Can't they see how much it's hurting me?!?

Question

Both my best friend and my boyfriend know how much I love him. This is the second time it has happend, and I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

He hangs out with her more than he hangs out with me. She has been his best friend for long and so have I.

He gives her big, expensive stuffed toys, and I only get cheap, small ones.

He follows her and allows her to take advantage of him, but I was never followed when I asked for it nicely.

They talk on the phone alot, too.

She knows a lot of his secrets that I am told later.

Yeah, I know. She's HOT. I'm NOT.

She DOESN'T love you, I DO.

Sheesh.

I don't wanna seem rude and tell them to back off. I'm just not that kind of person. My boyfriend won't listen to me either. He's always the one I have to follow, and he never follows me.

Recently, my best friend and her guy have had relationship issues which hurt her badly, and since my boy friend and I are her best friends, we're there for her. We cried, too.

But when my boyfriend and I had issues, he never even cried or hugged me when I started to cry.

Answer 1

Your boyfriend likes your best friend, and either she likes him too or she gets some sort of weird pleasure from the fact that he gives her more attention than you....
Ask your best friend to stop her behaviour. Say: "Ok I know you and ____ are really good friends and have been for awhile, and I'm not trying to be selfish, but it makes me really uncomfortable that you two are so close and spend more time together and I feel like maybe _____ has a crush on you or something. I know you may not see it, but I'd really prefer it if you sort of backed off a little. I'm not trying to tell you not to talk to him, but for my sake I'd appreciate if you sort of toned down the contact a little and kind of gave him the idea."
If she reacts poorly to this, then she is not that great of a friend...
If you discuss it with him it could also help. He may not even notice he's doing it? He may also get defensive, so if this continues then... break up with him. You don't deserve a boyfriend that is going to treat you like that, and if he doesn't notice it or try and change it then..say goodbye. If you do this and he comes crying back then maybe that is what it took for him to realize his ways, take him back, but under the condition that he doesn't give any other girl more attention and intimacy than you.
good luck!

Answer 2

Move on. That is not your friend, and your BF is a hound.

At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with.

Answer 3

girl you need to let him go. obviously he cares more about her and that's not fair. It will only end later anyway. trust me I know. I had a relationship like that too. Most of the time I felt like a third wheel. I know it will be hard, but you need to say enough is enough. Don't allow him to mess with your heart. You have the choice to end getting hurt, so make it.

Answer 4

You poor girl. Hanging around waiting for whatever crumbs he deems to drop to you. Forget him. I know it will be difficult at first, but believe me its for the best. He is not as committed as you as you are to him, so why waste your life Good Luck

Answer 5

Let me tell you from exprerience...!!!!

If they are that close now, they are going to be that close with you or without you.... She is not going anywhere!

When you and him fight... She is going to be that person he call's to talk about it. She is going to be the one to know his deepest, darkest fears... She's going to be the one he calls if a family memeber issue arises or if he JUST NEEDS TO TALK...

I know because my man still talks to his EX-GIRLFRIEND... He tells me she is his best friend. So with that.. You need to go on YOU...

You need to think about what life would be like with YOU, HIM, and HER.... Not saying they are dating because if they were, you would not be in the picture. You need to go on FAITH. Know that he cares for you.

I had to understand it... It took months to realize he was ALWAYS going to have a relationship AS FRIENDS with his ex.. But he is with ME, he LOVES ME, and he wants to be with ME...

If you can't go on those factors alone... Then you need to move on FOR YOU....

Answer 6

k! and is this a question????