We went over to our friends' house tonight for dinner. My husband and this guy have been "friends" for over 10 years. I went inside to get something to drink (everyone else was outside) and the friend followed me in the house. He cornered me at the refrigerator, told me that he thought about me all of the time and then he kissed me. I didn't kiss him back and I pushed him away immediately. But, it freaked me the hell out. I mean, I am married and I don't cheat on my husband! And, he is also married and his wife and kids were outside with my husband and my kids. I didn't know what to say, so I just ran outside. I told my husband about 15 minutes later that I didn't feel good and was ready to go home. I didn't tell him what his friend said or did. I don't know if I should tell him or just let it go. We spend a lot of time with these people. What do I do?
By the way, there was no alcohol involved. He knew exactly what he was doing when he kissed me.
2007-12-16 14:29:36 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This so called "friend" is a sleazy snake in the grass. You need to tell your husband. What if the guy tells your husband first and tries to make it look like YOU came on to HIM? Of course your husband would want to believe you, but he might wonder why you didn't tell him. That would be truly messed up. Don't get into that position. Be honest and you must not be spending time with him and his family anymore.
2007-12-16 14:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many reason why you should tell your husband .. and there are just as many reasons why you should NOT tell your husband.
One major reason to tell your husband is for the trust which you share between you two .... however- if you tell him - it is going to break-up this friendship between the 2 guys .. and maybe even cause a fight ... plus - the other guy could deny it all - or even say you agged it on. It could turn out to be his word against your word.
If you don't tell your husband - and he finds out - then he may get really mad.
To tell your husband, or not to tell your husband needs to take a lot of thinking from you to decide which is the best avenue to take.
I bet the man who cornered you at the ice box -- I bet this is NOT his first time to do this to other women. The next time he encounters you ... whether he appologizes or whatever - make is perfectly clear that his actions are not acceptable to you .. and if he ever does it again that you will scream your head off if he touches you again.
If you decide to just let it go & not tell your husband .. just be on guard, and try not to ever be left alone with this man .. however, I don't know how long you could keep this up without someone wondering what is up.
One thing .. you could get pencil & paper .. and make 2 columns .. on one column write down the consequences of telling your husband ... in the next column - write down the consequences of NOT telling your husband ... then think about all of them. Decide which would be best for you, for your husband, your marriage, and the situation overall.
2007-12-16 14:49:31 · answer #2 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yep, tell your husband what happened so he can deal with his so called "friend".
Now that it's over, don't fret about it.
Some weirdo layed a wet one on you. Forget it. Don't let this jerk change the way you feel or act at all. Chalk it up to being a dynamic and attractive women who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just don't ever be alone when this guy is around, eh?
This guy was such an idiot.
2007-12-16 14:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by copious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your husband. He has a right to know. Just think if your best friend kissed your husband, wouldn't you want him to tell you? Then the friend might tell your husband a different story.
2007-12-16 14:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Duncan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats tough to say cuz that could cause problems between the 2 of them and his family and marraige. if it is really bothering u then i would tell him cuz then your gonna be dealing with knowing that u havent told him for a long time and i think the truth and honesty in your marraige is more important than the friendship of the two of them, u never know...if u dont tell ur husband the next move he makes may be far more than a kiss.
2007-12-16 14:36:48 · answer #5 · answered by It's My Turn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband, if you dont the guy might continue to hit on you. Creeps like that are around because people protect them by keeping quiet. Or if you keep quiet he might try to get you in trouble with your husband by telling him that you tried to kiss him. Right now he's waiting to see what you will do about it act before he does.
2007-12-16 14:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by zqx357 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have no choice but to tell your husband, if he finds out another way it will look really bad for you. Sit him down after the kids are in bed and tell him exactly what happened. This will probably ruin your friendship, but it could save you a lot of heartache if he were to find out later.
2007-12-16 14:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by Fire's Shaddow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You handled that right good for you. You spend alot of time with them so if you start saying to your husband everytime you don't want to see them he'll figure out somethings up or wonder why your so adament about not seeing them anymore.
In this case I would tell your husband tell him you don't want him to have a fight with this jerk and that you handled it its been dealt with but from here on in you guys can't hang out.
This will keep your husband out of it from getting mad and wanting to punch the other guys lights out and you dont' have to put him in that predicument. he may want or feel he has to do something to this guy now. So make sure you explain to him you have handled it and he needs to do nothing but to dump this guy and end his friendship.
2007-12-16 15:39:16 · answer #8 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear, I've been there. You do need to tell your husband. His friend has betrayed his trust, and tried to steal his "territory". That's a terrible thing to be put in the middle of, but he needs to know. You don't want the burden to stay on you any longer than it already has.
Cheers
2007-12-16 14:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband needs to know this man is not his friend. This man had nerve insulting you like that. What kind of woman does he think you are ?
Tell your husband in a calm manner so he doesnt do any thing foolish.
2007-12-16 14:35:35 · answer #10 · answered by secrethaven45 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋