter not in your own town but a randomly sellected one that is many hours away from where you are. Start getting together as much money as you can and any valuables. And then sit back and wait till you get an opportunity to escape.
If you get beaten in the mean time take photo's of it and make sure a trusted person who may be in a position of power such as a local doctor or pharmacist to see the bruises so that if it goes on for a long period of time you may be able to get the man arrested.
But whatever you decide to do dont just put up with it.
2007-12-16 16:25:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am also 13 and sometimes I get stressed aswell but it is all linked to hormones and periods. Everyone in some part of their life goes through a time where they get angry and hate themselves. Do not cut yourself it is only hurting you and is basically the same as committing suicide(apart from you don't die) any way just don't do it! Maybe you just need a nice long chat with your mum or maybe have a day out with your bestfriend to take your mind off of things. Try and talk to a teacher or someone to get some help. Good luck ;) hope this helps :) x
2016-04-09 21:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by Erica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband doesn't love you, and is not "the one for you." Otherwise he would treat you with utmost love and respect, instead of abuse and hatred. Your husband is a VIOLENT CRIMINAL and a PSYCHOPATH, and as such, only barely deserves to be called a "human being."
First, I would suggest you start writing a SECRET JOURNAL. Whenever he physically or verbally abuses you, be sure to make a written record of *all* the details and circumstances involved, including any injuries you receive no matter how minor and any damage to your home or property.
I can't stress enough the value of keeping a written record if he is ever brought to trial. This can make the difference between a few weeks or months of jail time for him, and a few decades.
The big problem with domestic abuse cases is it is often only the word of the wife against the husband. If you can provide written proof of your story, he will have that much less of a leg to stand on in court.
Second, you need to CONFIDE in someone you can trust for help escaping your situation. No matter how dire your circumstances, there is always someone out there that is willing to listen and help you. Only *you* can make yourself powerless.
Third, you need a PLAN. Start planning your escape TODAY, and use *every means* at your disposal to get out. Once you have a foolproof plan, don't chicken out. Depending on what country you live in, the police may or may not be willing to help you. Ultimately, it is the strength of your "network" of family and friends that can provide the best protection for you. If you live in the US, I suggest you call 911 once you have a plan of action, when your husband is out at work.
Remember that your husband is only *one man.* He may be able to fight you when you are *alone*, but he cannot win against your whole family and network of friends, and he certainly can't fight the law!
Fourth, you and your son need to GET OUT of there as soon as you possibly can!
The more abuse your son is exposed to, the more likely it is that he himself will become a criminal, or beat his own wife in the future. The more likely it is that he will suffer permanent mental trauma! If you can't force yourself to to leave on your own account, do it for him!
Good luck,
~WOMBAT
2007-12-16 16:37:40 · answer #4 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to report this abuse to the police.
Hon, you don't need to live this cycle of abuse... leaving is a good idea.. do it when he's gone, and make sure you have a place to go... on the way there, make sure your FIRST stop is the police... tell them about the threats against your family and how he has hit you many times...
it sounds like you live in UK, and i am not sure of their laws, but i'm sure that domestic violence isn't acceptable....
take care of YOU... you deserve to be happy and out of that mess. turn to those who love you for help.
2007-12-16 16:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Emily number one get out now!! You are not safe with this man. There are shelters for battered women who will help you! Press Charges against him, he isn't going to hurt your family it is all a control issue. It's better for you and your son emotionally. I understand your fears, fear of not being able to support yourself, feed your child, But God will take care of you!, The shelter will get you a place to live, help you find work etc.
2007-12-16 16:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by Rev.Michelle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look i have learned about things like this at school and the best thing you can do is talk to someone you trust for emotional support and contact the police!don't be afraid you can also put a restriction order on him so if he gets anywhere near you or your family he will get arrested by the police!k!
Best Of Luck!!!
2007-12-16 16:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Izumi 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Hes not the one for you! Get out, get a restraining order, are you in the U.S.? You need to call an abuse hotline when hes not around, get some help, things will only get worse with this guy. Please dont call him a man, because hes not a real man.
2007-12-16 16:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
seek help immediately and file a protection order. If he threatens you call cops and press charges.
2007-12-16 16:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The first step would be to have him arrested then get a restraining order.
2007-12-16 16:21:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋