I am engaged to a wonderful man. We have been engaged for four years. We haven't gotten married yet because we have had family problems. I have been thinking about our relationship and realized that there are some second thoughts. I love him with all my heart. How do I know if this is right?
2007-12-16 14:11:24 · 15 answers · asked by Paige M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not knowing what the family issues were, I am going to look at both sides. If he cheated, lied, is abusive, or if one side of the family disapproves of one of you, then I think you really need to sit down and decide if you can live with those issues for the rest of your life. And you are probably better off finding someone else.
If the issues were not related to the two of you, then I think you are probably stressed out over the things that have been going on. And you need to sit down and think about whether you are just having second thoughts because you are stressed and times are tough.
Relationships are going to have rough patches, and it is up to you to decide how much you can handle. If he is a good guy that treats you well, and you two have made it through the family issues, then I think you are probably better off staying with him.
Good luck!!
2007-12-16 14:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by tallchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A four year engagement and second thoughts? What are your second thoughts? It is hard to say how you can know what is right. You say he is wonderful and you love him with all your heart. What is the problem then?
2007-12-16 14:42:47 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know where you're coming from. My parents did some pretty horrible things to both my fiance and I, and yet he was the only one to stand by me through it all. We all have differences, or flaws if you wanna call it that, but that's what makes us human, and UNIQUE. All the other women are right, if you have a gut feeling- it COULD be right.... But.. what if you weren't? And then you lose the best thing that has ever walked into your life? Talk to him and tell him you may want to wait a little longer... if he's really that great of a guy, then he will understand. You cannot love half of a person... either you love them or you don't. You know what I learned in therapy? To love another person is to let them be.. Let them be them and love them for who they are because you can't change another person, only they can change on their own IFF they desire to. Good luck. Oh and another thing, if it's about the whole family thing... I know family is supposed to be first always... but think of it this way... You and this wonderful man are going to be building a foundation and family of your own. Don't let this opportunity slip by you!!
2007-12-16 14:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by LiSa B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The suggestion that I have heard, and like best, is to read from I Corinthians 13:4-7. Everywhere it says "love" substitute your fiance's name. Have him do the same. If what you are saying is true, get married.
Also, follow your heart.
2007-12-16 14:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by MissFloor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u have second thoughts u should really think things out. Talk to your fiance and see what he says. Communication is key. U shouldn't just jump right in until u KNOW its right. Good luck!
2007-12-16 14:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by caboose989 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a long engagement 4 years and still haven't tied the not and now asking is this right? Start asking him not us.
2007-12-16 14:15:59 · answer #6 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been engaged for four years and are having second thoughts... get "unengaged"... whatever you are wondering about that you don't like etc... isn't going to get better it gets worse... trust me!!! Good Luck!!
2007-12-16 14:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Elizabeth P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only u can know that...R his family in agreement....how do reslove ur problems/difference.....if u live with him for years without being married....give the remaining years a shot...and see what will happen...remember that absolutly nothin last for ever...not even salvation....think deeply about it
2007-12-16 14:17:24 · answer #8 · answered by Morgie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you just answered your own question when you said you realized there are some second thoughts. You owe it to him and yourself to wait until you're sure.
2007-12-16 14:16:29 · answer #9 · answered by A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is wonderful why would you have second thoughts?
Don't let a good one get away.
2007-12-16 14:15:30 · answer #10 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋