i just wondered how long it takes a man to wander when his wife is not "giving it up"? He knows why and he seems fine with it, but I dont think he really is fine with it. I thnk he knows that I am going to leave him anyway and how do you know if you spouse is crazy enough to hurt you? I recently found out his ex-wife had a PPO against him during their divorce because he threatened to shoot her in the head!!!! Who does one turn to for help if they need it, when there isnt any family in the picture? And are there really men who would rather hurt their wives, even kill them than to have their wives leave them?
2007-12-16 13:06:53 · 19 answers · asked by statz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know you cannot put all the details in a small email message,
so I am not quite sure about some of what you are trying to
convey---but I will say this---if what you have heard about his
ex-wife is true, you are playing with fire.
No one knows if a spouse is capable of hurting or killing them--just listen to the news or watch any of the reality based
crime shows on television.
Whatever your husbands issues are, whatever your fears are
about the potential for him hurting you, you need to talk to someone in your town or city to make sure you are not in
danger, if you feel you may be.
If he has ever harmed you, you can contact a local domestic
violence shelter---call information and ask for such a number, or call the local police to ask for information regarding if
such a place exists in your community. Another choice is
to call social services to ask about a domestic violence
shelter.
Yes, of course there are men (and women) who would rather hurt or kill their spouse than to have them leave.......
So please, do not take any chances if you think this is a possibility. SAFETY first---no matter what the situation.
If your community does not have a domestic violence shelter, then talk to a local police officer, tell him or her what it is you have heard about his ex wife, what you are afraid of---and
follow his or her advice for your own safety.
By the way, if your husband is tempermental and violent, it may not be wise for you to withhold sex in the hope that he will leave you. If you are truly concerned for your saftey,
then you must talk to someone in your are who can assist
you in knowing how to get out of a dangerous situation and not continue living with someone you fear may harm you in any way.
God bless you.
Doris
2007-12-16 13:25:39 · answer #1 · answered by Doris L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long it might take for him to leave depends on his age personality, morals and just how skillful he is with attracting women. Some men can go astray in about te time it takes to get their pants on and go next door.
On guys wanting to kill their wives? Most use this threat without really meaning it. But when they threaten you this way they usually REALLY mean they will beat you till you are black and blue so you wouldn't want to be seen for a week or two. Those statistics are about 1 in 5 men with a distinct preference by alcoholics and drug users (the one place where the relatively harmless marijuana gets included on this one) And about 1 in 100 will REALLY make an attempt to kill you. Riskiest if they have a gun.
If you are threatened, no exceptions. Your best bet is grab a plane for a new home more than 1000 miles away. Stick around and you will gamble on being that 1 in 5 beating or the 1 in 100 attempted homocide (and about 1 in 10 attempteds are successful ones)
2007-12-16 13:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by genghis1947 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you ever watch the news? Of course there are violent men who would rather harm their wives than let them leave. You are playing a dangerous game, and that is just exactly what it is...a game. Pack your bags and move out now, if that is what you intend to do. Stop trying to drive him away. There are women's shelters where you can go for a few nights until you find another place to live. If you cannot find a shelter and don't have a friend to turn to, try to find an inexpensive hotel where you can stay.
2007-12-16 13:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, my BIG question is if you're fearful of being hurt by your husband then why are you dragging the marriage out? Are you waiting to see if it actually will happen? And YES, there are men out there who will REALLY hurt their wives. Don't you watch the news or true crime tv? In your situation you need to contact social services and find out if they can give you referrals to either shelters or other places that can help you.
2007-12-16 13:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by grneyedgrly 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can answer your last question-
YES! There are men all over the news and in jail every day because they'd rather kill their wives than go through a divorce. It's very common.
2007-12-16 13:10:43 · answer #5 · answered by Eraserhead 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes there are men out there who kill and hurt their wives and the whole family. Have you seen the news. Witholding sex doesnt matter. He could go get sex elsewhere. Contact a domestic abuse center.
2007-12-16 13:18:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is abusive then go to the police and file a report.Get a restraining order and then pack your things and go to a battered womens shelter or a church could assist you if you can't find one.Do not stay at that house get out.There's cases like this on the news everyday.Good luck:)
2007-12-16 13:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by superstar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
biggest thing is don't antagonize if your fed up and he is a jerk just leave go to a shelter for safety if he has prov en previous violent tendencies get out while the getting is good contacting the police is good also but i think the shelter will help you with that
2007-12-16 13:17:01 · answer #8 · answered by big nickel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE!!Get help call your local women shelter, 211. Protect yourself, take some self defense classes don't wait. If he owns a gun or is into any type weapons. Arm yourself. Keep emergency cash, clothes, keys, cell phone, etc.
2007-12-16 13:20:39 · answer #9 · answered by leahcane 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if your gut feeling is telling you to beware .. than you really should. Since no family is in the picture.. is their a hotline you can call someone to talk to and let them know what is going on?.. I really think you need to communicate with your husband.. if it's to the point no communication is there.. than find someone.. but don't keep it to yourself. good luck!
2007-12-16 13:14:08 · answer #10 · answered by steph 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋