my fiance is coming home from korea after being gone for 8 months. he was alotted 3 weeks and was going to spend 7 days with me, 7 days with his extended family and 7 days with his mom. (i live on campus so he will have to stay in a hotel, which is why we decided on 7 dyays only) well now his mom decided to throw him a big party on the EXACT day he was supposed to come see me and i cant go to it because i have school that morning. also, i go to school 3 hours away from his house. i am SO pissed that his mom is doing this because it throws off everything and i may only get to see him for like 4 days. how can i fix this????
2007-12-16 14:03:48 · 3 answers · asked by ifeellikepennies 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i cant "tag" along. i have college to attend. his extended family he is going to see lives 8 hours away from my school and his house is 3 hours away from me. he needs to understand that he is marrying me and NOT his mother.
2007-12-16 14:15:56 · update #1
tell him straight away its either be with you or he can have sex with his mother.see if hes man enough to tell her.
2007-12-16 15:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by me m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there some way that he can switch weeks? Perhaps he could spend the 1st week with his mother (& her party), then the second week with you & whatever's left with his extended family. Deference must be given to your future mother-in-law, but in my opinion, his extended relatives could bide their time until he sees you. Especially if they're attending this party of his mother's. As a matter of fact, perhaps seeing them all at the party will negate a special trip to see them.
As I see it, his mother may be a bit miffed that she was the last person considered for his homecoming and so decided to pre-empt everyone by throwing a big party. There may be additional cultural issues that I'm not addressing here.
I know that you're upset, but probably, so is his mother. The situation may be less directed at you than you think. My suggestion is to send her a particularly beautiful card with your genuine regret at not being able to attend the party due to school commitments, logistics and time constraints. Thank her for including you and say how much you look forward to being part of such a caring family. Mention how wonderful her parties are and say how you hope to enjoy a future invitation. Send your regards to all the relatives. Be a shining little beacon of hope. Then go to the gym & work off your fury.
It's hard to turn this sort of situation around & I commiserate with your frustration. By using this approach, you should be perceived as being thoughtful, mature and graceful. When you speak to your fiance, ask him how his mother liked the card, if he was able to see his extended relatives etc. Then point out the fact that, having met his obligations to his family, you should have some extended time together. Best of luck.
2007-12-16 22:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by laurel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either tag along with him on all these visits or get left behind.
If you have a better offer for him, he will probably be more inclined to change plans and beg off of everyone else's stuff.
2007-12-16 22:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋