18, still living with parents, what are my rights?

Question

ok, i know a lot of questions like this have been asked, but i haven't found anything that explains what i'm asking. what i want to know is, how much control do my parents have over me, now that i'm no longer a minor, even if i do live at their house? and before i get all those moocher comments, let me explain something: i only still live with my parents because they are making it incredibly difficult for me to leave. they wouldn't let me learn to drive, or get a job, so i couldn't start till either till my birthday. when i tried to get my permit, they refused to give me my birth certificate, they started charging rent as soon as i got a job, and as i make more, they change the rent so that they get over half my money, and i still have to buy my own food, clothes, etc. now they're saying i cant go out at certain times of the day. i'm working 2 jobs, one full time (830am to 5pm), one part time(overnight about 4 times a week) and i'm a full time college student. can they do that?

i'm paying for my own college, which is why i have both jobs. and they're most likely not going to kick me out. they've been working pretty hard to keep me there. mainly because i do most of the housework. and yes, they are controlling. my older sister tried to go away to college (they had agreed to pay for it, because she was still 17 and they wouldn't let her get a job), and they waited until she got there, then cut her off completely so she had to come home.

my classes are at night, from 530-9, a different class every night, and photography is on saturdays. a full time student just means i have at least 12 credit hours every week. i've got 14

Answer 1

As long as you live in their house they can set the rules.

You are old enough that they cant force you to stay in during certian times or other rules they want you to abide by, but since you are now 18 they can kick you out if you chose not to abide by them and it would be legal for them to do so.

I know you cant drive ut there are buses you could take. You can go to the clerk of records at the courthouse and get your own copy of your birth certificate.

You can go to sites like rommates.com and look at a rent share situation that could help you move out.

There are alot of options for you. None of them would be easy at 1st but they are doable as long as you are willing to live having no fun and spending all of your money on getting out for the next 6 months or so.

You might have to eat PB&J sandwiches and not buy any new clothes but if you want out you have to sacrifice.

Answer 2

What I want to know is how you can be a full time student and work 8-5? I don't think we're getting the whole truth. But to answer your question, you have every right to leave. If your rent is getting increased, just pay rent at a different place of your own. It sounds like you are just used to depending on them for everything but you have every right to leave.

Answer 3

well your documents are yours i'm sure they cant keep that from you. for making curfues and rent they technically can kick you out of the house at 18 i thought i would go to the police and explain the situation. unless they are paying for college if i was you i would move out and live with a friend or in an efficiency what they are doing isn't right. Try talking about it with your parents before you do anything though maybe talk to family as to why your parents are like that.

Answer 4

This is what you do try getting a friend with a car to teach you how to drive go to your county clerk of courts and get your birth cert.call first to find out what kind of identification you'll need to prove who you are next withhold the rent from them or give them a portion of the rent saying there extra expenses you had to pay at school or something like I cashed the checks at the bank and lost the money in the envelope or something to that effect, save the money in your bank account then with the money you saved it'll be pretty easy to move out then just try to save your money that's where your independence lies, just put up with the rules a little while while you save to get the fu** out of there sounds like your parents are mooching off of you, your going to have to put your foot down sometime but do that after you have at least $1600 good luck to you and have a Merry
Christmas p.s.don't be coming in the house at 1or 2 in the morning plenty of time for that after you move

Answer 5

Yes they can.

You're an adult, and you can leave if you want - but as long as you live there they have the right to impose house rules.

If you break them, though, their ONLY recourse is to sling you out. If they say "You can't go out on evenings you're not working" then you have a choice - you go out anyway, and let them evict you, or you do as they say.

Note that, since you're paying rent, you're a legal tenant. If they DO choose to evict you, they have to give you a full 30 days notice.

Richard

Answer 6

You will have a rude awakening. Two rules:
1. The guy with the money makes the rules.
2. If in doubt, see rule 1.

Yes, I think it is appropriate for your parents to continue to have rules as long as you live with them, and I agree with them charging you rent. If you dont like it, move out and follow your landlord's rules (Cuz he will have the money..see rules above)
Finally, when you BUY a house, then you will follow the BANKS rules..(remember..the guy with the money?)

Answer 7

Dysfunctional families are so common in this country. Mental illness aside, the disconnect is coming for you to move on, apparently they are heavy handedly clipping your wings. You seem like a safe and potentially very productive member of our society, in my opinion.
Your parents may not acknowledge your maturity, until you have gone on alone. Courage, and determination. Set your compass, and go forward.
Your parents would not welcome their treatment of you taken to the public forum here at YA. I am aghast that people who are charged with raising children to adulthood would cut their success rates by these means of control.
A better legal issue is, "We need a law requiring mental health and common sense aptitude, to allow marriage with children."
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Answer 8

Unfortunately they can do that. They ARE doing that. Is it a good or loving thing for a parent to do? Absolutely not.

As I see it, the responsibility of parents is to prepare their children to be out on their own, not to prevent them from doing so.

Move out as soon as you can. Share a place with friends or find someone (as has been suggested) who'll let you stay with them until you're able to get a place of your own.

Shoot, if we knew you and you were going to school near here, you could stay with us. I hate seeing people being abused. And yes, this is a form of abuse. It's called "domination and control."

Good luck.

Addition: You don't need them to get your birth certificate. Order one on your own from the county where you were born.

Answer 9

It is their house, so they can set rules over any renter. You need to find someone who will let you sleep on the couch for a month until you can get first month's rent and get your own place.

Are they paying for college? Can you get them to agree to do that, even if you move out? I can't imagine trying to do that and put in over 40 hours of work at the same time.

Sounds like your parents will never compromise until you are physically out of their control. Get out, and maybe then you can try to be friends with them.

Answer 10

When my parents charged me rent (I was the youngest, and the ONLY one of their children they had ever charged rent), I paid them the first month in advance, then moved out the next day and never looked back.

Spread your wings and fly, it is time to go!