Question for people who have gone through divorce....?

Question

When do you know when its time to get a divorce? Ive been cheated on by my husband and he's always lying to me. Ive been through the mental and physical abuse with him. I just found out last week that he hasnt been paying the car note for 6 months (my name is on this car also). I believe that Im a good wife and mother. People have even told me before that he's so lucky to have me. I try and I try.... but when do you know that you need to stop trying and leave??? And when you got your divorce..... were you happy?? Or did you wish you never left??

Answer 1

Hmmm....I think society is too quick to do the D. However, your situation seems like self abuse. You may regret leaving but only for the security. I'd never go back. She cheated and yes she regrets it. I don't ... I'm thrilled. No regrets ever from me.

Answer 2

I think if you have these questions, it may be time. I stayed with my almost ex husband for a year and a half telling him he had to change or I would leave. He wouldn't work, was very verbally abusive, spent money at will and was very lazy. He never changed so I did eventually leave. I have not looked back yet. That was six months ago and I am so happy. Most people say just after you leave is the hardest part because basically you go through a grieving process. For me, it wasn't that hard because I had already been though that grieving process. I kept thinking that I stood up before our family, friends and most of all God and said I would love him no matter what and that it meant that I couldn't leave. God would not want you to stay in an abusive relationship! If he is abusive, I think the time to leave was the day he started being abusive. GET OUT! Good luck and God bless.

Answer 3

Well, I'd say you are past due to get one. Why? Because he lied and cheated. Those are traits that never go away or never improve. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Once a liar, always a liar. And physical abuse? Absolutely no way is your life worth this man.

Happy when I got my divorce? Nope. He left me for his pregnant girlfriend. But guess what? Nine months later I met the man who is now my Significant Other and I can't help but think if the ex hadn't cheated on me I'd still be in that miserable marriage thinking I was happy and He was the only man who would have me.

Leave. Do no hesitate. Go now, before it's too late. And go find yourself somebody who is worthy of your love.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Hi. I'm really sorry you are going through all that. I just got a divorce about a month ago. My husband had a drinking problem which caused a great deal of stress and pain for me during our marriage. I loved him and was going to stick it out regardless. He told me he wanted out in June and took off his ring. I still stuck it out. Things got worse and more distant. I moved out in September and from the day i moved out he was trying to get me back. I found out mid October that he had been having an affair for months and months... the truth only came out because she is pregnant and due in January. This is cutting me to the bone because I cannot have a baby and have always wanted one. I was willing to tolerate everything, the mental abuse the drinking the problems that come with it but when he thought I would help him raise this baby with him, I just couldn't do it. I understand what you are going through but you have to realize if you are not happy, you've put everything into this that you can and there is nothing left to give, it is time to go and be you. If you are like me, you have lost a lot of yourself and you feel deep down inside that you shoulda, woulda, coulda and haven't... but it takes two and you need to have a life and be happy. I know I am better off because he was just pulling me down. Things will get better but they won't if you don't make a change for yourself and your kids. Besides... if your best friend came to you with your story... what would you tell her? Good Luck.. I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

My husband beat me cheated on me lied to be and refused to work. I was married to him for 10 years. Everyone was always telling me to leave him. I kicked him out when I couldn't take it any more mentally I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Don;t let yourself get to that point. No one can make that decision for you only you can. When you have had enough you will do something about it.Almost no one is happy when they divorce but sometimes it does feel like a big weight has been lifted. You will have good days and bad then when you find yourself again and know who you are as a person it will start to get better.

Answer 6

You put up with way more then i ever did but then again i was alot younger then i am today. The older you get the more you will put up with and don't think our husbands don't know this about us and they use it to get away with what ever they want. You need to get away from him now and find a good man,i did and you can to. There are good men out there you don't need to be stuck with an unloving husband any longer. I met someone and he ask me to marry him before i even saw a lawyer to have divorce papers drawn up. That was 28 years ago and i am still married to that man. I guess i don't need to tell you that i was much happier after i left my ex husband. I wouldn't be with my husband today if i didn't decide to leave my ex when i did. I'm just glad that i had sense enough to realize that our marriage was no longer working.

Answer 7

Well I regret my divorce but my husbands only problem was the internet porn and the only reason why I regret it is because I am still young but a single mother of 3 kids and I cannot run the streets and have fun I have to be responsible so if I could I would do it all over again and wait till the kids where grown?
You have to weigh the good with the bad? You also need to look around you and listen to what you said don't you know that the women who sacrifice their life for the man the men treat them like crap?
I was a martar just like you and my ex husband new wife treats him like crap and he kisses her but! By the way she has nothing on me. You will learn as you age looks does not matter how your husband treats you it is your attitude.
Be confident and in control and you will get him right in his place.

Answer 8

I had lots of ups and downs before, during and after the divorce. You know it's time to divorce when you have had enough. You will just know when you've had enough. No one can tell you. You must decide for yourself. I was still jealous when she found someone else and married them and worried that he would make her happier and "cure" her, but their marriage didn't work either because she didn't change and grow. She was the same person with him that she was with me.

Expect sadness, bittersweet memories, and a longing that stays around for a while, but you will heal,and you will love again, and you won't have to live with a liar in your house anymore. Life will get better.

Answer 9

You know it's tiem to divorce if f the person is actually bringing u down in life. If he isn't doing anything to help you you can stay if you want but when it gets to the point he is ruining your name and credit it's time to leave Him being in your life is actually hurting you. I'm sure you have a lower self esteem too as cheaters are usually losers that try to make you think their behavior is your fault somehow. I know it is hard to divorce but believe me you will be better off. And you might say we have been through the worst but believe me with these kinda men it only gets worst and worst. My husband cheated and got me in debt i paid of my debt and five yrs later he cheated again brought her in my house when i was in the hospital having surgery. They don't change If they can hurt you once and don't care about your feelings what will stop them the next time, and it could be worst save yourself the heartache. Godbless you! Love your neighbor as thigh self everybody forgets the love thigh self part! God doesn't want you to be in a relationship where if you love the person it hurts you you are betraying yourself YOU ARE SOMEBODY IF YOU DON'T STAND UP FOR YOURSELF YOU WILL ALWAYS BE TREATED BAD. chained to him you will never have the chance to be happy with a good man you are not allowing yourself to be happy.

Answer 10

You need to get things in order & leave him soon. You should of left when he first physically abused you because once you forgive them for that kind of abuse it never ends. I feel for you, but this guy is not going to change anytime soon. He has abused you every way possible-cheating,hitting you, etc. & you do not deserve that. I know it is hard but, believe me once you are out of there & start getting your self-esteem back you will wonder why you put up with all that for so long. Unless he gets some major help I see no future for you-time to say good-bye!!

Answer 11

I'm currently still going through my divorce and just waiting for it to be finalized in March. THANK GOD and I wish I had filed sooner. You know when it's time to throw in the towel. We went to marriage therapy but my opinion on that is that if you have to go and pay someone to try to help you make your marriage work, IT'S OVER. Your husband is a liar, a cheater and flat out not trust worthy. Why would you bother wanting to stick around and wait to see if he gets better? Don't get me wrong, in the beginning you'll second guess your choice but as time passes you'll remember why it was the BEST choice to make. You deserve to be happy and don't deserve to just keep working at a marriage that's continually failing, especially when your husband isn't doing anything to fix it either.