I have a terrible jealousy problem.?

Question

I have a group of friends, and we were really close until now. My jealousy is getting int he way of our friendship. Theyre all skinnier and prettier than me. Guys always flirt them them and they've all had boyfriends and have been kissed and everything. Guys never flirt with me, ive never had a boyfriend, been kissed, or even been called pretty by a guy. I cant stand being around them because everytime I see them getting guy attention or flirting I just feel like dying. It makes me feel hopeless and ugly and fat. Becuase of them, I am convinced I will never find someone who likes me because I am so hideous and that I have no use in the world because I'll never find that someone. I know that sounds pathetic, but that's truly how bad its gotten.

I dont want to end a friendship with them over something stupid like this, but I dont want to keep this way either. What should I do?

i dont know why this matters, but heres what I look like:

http://a254.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/121/l_f6a89ba98f317e36ccd1986187c17a3d.png
http://a662.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/78/l_8a72bc4b3d4a00006c0a1aeb7e3c34a5.png

Answer 1

become pretty...attitude first.

Answer 2

The question is are they making you feel that way or are you doing it to yourself. If they are tearing you down then lose them. If they are not part of the problem then these"beautiful" people see something worth while in having a relationship with you and you should feel confident enough in yourself to accept them and just be the best you can be. The truth is at the age I am guessing you are at it is very difficult for everybody. The best thing you can do is be confident in yourself and treat others the way you would want to be treated and over time everything will work out fine. We all have a place on the earth and all have special talents/gifts. Always remember that everything in life is a trade off. Being pretty is great but there are downsides. Everyone has problems its just a matter of what they are and how we choose to handle them. Keep your head up and believe in yourself.

Good luck

Answer 3

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am 15, and for the first 14 years of my life, (not that it mattered while I was a toddler, but you get what I'm saying) I was felt exactly like you do. Every single one of my friends had nice teeth, smooth faces, where way skinnier than me, and all had boyfriends. I worried about it all the time.

Guys would ask me about going out with my friends... not me. So I gained 20 pounds in 2 years (7th and 8th grade), because I thought, it doesn't matter anyway! So I started highschool, and I was just there. I didn't really care, but I always thought about it in the back of my mind. It seemed like once I stopped worrying about it so much, I got a few guys to talk to me, and I ended up loosing the 20 pounds my freshman year. (Without exercising outside of school!) Now I'm a sophomore and I've had 2 boyfriends, and I'm currently in a relationship with the 3rd.

There's really not a full-proof answer to this, but what I'm saying is that try not to worry about it too bad, I know it's WAY easier said than done. I know, b/c I was in your position. But everything will come to you eventually.

Answer 4

In time you will find that your physical looks will probably change. Put more effort into bettering yourself. Read books, go to the gym, pray, find solace in nature. If your friends are genuine and kind as friends should be, then you need to set your feelings aside if you want to continue having these valuable friendships. Your insecure is not a result of their actions, but of your own perception of yourself. Rather than feeling resentful toward them, try devoting your energies into liking yourself more. Just because you are a certain way now, doesn't mean that can't change. Additionally, just because you perceive your friends as "skinnier and prettier" does not mean that you can not be attractive as well. Everyone likes and enjoys a confident person who makes the most of what they have. If you are a curvier girl, make the most of it instead of sulking and self pitying about not feeling good enough.
Also, have patience with yourself and with your life. You are not in a race to compete with your friends, or anyone. And most of the boys that are interested in them now are probably superficial young fools who may overlook someone who is just as attractive (maybe not by social standards)...but will one day wake up and realize that there is a lot more to life, and to women, than the size 0 model types.
Just learn to love yourself. That is the most important and invaluable answer I can give you. You can't change certain things, but learning to have a self esteem will be the most powerful thing you can do for yourself. Then if your friends are real friends they will praise you for your changes.
Jealousy is only destructive. Let it go and move on to empower yourself for the better. Happy Holidays.

Answer 5

Sounds like this group of friends are toxic at this time of your life. What type of guy do you want to be with? It's not a bad thing that no one is interested in you yet. This just mean that all of your friends will have guys coming and going and in the end you will have some one to rely on. That person will worship the ground you walk on. Just hang in there for the moment and some one will come your way to make others really jealous of you. That person will love the inner you and you know for a fact that it can not be taken away. Physical beauty is meaningless in the fabric of time and space but the soul is immortal. *Hugs*

Answer 6

There are big girls out there who get guys. They get them by believing they are beautiful and worth it. They also usually have great bubbly personalities. Don't listen to these people who are saying you have to diet before you get a boyfriend. Just try practicing the belief that you are beautiful. Exercise is an important part of this process since it makes your mood better and makes you feel sexier. At the same time your body will become leaner and you will look that way too. Dieting won't have the same effect. A good way to do this is to work up to an hour of walking a day.

Answer 7

You have a low self image, and you need to fix that RIGHT NOW.

You are absolutely gorgeous!! And I don't say those things often about people, just that they may be cute or whatnot, but you are really beautiful. I had that problem, all my life, and I'm 19 now so I can still relate to you very well. I had friends who would be invited places, had boyfriends, made out in front of me, etc. I hated them, and because of that I isolated myself. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You need to get past what you may think you look like, because look what it has done to you already. YOu spend more time envying them, hating them, which puts off a very negative image of you to everyone else.

They are your friends because they like something about you, and that says wonders. You are a great person, otherwise they wouldn't have bothered with you. Don't want guys to give you attention, make guys give you attention by being a confident strong person. When you show you are strong, have control of yourself, and love yourself, guys will see that and someone will love it. Most every guy I know believes confidence in a woman is a great turn on. You need to have that in yourself and love yourself before someone is going to envy you. Notice your friends don't sit there and be sad about their looks or whatever? They have boyfriends, they get flirted with. If you are too busy paying attention to yourself, then people figure you've got enough attention there on your own and don't bother with sharing any.

I'm not the greatest looking, I hve acne, small boobs, and a bad sense of style. Hell I don't even have pretty eyes. But I get hit on everywhere I go, I can't go in public alone because I get approached. I'm not bragging, I'm giving you an example. People pay attention to me because I don't pay attention to myself. I pay attention to what I'm doing, and feel that I am a great person, I have a happy personality, great friends, and a great life. I couldn't want more. I show others attention, hell I even passed a napkin to a guy saying I thought he was hot even tho I was taken :)

I can't say this enough, you are a great person. You need to see that for yourself before other people are going to acknowledge them. Add me to messenger if you want, I'll help you with it: [e-mail]

Answer 8

same here. I have my own guy attention. BUt like the only guys i really know are not the cutest. WHile they r having attention, and one is going from bf to bf. I think u should be more outgoing and talk to guys. I keep trying but i find it difficult. I think that to but if u cant find him what i would do is go online dating thing. U r pretty. U should see me, my medicine (for face) make all my zits appear in two weeks and then they dissapear. But iam so lazy. I am trying. But i think i am sooo ugly. U dont even noe how pretty u r compared to me.

Answer 9

It's very hard to kick jealousy. It's very natural and I'm sure you have a reason for being so jealous. You may not even know what it is but it's probably something you had no control over. Just try your best to trust people more. Even if you get hurt, you'll be stronger in the end. Good luck...

Answer 10

Your problem is not your friends, it's that something has happened to make you feel horrible about yourself. I doubt that you're hideous or fat, and besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There's someone for everyone. If you learn to love and accept yourself, your confidence will shine through and draw people to you. And you'll stop comparing yourself to your friends. Make an appointment with a counselor if you need to.

Answer 11

the best way is to actually talk to your friends about this, since they know you better.we have all felt jealous one way or another and everyone overcomes it. don't feel hopeless because your day will oneday come to when a guy asks you out, it may not be today or tomarrow but surely soon enough when you're truely ready. whatever happens, happens. & for everything that does happen there is a reason. hope that helps :)