Need a divorce in NYS....?

Question

My husband and I were married in NY in 1997. I thought we were happily married until last Feb. he came to me and told me he no longer wanted to be married. After a huge mess - I found out that he has been messing around with a close friend of ours.

He moved out of our home in April and let it go to foreclosure. I have been a stay at home mom for 8 years and trying to get on my own 2 feet now.

I just recently (within a couple of weeks) got a place to live for my children and I.

We have both gotten lawyers and have been going through the visitation/child support/alimony thing....which is almost settled.

I have talked to my lawyer about this and it seems like she just keeps putting it off. I want this divorce - I want to file now but Im not sure how to go about doing it. Where do I go? Also, due to me being a stay at home mom for 8 years, funds are really low while I get my feet on the ground - is there something out there that will help me?

Thanks!

I meant to ask if there is something out there to help me pay for the fees of filing for divorce.

We were married for 10 years this past June - so going on 10.5 now.

I believe I can get him on cruel and inhuman treatment - long story - Im not going to go into it but I have everything journaled and believe I can go this route.

I am currently getting child support and maintenance. Although I have a great lawyer (who comes out with claws and fangs in court) Im just not sure why she keeps putting me off when I tell her I want to file now! He had to pay the retainer - and Im not sure how it will work with the rest of her fees so maybe legal aid is the best way to go - do they fight just as hard? I dont want this to be drawn out - I just want it over with - Im ashamed to be his wife when he's prancing around town with another woman!

Answer 1

You might want to have your attorney check into laws regarding social security benefits you would be entitled to based on your husbands earnings should you remain married for 10 years. I believe you are entitled to payments when you retire provided you do not remarry. You could forseeably benefit from extending your marriage to 10 years. You might also be eligible for alimony until you can locate employment or be trained for a job.
There are agencies that can assist you until you find a job, check with your local social service agencies.

Answer 2

I received my divorce thru NY State.
Get on your lawyer's case after all you've got her on retainer and tell her to start the wheels in motion NOW...since NY is a fault state you must have grounds....probably constructive abandonment of the marriage..it's one ground, adultery is another....your lawyer will advise as to the best route to go........as far as some financial help for yourself, you may be awarded short term maintenance after the divorce to help suppliment your paycheck until you are self-supporting...but it won't last but a short time so you're gonna hafta hussle job wise-that should have been part of your alimony thing.....

I found on the whole the judges in family Court to be pretty fair...my ex tried a few times to bamboozle 'em but they saw thru that immediately.....Good Luck.