ok so it doesn't really rhyme of anything like that I just pretty much descibed all my feelingd for him. So here goes...
I feel like whenever I'm around him my life is perfect
I care so much
When I'm down all I want to do is have him hold me
And tell me everything will be ok
Even though we both know better
I want to hold him tight and give him all my love
Look in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes and know
That I'm the luckiest girl in the world
I want to make him the only one for me
Sometimes I know that I can't have him
And I can only be with him in my dreams
So I want to sleep forever
I feel like I can find enough happiness to last a lifetime
Just by looking in his eyes for one minute
I want to wrap my arms around him and never let go
I want to trust him with life
Tell him all my serets
And let him know that he's all I'll ever need
He's one of my good friends and we have great times
But that's all it'll ever be
2007-12-16 13:53:35 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
He won't hold me and whisper in my ear
Or look me in the eye
And tell me he loves me
Or be there for me when I really need him
He's the best guy I know
And I don't Want to let him go
2007-12-16 13:55:25 · update #1
My first question to you is, have you shared it with "HIM"?
After thoughts, might be; Have you accepted the fact,,,or possibility?
Is this theraputic/cathartic for you?
Have you ever read "Death and Dying" as it explains the stages the living go through,,,and relate to this issue?
In empathy, what WE think is far less important than what you think, and perhaps what HE might think. Certainly it's a form of VENTING, and hopefully some medicinal method of healing.
Steven Wolf
2007-12-16 14:09:34 · answer #1 · answered by DIY Doc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is one of the best FREE VERSE pome i have ever read. just because i doesn't ryme doesn't mean it isn't a poem.
i would like to sugjeast one change thogh, remove the line
"so i want to sleep forever" and the flow will be better.
best of luck!
2007-12-16 14:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by gretch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This type of poem is called a ''freestyle poem'',even though they do not ryhme most of the time,they are very pretty much like yours.
2007-12-16 14:10:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't add to what Steven said. You get a Sunday star.
2007-12-16 14:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok. Not really a poem.
More like a love letter or journal entry.
2007-12-16 14:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋